


Seditious

by SpicyPepper



Category: Homestuck
Genre: AU, Adult Trolls, Alternian Empire, Canon-Typical Violence, Civil War, Fantrolls, Fighting, Gen, Illustrated, Karkat gets it in the neck, Mating Cycles/In Heat, May Become More Graphic, Mentions of Rape, Minor Pairing Mentioned, Mpreg, No Kids - Freeform, OCs - Freeform, Oviposition, Ovistuck, Poor sod, Rape In later chapters, Rape Recovery, Rebellion, Rebellionstuck, Sober Gamzee Makara, Space Battle, Trolls Only, Violence, War, What do you expect with a war?, breeder, minor shipping (all canon), no-Sgrub AU, space travel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-06
Updated: 2017-08-20
Packaged: 2018-01-18 10:08:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 25
Words: 56,996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1424596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpicyPepper/pseuds/SpicyPepper
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Feferi has begun a rebellion against the Condesce and her hemospectrum. However, it isn't until they come across a certain mutant again that the depths of what she has started becomes clear.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> seditious  
> 1.  
> inciting or causing people to rebel against the authority of a state or monarch.  
> "the letter was declared seditious"  
> synonyms: rabble-rousing, inciting, agitating, fomenting, troublemaking, provocative, inflammatory
> 
> Hello, this is my first story on Archive of Our Own, and I want to point out that I did this on a whim and for a little bit of fun. My work best not be taken seriously, although it may come across seriously. However, if you see any spelling/grammar mistakes though, please inform me.  
> This piece was actually inspired by another author on this site, although the stories will take very different paths from the original inspiration.  
> By the way, Karkat is tormented in this story. He's the kind of character that seems to magnetise ill treatment, but he is defiantly the kind of character that can cope with it. I hope no one minds. So yeah, hope everyone enjoys.

Sollux

You almost didn’t see it. It was so well camouflaged with the dark fabric covers and crates in the back of the cargo bay. You don’t know what made you turn the torch back down there, probably never will, but you did all the same.

You could hear the ruckus behind you as your soldiers moved all the useful cargo onto your own ship. The vessel had been stocked full of supplies for the Condesce’s army, and you had managed to intercept it.

“Pure luck,” Vriska had said.

“Tracking skills,” you had replied.

You can hear Equius snap at another blue blood, Riilst Eywoon, as they grab the same crate. Riilst starts shouting at his senior and you can practically hear Nepeta pushing between the two and making “Rabble rabble” sounds at them.

“He fucking well star’ed I’!” Riilst snapped , his Northern Alternian accent coming through thickly.

“Language, Eywoon.” Equius hisses.

“Thut up both of you.” Spittle flies from your mouth, and you wipe it away with the back of your hand. You are sometimes half tempted to have your teeth pulled. You focus on the hiding figure. You can see it moving again.

You walk clumsily over to it, struggling to keep your footing on the jumble of waste and damaged pieces of cargo bay; you do not need this. You kneel down for a better look at what turns out to be a male.

He is broader shouldered than you. He has a strong jaw and, somewhat surprisingly, some stubble. His nubby horns are showing through the holes on his hood. They look so familiar it makes you feel sick, and your hands start to shake as you bend down further and look under the hood at his face.

He doesn’t look like a child anymore, his hair brushed and coming in thick along the sides of his face, which has lost its roundness. His eyes don’t look as shadowed as they used to but that is probably more down to the shocking red color that glows through them, reflecting the light bouncing off the wall beside you from your torch. Sad, tired, scared eyes. Yet you can still see that fire in them, the one that was there before.

It’s been nearly two sweeps, two long eventful sweeps, but you are so glad to see him again.

“Long time no thee, KK.”

Karkat lifts his head to look at you properly. He looks resigned, as if ready to give up. You suppose he would be, his eyes give his mutation away clearly.

“Sollux…?” his voice is gravelly, as if he had been screaming a lot.

“No thit, what are you doing here? Never mind that! You can tell me later, let’th get you outta here.” Your lisp comes through more than usual with your excitement. You have finally found him, after all this time, and everyone was beginning to think he had been culled.

You move to stand up, but he takes your free hand and stops you. You look at him as he glances towards the others “It’th jutht the otherth.”

He looked down again as he draws your hand downwards between the opening of his cloak. You’re confused at first and that doubles when your hand meets the swelling of his stomach. It isn’t until you feel the shifting underneath that realization slaps you across the face and your blood runs cold.

Culling would have been better than this.

“What the-?!”

“Don’t tell them.” He rasps out, his voice surprisingly quiet “Please don’t tell them. I can’t lose another one, please.” He’s shaking.“But KK, you can’t exactly hide it, everyone ith going to notice…”

Lose another one? He’s carried before, you think, then wonder, why are you surprised? You know how they treat lowbloods, imagine how they would treat a mutant.

He wasn’t the only breeder you’ve come across, and it is becoming more and more common. Evolution in the making. At this rate, you might not need the Mother Grub for much longer. Eridan and Aradia were both breeders too, but both had avoided conceiving. Equius was the one to raise awareness about Aradia going into heat and you might not have known about Eridan being a breeder if you weren’t Feferi’s matesprit.

But to see one actually carrying a grub, well, you’d rather watch Gamzee go berserk again.

You mentally slap yourself; it’s unfair to think that way. Karkat just never seemed to get the non-shitty end of anything.

“Nothing will happen to you or… or…” Damn well say it! “Or your grub, KK.”

He nods, but he can probably tell it has been gritted out from between your protruding teeth. He stands first this time, and you note that his cloak hides his stomach well, at least. You catch a glimpse of the clasp on the dark grey material. The broach is shaped like his sign. At least they didn’t take that from him.

You let him go first and you are close behind, careful in case he falls. But he makes a fool of you with how easily he walks over the clutter. How many times has he done this, you wonder?

Once across the pile, he turns to you, unsure of what to do. You forget that you are in charge of this mission briefly, and shout “I’ve found another captive!” Equius turns and walks over. He towers over you and Karkat, who is about half a head shorter than you.

His straight black hair remains unchanged, although for once he has all his teeth, unbroken. His armoured vest is lined with the same colour as his blood. The black wrapping around his arms and waist make him look menacing in this light, but you know better. His shades are a useless trinket.

“Is that?” he points to Karkat.

“He’th finally dethided to thow up after all thethe thweepth.” You put your hand on his shoulder and he instantly tenses. You let it drop.

“It’s good to see you again, friendleader.” He smiles and you can see Karkat smiling back.

“It’s been a while since I’ve been happy to see a highblood.” The comment seems completely alien coming from Karkat, who never spoke about the hemospectrum unless he was referring to the way everyone flashed it around. No, referring wasn’t the right word; complaining was more like it.

Equius reaches his arm out and guides him to the exit, but before they leave, he abruptly turns around, “Go into the belly of the ship, there’s someone waiting there.”

“Who?”

“Just someone I need to repay a favour to.” With that he turns and continues out the door.

The belly of the ship? A helmsman must be there. A psionic like you.

You take a corridor down towards the bowels of the vessel. It was darker down here and you could smell the dampness in the air . It was colder down here too, more suited to sea dwellers than land dwellers like you. At the end of the corridor there is a door that opens as you come closer to it.

The stench of blood and electricity waft against you and you have to hold your stomach before going in “Hello?”

There’s a cough and deep, shaky breathing from the helmsman, who is slumped against the biowires holding him up. You walk through the water and slowly see more of him as you get closer . The water is freezing against the material of your boots.

He coughs again as you get a good view of him. Blood trickles from every single orifice of his face, and he is covered in sweat. How long had he been here? You don’t even care to know.

You press your hand against the biowires and send a pulse through them that releases the barely conscious psionic into your arms. He is heavy, and too weak to support himself . You are barely able to drag him to the door. A brown blood appears at the doorway, Zoshis Shrink by name. He’s very quiet, if you remember correctly.

He doesn’t ask questions as he scoops the yellow blood up by his other arm and you both carry him back to your ship,  _The Destroyer_. Shit name if they ask you. Nah, but it’s a decent ship at least.

Vriska greets you at the door, her lips spread into a grin, “Not leaving anything behind, are you Commander?”

“He’th a helmthman, he’ll have information.”

“If he makes it,” she points out, adjusting her hat.

You stumble as his feet catch on the hatch of the door. The helmsman coughs, and a small splatter of blood sprays on the floor. It’s worrying how true her statement might be. It’s worrying how you could have ended up exactly like this one day if Feferi had not started the rebellion.

Speaking of your matesprit , she walks towards you, her thick curls tied back into a bun. She looks at the helmsman.

“He looks-“

“Horrible, we know,” Vriska interrupts as she moves out of the way of two lime bloods. They both push you and Zoshis aside as they place the helmsman in the sling they brought for him. He is carried away. Feferi looks like she has seen a ghost.

“He mutht have been uthed pretty intenthely before we found him,” you say , placing your arm around her shoulders.

“He looked like you, Sollux. A lot like you.” Her eyes are wide. He didn’t look like you, did he? No… maybe? You’ll have to go look at him again if he makes it through the day.

“Feferi?” you say, to try to distract her from that topic, “We have another guest you might be more interested in.”

“Who? A captain?”

“I guess you could call him a leader.” She frowns at you, not liking how ‘koi’ you’re being with her. Hell, now you’re making fish puns! You smile at her and draw her a little closer before walking her towards one of the benches lining the loading bay. All the captives, some of them soon to be freedom fighters like yourself, are crowded on them, mostly looking bewildered. They range from burgundy bloods to green bloods, but you don’t focus on them. They’re being registered by Terezi, who is so focused on them, she hasn’t noticed the red blood on the other side of the room.

Karkat is looking at Equius, who is kneeling beside him, asking if he wants something to drink.

“I’m fine, Equius, don’t worry about me.”

“But in your condition-“

“My condition is something I’m used to by now. For fuck’s sake…”

“Lan-“

“No point in dithiplining him, Equius. He will thwear like a thailor until the day he dieth.” You grin at him. You feel triumphant about finding him again, even more so for the fact that he is, for the most part, relatively unchanged.

Karkat looks at you before his eyes move over to Feferi, who gasps in excitement.

“Karkat! Is that really you?!” her shrill voice carries; you’re sure that soon Terezi and Vriska will be by your side, as well.

He nods, “Yeah, it’s good to see you again.” He stands slowly before she yanks him into a hug that he seems reluctant to enter. It takes him a few second to return the embrace and the whole time you are sure you see fear in his red eyes.

Feferi pulls back to look at him, then at his stomach. It was completely hidden from sight by his cloak, even while sitting, but he couldn’t hide it when they touched. 

Her eyes widen in horror “You… you’re a…”

He looks down, his expression sullen. Why? Why did it have to happen to KK?

“He’s a what?” Vriska drawls impishly from your shoulder. She is actually _leaning on your shoulder_  and you jump at feeling her so close.

Terezi is beside Feferi, looking inquisitive. She sniffs before gasping “I know that scent!” she leans closer, inhaling deeply. “Karkat? You’re alive?”

“Well, I’m not fucking dead.”

“Karkat!” she practically throws herself at him. Vriska stands up straight again and looks at him in shock.

But Terezi’s happiness is short lived. All of a sudden she pulls away as well, horror etched into her features. Vriska almost pushes you out of the way as she walks up to him and pulls aside his cloak. Underneath, he is wearing black trousers hiked up to his chest, adorned with red trim. You’re almost sure you’ve seen someone wear that before. Underneath he is wearing a light grey shirt with loose sleeves and black fingerless gloves going up to his elbows. Around his waist, you’re sure to help disguise his distended belly, is a red sash which has been pinned by a round broach with his sign engraved in it.

He doesn’t try to hide the swell of his belly or the shame on his face. Vriska hisses, “Breeder!”

He almost flinches out of her reach as everyone stares at him. She couldn’t have been fucking subtle, could she? That was obviously too much to ask for.

Terezi’s look of horror turned to a look of hurt, “How could you do this? After everything else you’ve been through?”

“You say that like I had a choice!” he snaps, and although his voice is low, it carries well still. He turns and walks out of the loading bay and through the main corridor.

Feferi looks at you with a face you cannot read, “Vriska, get him to a room and give him some food. Terezi, as you were.” She does not look away from you.

You avert your eyes. You feel a pang of guilt run through you as you wish, briefly, that you had never found him. You wish you had found him sooner, before… before this.

After everyone was registered and all the resistance members were accounted for, you and Feferi walked towards the conference room. You haven’t so much as spoken to her since Karkat left. She had barked orders, you had followed them.

“FF, I’m sor-“

“Do not finish that sentence.”

You stop “What?”

“You found him after all this time. Do not apologize for that. Do not apologize for saving him from that life.” She is shaking slightly, but you are unsure whether to comfort her or stay where you are.

“It was Karkat , you know. Karkat who inspired me to start this rebellion.” You’re shocked, she never told you this before, “He always had a way to bring us together, regardless of our blood. I never knew that he was a mutant, never even suspected, but it never mattered either way. It didn’t matter what his colour was because it never mattered to him what our colours were. It was a two way street.”

“He only complained about blood colour when we pestered him about his, he never saw the point to showing it off like it was something important, because to him, it shouldn’t have been. I wanted to create a world he felt safe in, a world where he could be free, where all of us could be free. Where blood would not be important, but how you chose to live would be. Yet, now I feel like it came too late. Not once did I think he was in danger or could ever be in danger. He was never that far from my thoughts, but I never once considered what his blood might bring him. Not once did I think anyone would hurt him, he… he always seemed untouchable to me…”

Her shoulders are shaking noticeably. You give in and place your hands on them . She turns and leans her head against your chest. “Why did we come too late? Why couldn’t we have found him sooner?”

“I don’t know. I… we’ve got him now. That ith thomething, that mutht be thomething.”

You hug her closely. She needs it right now, and so do you . You do because Karkat was never that far from your thoughts, either. Because he was the real spark that started this war. The heart of the rebellion. He was the outsider looking in. At once both the highest and lowest in the hemospectrum. He was the Sufferer’s descendant, the Signless’s heir, the sign of change to come.


	2. Chapter 2

Vriska

 The kitchens were bustling with rebellion workers trying to prepare meals for those they had recently rescued. You dodged the fizzing pan flying from one hot ring to another. There were trays being passed from one set of hands to another. You grab a plate and artfully snatch a bread roll from one tray, and some fruit from a neighbouring planet that had been sliced into quarters.

 You walk up to one of the tables and slice the meat that sits on one of the plates there. A few slices should do, it would be better to have some real food, but there has not been any grubloaf made since last perigee. It has been this strange food for a while. You cannot complain you suppose. It’s not the worst it could be, certainly a lot better than the food delivered when you were serving the imperial fleet.

 You reach for some cluckbeast eggs that have been boiled and a spoonful of salad beside it before deciding to grab another. You had taken a liking to the green leaves and fruits yourself and might munch on them while you go looking for Karkat, who could be anywhere.

 There is a cluckbeast leg available, which you snatch before reaching for some small titbits of crappy morsels that you didn’t see the point of. Lastly you took a glass of musclebeast milk.

 You twirl around and walk out of the room, dodging trolls as you pass. Everyone has gotten used to the bustle of many people in the kitchens and mess halls. Everywhere you went there was someone, doing something. The new recruits will do the same.

 Many of them are lowbloods who have joined the cause for some reason or another, mostly because they have been wronged. There were some highbloods, most not going further that your cerulean. There were a few, such as the head of the rebellion herself.

 It takes you nearly half an hour to locate Karkat, who is curled up in a vent of all things. Thank goodness for your luck, or you might have not found him before he moved on. You had eaten the entire salad on the way here.

 He looks at you sardonically before placing his chin on his knees again. Well, as best he could anyway.

 “It could be worse you know.”

 “Could it? When even now I can feel their hands on me and I can barely get a horror terror without _him_ in it?”

 “Who?”

 “Never mind. I’ll tell you some other time when I don’t feel like biting you.”

 “Sounds an awful lot like black flirting there, Karkles.” You tease him with Terezi’s nickname. You can’t help it when he looks so grim. Not even angry, just grim.

 “Would it matter if it was? It’s only so long before someone pins me down and fucks me anymore. So why don’t you take your snarkass comments and fuck yourself with them, how’s that for an idea?”

 “Like anyone would allow that. Look Karkat, I’m not the enemy, even if my blood says so to you.”

 “You must be shitting me, I was kept for the best of the fleet. With trolls whose idea of a fucking gentle touch is breaking your fucking arm. Imagine what those kind of trolls do to your nook, wonder I can use it at all, who knows, might have done me a fucking favour. I was never allows with anyone lower than a blue blood.”

 “I’m blue enough, thank you. That’s does make me any less your friend.” You brandish the tray “See, I even brought a peace offering. Now, let’s continue this riveting conversation in a private respiteblock so we don’t have anyone with apt hearing nubbing in on us, yeah?”

 He looks at you with a look in his eyes that you cannot quite read. Suddenly, one of your eyes flicker on with him crying before moving on. He crawls out before steadily rising to his feet. He follows you, head lowered, until you bring him to your own respiteblock. You have a bench with maps and books set out on it to help you with planning. Your matesprites’ recuperacoon is next to yours but he doesn’t comment on it.

 You place the plate on his lap and he takes a slip of the milk first before grabbing the leg and biting into it. He doesn’t hold back and you half wonder if it is grub or food his stomach is swollen with. He eats the food quietly without looking at you.

 “So… how far did you get before they found out?”

 He pauses at this, thinking before replying “About a sweep.”

 “Really, that long?”

 “Yeah, I used colour contacts to disguise my eye colour when it came through. I wore lime as well, but it was useless in the end. I was the top achiever, which didn’t settle well with this other troll. He and his goons jumped me when I was on my own. I fought back the best I could, but a descent blow to my nub revealed my real blood colour.

 “I thought that they were going to cull me for it, but they absconded. My superior came to my door later, I didn’t even try to hide it then. They locked me up for weeks, tortured me as you would expect. I then went into heat and, well, you can see the end result.” He leaned back and gestured to the swell.

 You try not to grimace at it, although you are pretty sure you’ve failed. Breeders were becoming quite common, Aradia was one for crying out loud. Equius had made a point of being away when she was in heat though, so she didn’t suffer the same fate as Karkat.

 “So, how long is it supposed to last? Or do you know?”

 “About 11 perigees.”

 “Fuck.”

 “You’re preaching to the subjugglator here.”

 “So, how much do you know about being…” you brush the back of your neck, not wanting to say it. It was odd speaking to him again, especially without him shouting and swearing all the time, and even odder knowing what he was.

 “Pregnant? Only what I’ve learned from the last two.”

 “Two?!”

 “Yeah.” He places the empty plate down and takes the glass of milk. You should have grabbed a glass yourself.

 “The first one I lost extremely quickly. I was only about five perigees in when I went into an early labour. I was still expected to sleep with highbloods when I was carrying, you see. The abuse those fuckers deal out does not do you any good with grub.

 “The second one made it till full term but it was still born. I was completely distraught after that. It was decided then and there that I would be left alone for a while. It wasn’t until I went into heat again when they decided to use me again, and now I’m on number three. Hopefully, this one will be the charm.”

 He rubs a hand over his stomach gently, tenderly even. He cares about it, you realise. Really cares about it, loves it even. He doesn’t see it as a parasite or something to hate as a reminder of what has happened to him. He doesn’t place any blame on it at all. He wants this one to live. To grow and be strong.

 It’s unnatural, you think, to care about a grub like that. But, then again, he is technically unnatural, with his bright red blood and almost glowing eyes and his ability to bare grubs.

 “I’m sorry…”

 He looks at you, shocked.

 “Sorry about what?”

 “This.” You gesture to his stomach “If we had focused on rescuing you, then maybe we would have found you before-“

 “And you would have found me depressed and not willing to do anything but die. Losing the second grub was the hardest. The first one I didn’t care about as much because as far as I was concerned, it was a parasite using my body. But the second one, it was a little indigo blood, I grew attached to it.”

 “I guess. I don’t get your attachment to it, but I guess it’s only to be expected of the Sufferer’s descendant. He was raised by another troll after all.”

 “Yeah, if Porrim could do it, why can’t I?”

 “Who?”

 “Wait, you don’t know-“

 A knock at the door interrupts him. A brown blood, the same hue as Tavros, appeared around the door “Captain Serket, General Peixes is holding a war meeting, she requires your presence.”

 “I’m on my way.” You turn to Karkat “You stay here and rest. I’m sure you’ll be glad of it.”

 He nods before you leave him to rest. The brown blood remains standing by the door “Do you want me to guard him?”

 “I don’t think there’ll be any need.” He nods and follows you down to the war room.

 The room is bland and screams too much of seadweller in your opinion. Its brown walls have been covered in maps of the stars and local planets. Strings are pinned from one area of a map to another to make the routes of ships. No fleet or base or store locations are noted down, lest the ship is lost in battle and they have to abscond.

 In the centre of the spacious in a table with an array of smaller maps and books with information in them, notes and plans that have been jotted down for the care and location of those freed in sieges. The room was crowded, everyone who had any say in anything seem to be there. Meaning that a lot of people who just _thought_ they had a say were here also.

 The most notable there were the ten Descendants. Those who were descended from the stories of old. All of you dressed similar to how your ancestors were dictated to be, or at least similarly. You could abide wearing the same full length coat as Mindfang did, yours went to your knee only and you wore black leggings instead of blue.

 Feferi looked the spit of the Condesce in herself, if her long wild hair wasn’t plaited loosely back, she didn’t wear the jewellery of her youth, instead she wore a circle belt around her hips. She was standing at the end of the table, facing the door. Either side of her, looking equality overbearing was her matesprite and moirail.

 Eridan looked identical to Duelscar, even down to the two scars running along his face, a gift from the Grand Highblood. The only difference between him and the original was his cape, scarf, sleeves and blonde streak, the latter three of which the original lacked.

 Sollux was adorned in the yellow and black of his ancestor, similar to that helmsmen they had found. His sleeves were yellow down to the elbow, slightly puffy like the legs, before going tight black to his wrists. He still wore his glasses.

 Aradia, Equius and Nepeta stood to one side of the table. Aradia’s long hair still flowed around her back but her fitted dress clung to her figure, showing every slim curve she had. Her dress was a dark red with burgundy trim, rather than the greens of legend.

 Equius looked the least like his ancestor. He wore no headpiece and his glass shades remained, although less cracked now than before. His black armour was lined with blue trim. His forearms where bare and he wore fingerless gloves.

 Nepeta had grown her hair out. It was messier then Aradia’s even. The green and black of her clothes showed her surprisingly ample bosom, hips and tiny waist. She had ridded herself of that stupid tail and replaced it with armour on her hips, elbows and hands.

 Kanaya and Terezi stood on the opposite side of the table. Kanaya’s dress, although nearly identical to the original was slightly more form fitting around the legs and had less strips on the inner parting. Her shawl was also considerably shorter.

 Terezi wore the uniform expected of a Neophyte with the execption of the red dressing around her legs. Instead, her teal coat continued to her thigh and no further. Her trousers were black, making her red boots notably brighter.

 Beside the two of them stood your matesprite, Tavros. He had made the starkest changes in your first adult years. His timid nature and tiny figure had been beaten out of him, replaced by a larger, stronger build and a more forward personality. You had not believed him the same person, but the more you spoke to him the more you noticed his speech impediment showing through clearer when he became embarrassed and you could hear the metal of his legs even with his boots on. He also wore the same clothing as his ancestor. He had only dyed the tips of his hair red as a dare you had made. His shoulders and hands bared the armour of cavalreaper. He still wore his arms bare, which showed all the muscles of his training with a lance, something you swooned over even though you would never admit it, not even to him. The most noticeable change in him was not that though. It was the huge brown wings that had grown from his back. Big enough to fly with and the only thing about himself he proud of, they were lax and folded against his back, making them appear like a cape.

 You walk up to him and he places his arm around you waist and drags you closer. You push against his chest to stop him, but you don’t really mind. He leans his head against your ear and you think he is about to kiss you but instead he whispers “Is it true? Have they found, uh, him?”

 “Guess.” You tease. He grins, those wild eyes bright with excitement. His hand relaxes and you are able to stand normally, although it doesn’t leave you. Soon it will be on your hip.

 “Now that everyone is here, I would like to discuss the results of the latest raid. The supplies we found are invaluable for the rebellion and the new recruits we have gained. Great work everyone!”

 “Is it true?” asked a teal blood from across the room “That they’ve found ‘im? That they’ve found the Sufferer’s descendant?”

 Feferi looked around the room. Word sure travelled fast on this vessel. There was a notable pause around the room before she spoke again “It is.”

 Talking erupted around the room. Everyone knew that the Sufferer’s heir was an important symbol to the rebellion, having him meant that the hemospectrum was put into question. He was a reminder of a time when hope ran as thickly through trolls as the quadrants.

 “Is it also true that he is a breeder, then?!” Captain Esourn Geelth shouted over everyone. The huge teal blood was well liked by those under him. He rivalled Tavros in height and had curling horns that flicked back over his head, a head-butt from him would skewer you. He was a tyrant that would have suited a higher hue of blood.

 Suddenly darkness flickered over most of the many eyes in the room. Oh dear…

 “Yes…” Feferi bowed her head.

 The chatter returned but this time it was filled with doubt rather than hope. You were going to lose this, damn that fucker!

 “Karkat is still a valuable, uh, weapon against the Empire.” Tavros spoke up “He will have inside knowledge and is a great tactician. He will be able to plan attacks for-“

 “Until that thing inside him take priority! There’s a reason we have a Mother Grub!” Geelth pointed at him. Agreement rose from the crowd.

 “Karkat isn’t like that!”

 “Oh really? From what I heard he is a quiet, meek, obedient shit and the highbloods ruled over him with an iron thumb!”

 “Get fucked, Geelth!” you snap. Tavros’ wings are fluttering beside you, there’s hardly any room for them in here.

 The room was divided between Geelth and Feferi. This guy was always trouble but now he was becoming a real petulance.

 Terezi licked her lips “And where did you hear such a statement my dear Captain? From the highbloods themselves?”

 Chuckles rang out.

 “The slaves told me.”

 “Slaves that will tell you anything so’s long as they are not hurt.” You sneer.

 “Why would they lie about that?”

 “To gain your trust. You’re good ear, not that you have either.” Nepeta hissed beside him. True enough, both of Esourn’s ears would cut to ribbons, as was the side of his face.

 “No! General, I cannot allow this! We need to focus on controlling our Main Weapon, not on some breeder who-!”

 “Arguing over me?”

 The room went silent. Everyone turned to the door. Karkat stood just outside the room, his hood pulled up. His red eyes glowed eerily in the light. He had a small, bemused smile on his face “I’ve had highbloods fight over me before, but it’s usually over my body, not my use in battle.”

 “Karkat! We-“

 “Were discussing tactics. Don’t let me interrupt you.”

 He didn’t enter the room and you wondered if he was afraid to. Tavros let his wings settling and you could practically feel the relief of those standing beside you.

 Feferi leaned on the table, clearly needing a good break from all this nonsense “As I was going to say, Karkat is a good leader but his main use actually lies elsewhere.”

 “Like keeping the soldiers sated?” Geelth sneered.

 “No, it just so happens that Karkat is our Main Weapon’s control centre.”

 Geelth turned his head to him sharply. Everyone looked at him amazed. You knew what they were all thinking: _how could a small mutant whore like him control such a monster?_

 Said mutant just laughed softly. He tilted his head to the side before saying without an ounce of surprise “I take it Gamzee’s sober then. What fuck possessed you to allow that to happen?”

 “Him?! He’s-“

 “Gamzee’s moirail. Yes.” Feferi smiled smugly at him.

 “I’ll believe that when I see it.” Geelth announced. He crossed his arms stubbornly as chorus’ of agreement rang out.

 “Where is he? I’ve missed that stupid fucked up clown face of his.” Karkat gleamed. Even after all he had been through he still had such strong pale feelings for Gamzee. It would be quite romantic if it wasn’t for the situation.

 “Kanaya, you still have the keys?”

 “Yes, I have them here.” Kanaya was nearly a head taller than you and she was extremely elegant as she pushed through the crowd and guided Karkat to Gamzee’s cell.

 It was a sorry state of affairs that had led to the indigo blood being locked up, but what could be said or done now. He was a danger. Making him go cold-gogglebeast was probably not the greatest decision they had made, but the Grand Highblood’s siege had been a desperate situation. Gamzee had practically torn everyone apart with his unnatural strength. The GHB had made a haste retreat when the tables had suddenly turned, of flipped if you were talking about his descendant.

 The cell was near the cargo bay, it was quiet, dark and damp down here. You hated it down here, reminded you of your own training in the Empire. Tavros stroked your arms. You nod, it’s a comforting gesture.

 Karkat stopped in front cell very suddenly. The entire room had followed him, curiosity being something that a troll seldom denied.

 “If it is too much…”

 “No! No… I’m fine.”

 Gamzee was a state to say the least. He sat slumped against the back of the cage where his arms, legs and neck where chained to the wall with reinforced links and cuffs. He hadn’t really been washed since the last time he was allowed free and killed three of his carers. Thank goodness Kanaya was a rainbow drinker, otherwise he might had gone on a rampage.

 His clothing hung loose on his lanky body and the smell in the air was stale and making a few of the more sensitive trolls gag. His hair was thick with dirt and grease, causing it to clump together and mat up against his horns. Those would prevent his from standing up to his full height in the cage. Not that he ever seemed to stand up straight. He was nearly the same height as the GHB now.

 “Gamzee… why is he being left like this?” Karkat’s voice sounded oddly thick. You realised that he probably emotional from the grub, this won’t help him.

 “It’s for our safety Karcrab.” Feferi explained quietly from behind him, slipping accidently back into her old fish puns. Trying to make him feel more comfortable you guess.

 Karkat walks towards the cage “Open it.”

 His voice is suddenly very firm. Very confident, as if he was the General here and not an old relocated friend. Kanaya nodded. She looked very unsurely at him as she did.

 Karkat nearly pushed past her on the way in. The group gather around the cage closer. You were pushed beside Kanaya, who looked at you in horror. She reached her hand under the top layer of her skirt for the hip flask of blood you know is there. Just in case you clutch the hilt of your sword.

 Geelth walked up beside you both and closes the cage door behind Karkat. The slamming of the metal door makes him flinch and you can see Gamzee stir in the dim light.

 “Hey Gamzee…” he’s speaking so softly. So tenderly.

 A grunt comes from Gamzee, who lifts his head just enough for you to catch a glimpse of his evil looking eyes, bright and yellow in the light.

 He kneels in front of his friend, reaches his hand out and gently touches the side of his face. Gamzee breaths heavily as he pulls against the chains with head. The group backs away instinctively. Karkat doesn’t flinch however.

 He lifts a large mangled hand and gently pulls back Karkat’s hood. His hair is thick and waving around his head like quackbeast fluff. However, there are gruesome scars along the back of his neck and from your angle a line of the scar runs along the side of his cheek and jaw. Claws made those marks, and recently too. Those scars were new.

 Gamzee sees them too because he presses his fingers against them softly and Karkat presses back, cupping his own hand against it.

 Slowly, Makara’s other hand reached up and pulled him into a hug.

 “Best friend…” his voice is rough, deep and nightmarish.

 “Best friend.” Karkat agrees. Karkat hugs Gamzee, avoiding his neck restraint. Gamzee’s eyes open abruptly.

 Oh no.

 Karkat pulls back and Gamzee looks at him with worrying intensity. If he attacks, Vantas won’t stand a chance. He moves his hand between the robes hiding Karkat’s condition. He touches his stomach.

 “Your sibling.”

 You barely heard that. It makes you feel sick to your stomach. It’s rare for a troll to have siblings. Yet it is not unheard of. It will probably become more common with breeders like Aradia and Karkat around.

 Gamzee growls “I’ll kill him. I’ll motherfuckin’ kill him!”

 “I know.”

 “I’ll murder that motherfuckin’ bastard. Murder the wicked shit out of him!”

 “I know.”

 The heavy breathing continues, even as he pulls Karkat into another hug, hands reaching around and possessively rubbing through his hair. After a minute, Karkat pulled away, smiling.

 “Give me the keys.”

  Kanaya lets the keys through the bars for Karkat to grab, which gave you a good chance to see his face fully. His eyes are bright red and his face more defined and adult like. He has a small amount of stubble on his chin and there are four more lines of scars on his other cheek. He has also lost his overbite.

 Karkat fumbles with keys, each cuff falling with a loud, ominous crash. Gamzee is slow and unsteady as he hunches over, his head tilted forward to mind his horns. Karkat hooks himself under his arm and supports him as he leaves.

 Geelth still stands by the door. As they reach the door, Gamzee reaches out to push it open, but Geelth refuses to let it move. He pushes the door back into its place. Gamzee smiles lazily at him, pushing the door harder. Almost instantly Geelth starts to strain against Gamzee’s single hand. Sweat broke out on his forehead. Gamzee continued to smile sweetly at him.

 With a sudden jerk, Geelth’s hand was forced back with the door. They exited the door. Karkat reached the keys over to Kanaya.

 “Where’s the ablution block? Gamzee needs a good soak.” Kanaya nodded. Terezi wrinkled her nose beside him. How Karkat was keeping his stomach down was something of a mystery. They walked away.

 “Everyone!” Feferi sounded very pleased with the outcome “Get back to your stations, we have new recruits to enlist!”

 The crowd of shocked faces moved along slowly. Geelth looked less than pleased. When would the fucker learn to listen?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, any spelling/grammar mistakes, please inform me. :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Really enjoying this story now. It will really start to kick off from here, but I might not have anything posted for a while because I need to formulate something before I start writing.  
> I am surprised at the amount of attention this is getting. Thanks everyone, sorry I might not have another chapter up for a while. I do however have something that would be a good theme song. [Imagine Dragons' Ready Aim Fire]() suit my idea for this story well.

Karkat

 To say that Gamzee was in a fucking state was a fucking understatement. He had not been washed in so long that the grease makeup he always wore had become like a thick layer of grim on his face. He was also nearly the same height as his ancestor. In fact, they looked startlingly alike, and you would be an outright liar if that didn’t unsettle you at all.

 Gamzee still held your hand like a wriggler though, and he kept looking at you with a goofy smile of his. He hadn’t changed in that regard.

 Kanaya rushed you into an ablution block and turned the taps up to full on the trap. She then looked at Gamzee before humming and leaving. Gamzee watches her leave and no sooner has the door closed does he pull you in for a hug so close you can’t breathe properly.

 “Fuck Gamzee! With grub! With grub!” he smells pretty badly, but it smells so much of Gamzee though you cannot help but be happy about it. He lessens his grip on you a little but doesn’t let go. He is able to stand up straight in this room but he still bends down until you can feel his breath against your ear.

 “Why did this up and happen to my palest brother?! Tell a brother what up and motherfuckin’ happened?”

 “You know how pailing works, Gamzee.”

 “But… why?!”

 “Because I’m a freak, that’s why.”

 He pulls away and looks at you for a while before whispering “I don’t think you’re no motherfuckin’ freak.”

 “I know.” You lift your two fingers for him to complete the diamond. He does and you smile at him. You still feel strongly about him, regardless of how much he resembles the Grand Highblood, you still see Gamzee Makara as your little pale charge. You have to protect him and keep him calm. He has to keep you sane. Two halves of the same quadrant.

 You pull away from him and unclip your robe before folding it and placing on a seat on the other side of the room. It’s surprisingly spacious in this room, with about four traps and a shower block across from you. It’s all very white and clinical, but you don’t mind. The trap is nearly full, so you stop the taps and turn to Gamzee, who has not moved.

 “You not fucking washing like that. Strip!”

 “I know but…” he shifts his gaze to the floor, as he rubs his raw wrists and shift his weight from foot to foot.

 “But?”

 “You know I wouldn’t hurt you and all, right? I wouldn’t motherfuckin’ up and harm you, right?!”

 “I would be horrified to think you would. Why?” your hands are instinctively on your hips. Your grub shifts inside you and you realise what he is worrying about. Guilt floods into you, you shouldn’t have told him about the grub sharing his blood. He didn’t need to know.

 And now look at him. He’s afraid that you might think he would do the same thing to you. He would never, and you wouldn’t think he was even capable. Not Gamzee, who is so gentle in nature, at least in that way.

 “It’s just that I look like him something bad and I don’t want my palebro to think I would up and hurt him something bad too.”

 You take his hand “You don’t look that much like him.” Which is a lie “And I know you won’t hurt me. After all, why would you? I would come back and haunt you for it.”

 You grin jokingly at him and he seems to relax. You still feel like shit though.

 He literally peels his clothes off, something that churns your stomach and you quickly undress yourself. He throws everything on the floor and nearly jumps in the bath. The water spills over the side and you can hear it slosh on the floor.

 With clothes neatly placed on the chair, you look at the box on the corner, which contains washing solutions and a couple of cleaning rags. You grab them and the wooden bowl beside them.

 Gamzee is already throwing water on his face and scrubbing at his skin with his hands to remove his makeup. You slip into the water behind him, letting the bottles float. You hand him a cleaning rag and start scrubbing his back.

 Kanaya is back in a few minutes later, followed closely by Tavros, who is nearly pushing past her with eagerness. He’s huge you realise. Did everyone grow but you?

 His wings are up and fluttering as he walks up to you both with a big grin. Gamzee smiles at him before going back to washing his arms. Things have defiantly changed. There was a time when you would have not been able to take his gaze away from the brown blood, now he seemed uninterested.

 “It’s really, uh, you.”

 “Yeah.” You look at the clumps up hair you are washing awkwardly because you really don’t feel all that comfortable with how much he is staring at you both, especially with that big grin.

 “I just, um, wow! My stutter’s come, um, back.” He laughs, scratching the back of his head.

 “Never realised it ever left.” You muse at him. His wings flutter again and you yank Gamzee’s horn, pulling his head away from the claw he is currently biting “I’ll cut those you filthy fucker.”

 “You wouldn’t, the cavalreapers really beat it out of me. I was actually pretty good when they finally got through to me about being insecure. Uh, I was actually one of their top cadets until Feferi recruited me.”

 “Same, only I was used as a fuck toy, rather than a rebel.” You maybe said that a little too matter-of-factly because almost instantly Tavros’ flinches in shock, Gamzee tenses and Kanaya looks up from the rolls of fabric she is currently cutting “Sorry.”

 “Don’t apologise Karkat!” Kanaya is suddenly next to you “You shouldn’t apologise for something that was forced on you.”

 You bow your head anyway. Gamzee reaches a suddy hand and rests it on your own. It’s comforting. You continue scrubbing him and soon you are done. You use the bowls to rinse him, and you scrub yourself quickly of the grim in the water.

 Gamzee jumps out of the trap and your stomach lurches as you see the ribs on him. He’s all skin and bone. You didn’t notice it before, or had chosen not to notice it. You press your hand to your stomach to calm it.

 “Gosh Gamzee… I’ll uh, go get some food, yeah?” Tavros scratches the back of his neck. He looks at you and you nod. He leaves.

 Gamzee grabs a towel and dries himself before wrapping it around his shoulders. Kanaya walks up to him, lifts his arm before humming and straightening his leg out. She hums again before turning back to bench and looking at the fabric. You forgot how zoned out she go when she was concentrating on a project.

 “Kanaya?” you’re almost afraid to interrupt her “Can I use your scissors?”

 She looks up, as if she had forgotten that you were there “Oh yes.” She takes a pair out of her sash and throws them over to you. You reach up to catch and Gamzee catches them for you. You huff as he chuckles deviously at you.

 They’re a bit big and stiff for your hands and you struggle to hold them as you trim Gamzee’s hair. You brush your fingers through it the best you can, but some parts are so clumped together that you have no choice but to cut them away.

 You have just managed to cut it back to about the length it once was as it dries and sticks up on end again. You rest your head between his horns and sigh tiredly as Kanaya walks over with a pair of trousers for Gamzee to wear for now.

 He stands and puts them on. Kanaya looks satisfied to see that they fit well enough before looking over to you and frowning “Oh Karkat! I didn’t realise that you wanted a change in clothes as well.”

 “I didn’t.” you cock a brow at her before looking down. You didn’t dress. You blush instead. You stand and quickly start dressing, muttering apologises as you do.

 “Don’t worry, I just thought you might not want to wear those anymore now that you’re free.”

 “No no. I don’t mind wearing them. I’m so used to be naked or not having clothes that I forget to dress sometimes.” You stumble over your words badly. You can feel your ears burning and instinctively wrap your arms around your stomach.

 She nods in understanding “It must be hard. I can’t even imagine what it was like.”

 “Trust me on this one, you don’t want to.”

 She looks down, guilt on her face. You don’t want her to feel guilt over you. She didn’t do anything wrong. You walk up to her and place your hands on her shoulders. She lifts her head, because damn if she isn’t taller than you by a good inch or two, and smiles. Suddenly a hand is touching your stomach.

 “Do you know what colour it will be?” you look down at it. You haven’t thought of that. You’re afraid to think that much ahead.

 “Only three colours it could come out as. Red, lime or indigo. Two of those would be from my genetics anyway.”

 “You know who the… _donor_ is then?”

 “Yeah, when word spread about my blood colour, I was kept especially for him.”

 “Who?”

 “The Grand Highblood.”

 Gamzee is suddenly right behind you. You look up at him, he takes you hand gently and strokes it.

 “I’m so sorry Karkat, I didn’t realise. It makes sense now that you point it out but-“

 “But fucking nothing. Quit apologising.”

 “I imagine it wasn’t pleasant.”

 “No, not really. By the time he arrived, I was at the height of my heat. For some reason, the highbloods convinced themselves that to get me pregnant, they have to fuck me repeatedly at the height of my heat and not let the genetic material drain for hours. It was like I hadn’t conceived before, I guess they wanted to do it for their sick enjoyment.”

 “It must have hurt.”

 “Akin to being torn in two.” You don’t mean to let that last one out. Gamzee is shaking now and you start to do the same. He growls and you bring his large hand down to cover your stomach, where your little grub is still growing “It’s all mine, Gamzee. He’s not a part of it.”

 “But-“

 “No. It’s mine and mine alone. I don’t care what colour it comes out as, it’s still fucking mine.” This seems to satisfy him to some degree. He stops shaking at least. Kanaya’s hand settles on top of it.

 “What are you going to do once it is born?”

 “I don’t know. I was thinking to bring it back to Alternia, but the further along I get the more I want to keep it.”

 “I see… Karkat, I hope you don’t mind me meddling, but wouldn’t it be better if you did bring it back to Alternia. Maybe you could smuggle it into the caverns and let it be found by a lusus, it would be safer for it.”

 “I know…” you try not to sound too heartbroken as you say it. You press your other hand on top of Kanaya’s “Gosh, not even born yet and you’re already so cared for.”

 Kanaya laughs and you can feel the weight of Gamzee’s head between your horns. Tavros takes this opportunity to bring a tray of food for your moirail to eat and a set of keys. His wings flutter slightly and Vriska appears under one of them with two glasses and a pitcher of juice in her hands.

 She chuckles “Nice to know you’ve gotten some bodyguards assigned already Karkat. You’re gonna need them.”

 “Go fuck yourself on one of his horns Vriska.”

 “Nice idea.” She looks at Tavros deviously and he’s cheeks are brown with embarrassment.

 “No! I, uh brought some food. And, um a room.” He lifts the keys. You walk over and take them. Gamzee is already reaching for the food. Tavros pulls the tray away and you follow him to your assigned room.

 It’s perfect for what you need. It has two simple recuperacoon on one end of the room and a desk lining the other with drawers underneath for clothes.

 “It’s a bit small but it’s should be comfortable enough.”

 “It’s all up and motherfuckin’ fine Tavbro.” Gamzee drawls, taking the tray out of his hand and sitting on the floor as he begins to eat. You smile at him and accept the juice from Vriska.

 “Our room is up the hall, uh, just call if you need anything.”

 “That doesn’t mean barging in now Gamzee.”

 “I never did barge in on any brothers and sisters and saying so would be a dirty lie!” he doesn’t move his head from his food.

 “Thanks for this.”

 “Don’t worry about it. Just keep him calm is all we ask.”

 “Got it. Thanks again.”

 “Take care.” Tavros waves as Vriska ushers him out. You close the door and lock it behind them. You place the keys on the desk. Take a good glass of the juice, which is sweet and fresh on your tongue, and start to strip again.

 When was the last time you had slept in a recuperacoon? Goodness knows. This will probably be the best night sleep you and Gamzee have had to a while. You gently brush his head as you pass and slip into the soper, which feels wonderful.

 “Sleep well.” Gamzee whispers.

 “Sleep well…” you reply sleepily. And you do.


	4. Chapter 4

Feferi

 The next evening, you wake from your recuperacoon and look over at Sollux. He’s still submerged. His horns stick out of the sopor. You dunk under one last time before emerging. You are nowhere near graceful as you do either because there is not point. No one will likely see you like this anyway.

 Sollux flinches within the slime and you look at him before smiling. His head slowly appears over the lip of the recuperacoon and he blinks sleepily at you before yawning.

 “Too early…” he drawls before slipping under.

 “Nope. Not too early.” You slip you hand into the slime, grab him under the arm and pull him out “You’re the one who wanted to speak to that helmsman.”

 “Don’t make me regret that dethithion.” He moans at you before slipping halfway out of the slime and onto the edge of the recuperacoon. You shake your head and go to clean yourself off. When you’re about halfway through, he finally comes in looks exhausted. He kisses you before starting to clean himself.

 It’s about twenty minutes later that you are both ready. You wonder as you walk down to the medical room the helmsman be is being held in if he is hungry in anyway. Or if he can even cope with food any more.

 “Why did you want to get up so early to see him again?”

 “Becauthe, I don’t Geelth to thart interrogating him until he ith unwilling to help, that’th why. You know what he’th like. He’d have him beaten half to death to get the answer he wanth, even if that is not the right answer, if he wath allowed.”

 “I know, but he’s a good fighter and tactician, even if he’s a glubbing stone fish.”

 “I know, I know.” He rubs the back of his neck and you wave the guards at the door to ease themselves when you walk into sight. Sometimes you wish they were a little more relaxed.

 The helmsman is lying on a bed without any tubes and wires to monitor him. It looks like they had some in him, but they have been pulled out since. Yellow blood gathers around the ends on the floor. He’s exhausted and looks ready for death.

 You don’t blame him for it either.

 Without his eye mask, you can see the yellow bruises around his eyes. Little, fine scars criss-cross along the skin around his eyes. He’s disgustingly thin, with gaunt cheeks and loose skin. He is also wrinkled with age. It was rare for a troll to appear physically aged this much, but he certainly did look aged.

 He had been changed into a plain cream medical suit. His symbol was drawn on the document at the end of the bed, and you think that maybe Sollux had a slightly different reason for wanting to talk to this troll so soon. The symbol of Gemini. The Captor symbol.

 You gasped when you looked at him and quickly averted your eyes to look straight at Gamzee, who was sat leaning against the wall. It’s only when you see him that you notice that Karkat is also in the room, with a bowl of blended food in his hand.

 “Good evening.” He was a lot more cheery sounding and it looked like both he and Gamzee had had a good day sleep. Gamzee looked a lot healthier than before. His face didn’t have the makeup you were used to and it made him seem different somehow.

 Karkat had removed the cloak and was gently feeding the psiioniic with a spoon.

 “Good evening to you too. Why are you up tho early? I would have thought you’d wanted to thleep in.”

 “That was the plan until my grub decided to roll onto my bladder. And this one” he pointed to Gamzee “was too excited to rest any longer.”

 Gamzee snorted “I was all lock up in a motherfuckin’ cage now. Give a brother a break!”

 “Only if you sleep a little longer.” He lifted his spoon to the helmsman’s lips. He opened his mouth and let out a startling cough. It was a horrible sound, reminding you of a clogged pipe.

 “Take it easy Mituna.” Karkat shifts himself on his seat, putting one of his feet up and leaning forward a little. Mituna, as Karkat called him, nodded weakly. He was awake at least, and aware of himself as well.

 You hear Sollux swallow beside you “You and I theem to thare a thign.”

 “That we do, wriggler.” His voice is surprisingly clear, if weak. It’s deep with age but has a nice tune to it that relaxes you “I am Mituna Captor. And I already know your name.”

 “Mituna… Mituna, how old are you?” well just be blunt about it Sollux.

 “About 780 thweepth now. Although I may have lotht track of time in my captivity. There are very few I onthe knew that thtill remainth.”

 “That’s impossible.” You look at Sollux, who looks like he’s about to go on a rant. That or throw up.

 Karkat stirs the food absentmindedly. It seems like he’s heard this story before and that it brings back bad memories. Gamzee walks up behind him and hugs his shoulders. He places a hand on his moirail’s arms and leans his head to the side for Gamzee to nuzzle him.

 “Not with the Empreth’th touch. No. There ith very little that ith impothible. For many thweepth, I believed that my fight along thide Kankri was worth nothing, yet look at you. Look at you all, fighting to defeat the hemosthectrum. To dethtroy thomething I wath beginning to think wath impothible to dethtory.”

 He reaches to Karkat with a bony hand and gently pats his knee “Thith one thought they would dethtory him. That they would break him and he would never be free again. I felt the thame onthe, yet we’re here. And that monthtrothity is panicking.”

 “I don’t think the Condese will be panicking quite yet-“

 “Oh but the is. I am her helmthman. Her motht powerful tool and yet the hid me. I thould be running her flagthip, yet the thmuggled me away to a cargothip, along thide Karkat, to thtop you from getting uth.”

 “Why Karkat?”

 “Because I used to walk freely around the ship. I was exploring one night and I came across the helmscell. That’s how I know Mituna, he told me about everything.”

 “Everything?”

 “Everything. About the Signless, Kankri, and his followers. About his beliefs and his visions. About Beforeus and the other selves he had seen. Everything. Imagine it! A world without the hemospectrum, without culling for the hell of culling. No fear, no war, no pain.”

 Gamzee looked down at Karkat before patting his head gently “It sounds a damn sight better than this one.”

 “Karkat ith a thign of hope. If he were to be killed, many would loth the will to fight. Many of thothe thlaveth thtill follow Kankri’s teachingth. They thtill believe Alternia can be a better plathe. They want to beat the thythtem. They want to live.”

 He was… he was the Psiioniic of legend, one of the Signless’ inner circle. They were real. Reelly real. Not a hopeful myth made by dreaming warmbloods who wanted freedom, but a real tale of real trolls.

 Sollux looked at his friend his disbelief and you take his hand. He looks fit to faint, you feel the same. It was real. Karkat leaned forward with the spoon again, coaxing it into Mituna’s mouth. You bow your head and Sollux does the same. It is silent as the mutant feeds him. Soon exhaustion takes over and he is asleep. He and Sollux look remarkably similar and you cannot help but feel your pusher strings being pulled.

 Karkat stands and everyone leaves.

 Outside, the guards look a little bit spooked by Gamzee, who stands to his full height. You turn to Karkat “You’ve spoken to him a lot, haven’t you?”

 “Yes, he was probably the only one who kept me sane whilst I was still a slave. I used to talk to him when I was struggling. He would tell me about how they once lived, what they were like, even down to mundane things.” He is about to say something else when you hear a gurgle from behind him. He frowns and turns to Gamzee, who just smiles at him.

 “Can’t blame a brother for being hungry.”

 “Can’t blame a brother for anything if you had your way. You stupid fucking idiot, go and get something to eat.”

 “Only if you are a’comin’ with me!”

 “Fine…” comes the sigh. He turns to you exasperatedly “Do you mind if we continue this whilst eating?”

 “It’ll be fine KK.”

 You turn to the guards “No one is to enter without my permission.”

 The messhall is already full when you get there. The rows upon rows of trolls makes the room loud and feel smaller than it actually is. The plain cream walls rose high and on a raised platform was the high table. On it was your generals and the Ten Descendants. Twelve now.

 Captain Martal Coulul is sat beside Eridan, boring him senseless by the look on his face. Aradia stands and waves at you as you come up the steps to the table. Tavros does the same, as does Nepeta, a little more vigorously than the others.

 At the end of the table were two places that had been unoccupied for so long. Now they would be filled. You don’t make it to the table when Neputa runs and practically tackles Karkat. Tavros stands, his wings open and fluttering happily.

 Little Nepeta only comes to Karkat’s shoulder and her long thick hair has been tied up for training “Karkitty! I haven’t seen you in so long, I can’t believe you’re here.”

 “I can tell. Fuck, Nepeta, what have they been feeding you? I think Equius might be jealous of those muscles.”

 “Why thank you!” Equius is sat the table, rubbing his neck with a towel, hair also tied back. He shakes his head lightly. You walk to your seat, eager to get something to eat. Gamzee laughs loudly. It isn’t a pleasant sound, raspy and metallic; it could easily be mistaken for something nasty. Yet it also sounds so nice to hear it again.

 “Come! You must sit, the food is purrfect.” The little oliveblood drags her redblooded friend to the chairs. She is sat right at the end, and promptly sits Karkat right next to her. Gamzee practically falls into his chair and you thank the builders of the ship that they reinforced the furniture.

 Geelth is sat right at the end of the table, looking sourly. You feel a flicker of satisfaction at that and turn to Eridan who looks fit to punch someone.

 Martal is a burgundy blood with the gift of the gab if ever there was a troll with it. He was a happy slip of a troll with diamond shaped horns. He didn’t seem like the type that could lead anyone, but he had shocked you all with his knowledge of weapons and ship design. He could map out any vessel by looking at it and could tell you where best to get it.

 “So I told him it’s only adultery if it’s not an ashen bucket. Then everyone thought I was funny-“

 “It w-wasn’t funny.” His accent sounded more like a stutter this evening.

 “Good evening Eridan, how’d you sleep?”

 “I didn’t.” you expected that.

 “Reelly? Why?”

 “I don’t w-want to talk ‘bout it.” That you didn’t expect. You notice him looking at Karkat before look away sadly.

 That narrowed it down.

 “What’th the matter, finfathe? Thomething up your nook?”

 He gets Eridan’s middle finger as a response. You sigh. You don’t want to deal with this right now. You want your breakfast and you want to start organising this cargo and slaves. Sollux looks at him for a while before look at the food coming your way.

 Okay then…

 The olive blood was about to present the trolley of food to you both when you motioned for him to stop. You point to your two newest members and they turn the trolley around and offers food to them.

 Soon enough everyone is eating. Terezi walks into mess hall and Kanaya is following. Terezi walks straight up to Karkat. Kanaya walks past them, whispering to Gamzee about something. You assume it is about the clothes she is making for him. You would prefer he had a shirt on sooner, rather than later.

 “I wanted to apologize about the way I spoke to you yesterday.” Terezi addresses Karkat clearly, as if she is addressing a jury “It was rash and cruel of me.”

 “It’s fine. I’m kinda used to it by now.” He says things a little too bluntly now. You can tell that he is telling the plain true. It’s painful to hear.

 “I suppose, but you shouldn’t be hearing it from friends. I’m glad we’ve found you again. It’ll be fun to work together again.”

 “Sure. Just don’t be expecting some flurry of threshecutioner shit from me any time soon.” He laughs. A breathy laugh. Did you ever hear him laugh before? You don’t even remember.

 Terezi then walks to you. She’s staunch, upright, as she does “I cannot seem to get through to the refugees. They will name themselves, their blood and title, but that’s it. They won’t say any more than that. I have tried everything, but they are too afraid. I think maybe we should leave them for a few days before we try again.”

 “Maybe you should consider interrogating them then. That’s what your good at Neophyte.” Hissed Coeyac Trugwu. He was the Chief Starvigator and a general ass. It was probably a good thing that him and Geelth didn’t get along.

 Terezi snarled at him before turning back to you “Why is he still here?”

 You ignore her question “I’ll talk to the refugees. They are probably so used to being promised lies that they will find it hard to believe the truth.”

 “I can talk to them.” You hear from across the table. Karkat is leaning over the table. He isn’t using the utensils, neither is Gamzee, and his fingers are slick with grease “I already know some of the slaves. They will be more likely to listen to me.”

 “Yeah, I’m sure they will.” You hear Coeyac snide across the room. You frown at him.

 “That sounds like a fintastic idea Karkrab. Do you mind talking to them tonight?”

 “I don’t mind.”

 “I’m sure you don’t.” Geelth muttered.

 “What?” Karkat leaned forward even more. Geelth straightened himself and crossed his arms.

 “I bet they all like you, especially after you’ve striped your clothes.” Coeyac chuckled. You could practically feel Gamzee’s glare. Were they trying to set him off?

 “Excuse me?” You gasp, horrified. Why would they say that? You look at Karkat, expecting him to be snarling at them, expecting him to rant and rage at them. But he was staring at his plate with a blank expression on his face.

 “Go one, heir of the Sufferer. Tell us, did they hear you screaming for more on the other side of the ship?” Geelth laughed.

 All eleven of you moved. Only Gamzee got to stand by the time Karkat had stood and marched to Geelth, grabbing the Ahab’s Crosshairs as he passed Eridan. He then shoved the weapon into the larger trolls open mouth.

 “Let me tell you and rest of these shit eating fuckers a few things about me.” His voice was rough he was gritting it through his teeth so hard. The room had become silent at the display “I do not beg, not for anything. You don’t have a clue about half the things I’ve been through, so you don’t comment on them. Lastly, I am far from helpless. I don’t need Gamzee to put you in your place.”

 No one spoke. No one moved. No one glubbing breathed.

 Gamzee was the first to break the stillness of the room. He walked calmly over to Karkat and placed his hand on his shoulder “He ain’t motherfuckin’ worth shit bro. No need to spread his wicked elixir anywhere!”

 It took a few seconds for Karkat to reply “I know…”

 He pulled the weapon back from Geelth’s mouth. The teal blood coughed before glaring at his attacker wildly. The mutant handed Eridan his rifle back before sitting back down in his place and continuing his meal.

 Gamzee sat down next to him and placed his hand on his head. No sooner did the appendage touch Karkat’s hair did the smaller troll abruptly stand and walk out. The room watched him as he left.

 Gamzee looked shocked “A brother better go after him.” He said politely before standing himself and leaving.

 The rest of the evening meal was eaten in silence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look who got some spare time. I have a few ideas for the next several chapters.  
> As always, any spelling or grammar mistakes, please inform me, thanks!


	5. Chapter 5

Terezi

 You escort Karkat, and by extension Gamzee, to the holding bay. Many of the refugees will remain down here until they are delivered to HQ. It is the best you can manage. That last freighter was just full of slaves and supplies. Most were low bloods in every sense of the word, many had not seen good treatment since their ascension day. You would not be surprised if many of them had been abused even before then.

 You feel sick at the comments coming from Karkat. They’re whispering but you can hear them clearly enough. It disgusts you how Gamzee can touch Karkat so gently and lovingly when he could so easily rip off a head or two. It disgusts you how much they sound like you and Thoule once not so long ago.

 No! Don’t think like that! You hear Gamzee chuckle.

 You don’t trust him. Once, when you were both in the Empire, you had your nub on Gamzee being your kissmesis. That probably won’t happen now. Karkat calmed or completely removed all the traits you liked in him as a kissmesis.

 The smaller troll behind you giggled loudly, a harsh chirping noise. Gamzee honks back, a big grin on his face. You snort and you can smell the look of distain on the clown’s face.

 “What is it Terezita?”

 “Don’t call me that. This place is full of slaves, show some fucking respect you two.”

 Karkat closes his arm and you can feel his red eyes on you “I know a lot of these slaves, Terezi. Many of them were the only ones who treated me like I was a troll and not a plaything. I know them.”

 “It’s still unfair to flaunt your happiness when they are probably miserable.”

 “Don’t take about fucking misery to me. I’ve had my own fair sharing of fucking misery. Unfair is not being able to celebrate the first bit of happiness I’ve had a while.”

 “Are you going to be this much hard work until we get to HQ or are you going to actually behave for once?”

 “He ain’t going to HQ! He’s staying with me, motherfucker.” Gamzee places an arm on his moirail’s shoulder.

 “So much for that apology Terezi. When did you turn into such a fucking bitch? Geez, remember when you said you would never be like Vriska, well you’re sounding an awful lot like her.”

 “Fuck you! What you think that having the blood in you makes you special and having that grub makes you safe? I know a good many courts that would have had you publically culled for your traitorous existence, be thankful that you were made a whore instead.”

 He stops at that. You’ve crossed a line, oh no, you’ve crossed a line. Gamzee steps towards you but he stops, Karkat is holding him back.

 “You say that like I had a choice in any of this. Like I chose to born with red blood, like I chose to be born a breeder, like I chose to be a whore, like I chose to conceive a grub. I didn’t. I didn’t chose… I… Fuck! What happened to the old Terezi? You know, the one who would have licked my cheek my some retarded barkbeast to find out my shitty blood out and might have fucking squealed in delight that it was her favourite fucking colour. What happened to her?”

 “She grew up. What happen to you?”

 He paused before answering quietly “I was made a whore.”

 You bow your head. You’re sorry, but the words don’t come out. You don’t mean to take out your anger on Karkat, that anger should be focused on Thoule, but you cannot think about that right now! You turn and walk on.

 The holding bay is an oversized slate grey room with trolls sitting on almost every inch of flooring. There are some areas that work as pathways that are clear of trolls but everyone is otherwise crammed into the vast room. It stank of unwashed bodies and unclean clothes but it was full of cheerful chatter.

 Many of the closer trolls shied away from you and you couldn’t blame them for that, the abuse many of these prisoners were subjected to would have made it difficult for them to trust any highbloods. Suddenly one of the slaves stood and smiled at Karkat.

 “Karkat! Karkat, you’re alright! My goodness, you’re alright!” he had a slight slur to his words. A burgundy blood with thick coiled horns. His bony limbs shook at his wander over to Karkat and held his hands “I haven’t seen you in nearly a sweep! Look at you, you look so much happier than you were!”

 “Wait, that’s Karkat?” asked a young male troll with black eyes. His greasy hair fell in front of his eyes as a female troll helped him stand. They both clung to each other as if they were as blind as each other, though her brown eyes were bright and chocolate from where you stood.

 “Glemin! Toolar and Yayala, I’m glad to see you all alright.” You can smell the fondness off Karkat. The blind troll reaches out to Karkat and gently strokes his face. His fingers catch the scars, and he hiccups. The tears that run down his face are the same mustard as his blood.

 “I’m so sorry, I saw it coming but I didn’t warn you. I could have warned you.” He sobbed.

 “Toolar… Look, hey, I’m fine. If nothing else I’m used to it. Don’t worry about me, I wasn’t the only one they used, remember.” Toolar nodded.

 The female troll touched his scars “You got those from ‘im?” she sounded dim, as if she couldn’t quite speak properly.

 “Yeah…”

 “Oh my. Will you be f’ne? They look painf’l.”

 “They healed a little while ago, I wouldn’t worry about them.”

 “Are these your motherfuckin’ friends bro?!” Gamzee asks and you wrinkle your nose.

 “Yeah. Gamzee, this is Glemin.” He gestured to the burgundy blood “He helped me when I was first made to pail with the highbloods. He cleaned me up and gave me clothes. He fed me. I owe him so much.

 “And this is Toolar and Yayala. Toolar was a psiioniic like Sollux but was made to power a small vessel. It drained him of his powers, but he can still has vision two-fold, even though he’s blind. Yayala is his moirail. She’s a really good cook.”

 You sniff the air. Yayala has a harsh face with small scars running down her arms and legs. Toolar has scars running over his arms, hand, legs and feet. He also has burns around his eyes from his psiioniics. He has a delicate face though with soft, fine features.

 Glemin is all bony and skin, with wrinkles around his eyes, nose and mouth. Much of his hair is missing and he rasp to his breath that tells of lung problems. He shook violently as he stood. You wondered how much longer he had.

 “At least you and your moirail are together again. I can’t see all that much into the future anymore, but I do know that you’ll be needing him. I can also tell you that half of this room at least will join your cause.”

 “Half? They didn’t seem to eager earlier.” You say.

 “They’re sca’ed this is a t’ap.” Yayala explained. You nod.

 “I understand that, but they also have to understand that I stand for justice and that we can bring them justice.”

 “Don’t go up and thinking that they will see your justice as something that will up and help them, Terezita. They only know justice as what the highbloods taught them! Lowbloods are culled. Highbloods get the honor of doing the wicked deed! What they need is a bitchtits of a overhaul to that there system.”

 “’ _An_ overhaul’.”

 “What the motherfuck ever!”

 You hated to say it, but it was true. These slaves didn’t know anything but culling. It was a cruel fate that you intend to stop no matter how hard it is or how long it takes. The air was thick with tension as you smell the amount of trolls who have turned to look at you. You only notice now that they are whispering.

_-im._ _It’s him. It’s him-_

_The Signless Sufferer’s heir has come-_

_He will free us-_

_Deliver us-_

 They trusted the image of the Signless in Karkat more than they trusted Feferi’s rebellion or your justice. It didn’t make sense, they trusted a falsehood more than reality. A fable. A story.

 Yet as you smell Karkat kneel for the outreached hands, taking them in his own and talking to their owners, holding their faces, hugging them, you cannot help but notice a change in him. His body language was so mature and calm, so un-Karkat-like that you feel like you’re almost sniffing another person.

 A troll about your age with thick sharp horns and sharp green eyes stands. He is strongly built and defiant with his stance. Gamzee stiffens beside you as he watches the troll practically match up to Karkat.

 “Signless heir!” he waits as Karkat stands “I will fight in your rebellion!”

 Karkat doesn’t seem to know how to deal with that because suddenly he flinches back as the troll grabs him about the shoulders “If that is what you want.”

 “I’ll fight too!”

 “Me too!”

 “I can’t fight but I know how they build their sentry guns!”

 “I worked on the newer battleships until my accident!”

 Hundreds of voices rose, all either agreeing to fight or to help in another way. Not a single one of them did not offer something useful to the cause. Fighters, builders, wielders, blacksmiths, navigators, mechanics, doctors, electricians, seamstresses, cooks, fucking psychics! All of them offered something, even those who were not willing to fight in some way or another. Some of them were frightened, many of them determined, angry, hell bent on revenge. All full of hope.

 The offers soon turned into something more, chanting. It was a roaring noise, incoherent at first but it became clearer. Slowly the roar became a chorus.

 End the Empire! End the Empire! End the Empire!

 Once you would have been sickened by such uproar, but now they are like sweet music. They believe the same as you. And they want to fight alongside you.

 The next few hours consist of you organising the trolls into lines and makes them sign their names into different jobs. The amount of ones willing to fight, despite being low bloods with no training and apparently being unable to fight at all, is astonishing. Every now and then the odd troll with wave and talk to Karkat. You’re tired when it’s all done. Thankfully food will be served soon and you can disappear back to your respiteblock.

 Wait…

 Scratch that idea. You would go to your office and look over some files that needed tending to.

 Just before you leave to do so, you can smell Karkat watching you. There is a sense of fondness on his face, he’s smiling wearily. Gamzee is talking to him about something and you walk away without turning to him.

 You grab food from one of the many canteens before you held back to your office. It was a shared office between you, six other legislacerators and Vriska, who mostly hung around to annoy you and the other legal officers. The room was an extreme mess with papers stacked high and coffee stains splattered across the desk, walls and floors. Hell, you could smell some of it on the ceiling but you ignored it to the best of your ability.

 Your desk is mostly clear with just some pens, a notebook and husktop on its neat surface, no one touched your desk lest they lose a few fingers. Your nub gently presses against the cool surface and you breathe in the worn down wood. The smell sooths you.

 “How long are you going to keep hiding in here?” Vriska says from the door.

 “None of your business Marquise.” You take one of the notebooks and start jotting down some notes of things you need to do in the near future, starting with getting a new room.

 “Still on that old ploy, Neophyte? Or are you just avoiding the point?” she walks over, pulls her chair up from the cluttered desk in front and sits in front of you.

 “No, just reminding you to keep your nub out.”

 “Does Karkat being pregnant really upset you that much, because I can tell he’s still flushed for you. And I bet my real arm that you are a tinsy bit flushed for him still, so spill Terezi, what’s making you avoid your own respiteblock?” she leans on your desk and you brush her hands away briskly.

 “It’s not that grub he’s carrying. I don’t give a shit about that. And no, I don’t feel flushed for him anymore. I deny any reason for you to think that.”

 “Nice comeback, way to give yourself away. It’s not like you to be so avoiding of matters like this Terezi. I know you, better than more, can’t you talk to me?”

 “To put it bluntly: no. Just leave me alone, Vriska.”

 Vriska purses her lips. She then abruptly stands “Well at least I tried. We’re worried about you Terezi, you know your friends, the ones you actually care about and respect you. I just want you to know, Karkat didn’t hurt you and he doesn’t deserve your anger. You shouldn’t take it out on him.”

 She makes it to the door and you almost let her leave, but you just can’t “I don’t mean to be angry at him… it’s just that he looks so much like Thoule, but I can’t face Thoule right now, so it’s easier to take it out on Karkat. They’re so much alike, except their not anymore. Karkat isn’t the angry, vulgar firecracker he once was. He’s calmed, matured, he’s silently confident and I can feel the nurturing love radiating off him. It’s not right, it’s not him. I just can’t cope with it all at once…”

 You bow your head shamefully. When was the last time your cried? Goodness knows, too long. Vriska presses a hand against your shoulder and you sob loudly.

 “Go sleep in my respiteblock. I’ll wake you up later, get some rest.”

 You do, and you sleep well surprisingly enough. When you are finally woken up you go back to your own respiteblock. Thoule isn’t there but there is a note on the door, crudely written in black ink, all capitals and it tastes so familiar you almost cry again.

 ‘GET THE FUCK OUT OF TEREZI’S LIFE OR I’LL GUT YOU BUCKETWHORE.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the wait. I will hopefully be updating steadily now that I have some ideas going.
> 
> As always, any mistakes and R&R, thanks!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait!  
> I was struggling with righting this chapter, war scenes are a lot more difficult to right that I thought, I must have rewritten this about six to seven times before I finally felt satisfied with it. I initially wanted the battle to be set in trenches but changed that to space, which I then change to a barracks after one fucking page because it was too early in the story for space battles to happen. Anyway, after a lot of reading, research and documentaries, I have finally written a chapter that I can present.  
> I would also like to point out that I now have a tumblr. You can see updates and the like [here.](http://spicypepperao3.tumblr.com/) Thanks.

Eridan

 The next few nights are blurred into one another. They consist of landing back at HQ, getting everything and everyone offloaded onto the planet fortress. The system was neighbouring your home planet’s and it was a downside uglier. The sky was an ugly creamy colour and the ground was a yellow-brown. It reminded you too much of Sollux and the cheeky shit had made a point of jokingly saying that it “mutht be my planet becauthe thith yellow ith jutht my colour.”

 You had shoved him for that and he had swung a punch at you. Later, when you had a little more peace, you had repaid the favour by sinking your teeth into his shoulder and you bucked into him. He tasted horrible as well.

 You had bumped into Karkat a total of three times. Each time you had practically run from him. You weren’t afraid. It wasn’t that. You just didn’t like being around the little shit, and he always seems so calm and relaxed. He seems so resigned to being a breeder. So used to the idea. _That_ freaks you out to no end.

 It probably doesn’t help that Gamzee is practically his shadow now as well. _That_ troll does scare you and any other sane ass troll who wasn’t lying. You feel sick at the thought of it. At the thought of what he did.

  _The scream is horrifying, blood gargling through it._

_The ripping of flesh is just as bad, as clear and loud and real._

_The laugh is a breathy honking noise._

 You try to keep you stomach down as the ship comes down through the atmosphere. Nobody had had the chance to settle when the word came through that Empire vessels had been spotted going planet side in another neighbour solar system. Now you were crammed with about 50 odd armed fighters. You were the highest caste there and fuck if that didn’t make you feel good.

 The shuttle starts to shake as it starts to break through the atmosphere. As it does, the air lock door to the pilot compartment opens with a hiss and the fuck up of a mustard blood that is focus of your black affections. The door shuts and he stumbles up to the seat beside you, using the overhead railing to steady himself. You smirk, enjoying his grace being stripped from him, as he sits down.

 He snorts “We could without thith thit.”

 “W-well, w-we’re fuckin’ stuck w-with it. Better get rid of ‘em now-w than hawe to deal w-with ‘em later if you ask me. Anyw-way, I fancy shootin’ some highbloods up and don’t fuckin’ w-worry, I changed my scarf, they w-won’t shoot me this time.” You touch the scarlet scarf around your neck. You don’t particularly suit the colour, but you are fine about wearing it if it saves you from having metal slugs pumped into your ass by your fellow soldiers.

 Especially if some of them would use any old excuse.

 One particularly hard shudder of the craft has you grabbing at the support bar above your head. You notice that several others have done the same.

 “Fuck, is there a storm out there or somethin’?”

 “I forgot, you don’t like re-entering atmothphereth, do you?” you grit your fangs at him. He just smirks at you, but you can see the tension in his shoulder. Not as tough as he thinks he is.

 The sound of the ship going planet side is low and you can hear the scream of wind roaring past. The ship actually sways and you can feel you pusher flutter. Not a nice feeling, you prefer to be on land or in water, not in the fucking air basically controlled falling towards the ground.

 The shuttering stops and the ride smooth’s out as it gets low. You can still hear the wind as the engines start to growl and the breaks are applied. You unconsciously grip the bar tighter. There is a base on this planet but it has been empty for a while, neutral ground since the Empire retreated. The rebellion wasn’t large enough yet for it to be occupied.

 The ship started to shutter as it slowed down and came in to land. You hold your breath as the craft touches down. The hull rattles violently as the breaks are applied. Everyone lurches to the side as you come to a stop. You let your breath out, feeling you gills glub loudly. Thankful it’s too loud for anyone to notice.

 The vessel stops and you lean your head back thankfully. The door unlocks again and Mavrik comes through. Tarlos Mavrik was a tiny troll with two hooked horns on his head. He was a chocolate blooded mute with streaks of blonde in his hair. He has a serious look on his face. He goes to the door, as everyone starts unbuckling, and starts decompressing the craft before opening.

 It’s very still outside the door and quiet, deathly quiet. You can almost feel the atmosphere tense as you step down. Fuck if this doesn’t like a trap, but it cannot be helped.

 Sollux stepped down from the vessel. He stands in front of the gathering troops with you beside him. The last troops poured out and Mavrik and the other pilot, Tomlet Ravtel, stood by the door. They were silent as Sollux spoke.

 “Okay, we all know the drill. Get in, clear the plathe out, get out. Mavrik, Ravtel, I want you to monitor the thituation from above, hold your fire though until I give you the word. Hathrik, you lead a long range party and hold back until we locate the enemy, then thtrike; Tornel, I want you to lead a thmall party to count of numberth; I want the retht of you to come with me and we will be puth them back; Jayvan, you locate any bombth or weaponth, I want them gone. Everyone got it!”

 Agreement rang out. You walk to Hasrik, a tall burgundy blood with diamond shaped horns, was an old troll with the best shot you have ever seen. The man could shoot a needle from one side of a large hive to another without concentrating on it. You’ve taken some lessons from him, a chance you would have never of gotten with the hemospectrum.

  “You alright Eridan?”

 “Don’t like flyin’.”

 “Me neither, we’re on ground now though. Is the Crosshairs ready?”

 “Yeah.” you unload your specibus. He nods and does the same with his weapon. The Cralot’s Ceasefire. Not as powerful as the Crosshairs, but more accurate. It suited him. You look around at the fourteen other solider. Only one of them is about the same age as you, a stubborn girl with horns curling around her cheeks. Her thick curls were pulled back into a bun. Her eyes were awash with olive green and she was loading her cullguns. The loud _clack-clack_ echoed around the buildings as they walked through the abandoned barracks.

 The floors still had furniture and clothes. What was to be expected of the Empire? You remember your own hive, the shipwreck you called home. You would like to return to that once this was over, to come back to your lusus, if it hadn’t taken on another grub. You had left it much like this. You had left it much like everyone had left their own hives. That was what the Empire was like. Waste, more waste. Yet the rebellion clung to everything that had, reused everything they could reuse, because there was simply not enough to go around.

 The dust left footprints, causing a psiioniic called Darlin Corhet to use his powers to cover them up.

  _Bang!_

 Gun shots.

 The street was a T-junction filled with creamy-white gravel. Strange trees with long flat leaves of various heights lined the junction. The buildings were a dull, sun burnt grey, square, squat and stark. The windows were rectangles, without pillars. There was a helitank in the street. It’s indigo hull was bright in the sunlight and you could see about five high blooded landdwellers around the tank and you can see at least two murderclowns. A shiver runs up your spine.

 Hasrik waved you over. You duck past the window and look at what he’s pointing at.

 “See that?”

 “Fuck yeah.” A radiocom. With a blast from that would knock their communications and at least three of them onto the ground. There was another at the controls, talking though the speaker. You bring your communicator to your mouth “Long range, long range, preacher in sight, w-waiting for orders, over.”

 The communicator crackled after a few seconds “Foot range, foot range, go when ready, repeat go when ready, over.”

 You position yourself on the window beside him, you take aim. Breathe, hold, breathe. You nod. Hasrik fires.

 The noise the Ceasefire makes is more like a shushing cat than a riflekind weapon. There is a white streak through the air, a split second pause, then boom. The explosion is specular, a large fireball bellow into the air and you can feel the heat from the other side of street. It knocks the two murderclowns to the floor.

 The troll at the radiocom is incinerated and you get a glimpse of him running back into the building behind them through the trees as you fire at a clown. You hit one, knock her shoulder splattering across the white gravel road.

 The other leaps up, her chestlumps jiggle as you fire at her pusher. It hits her hip and blood goes bellowing across the ground. The hole doesn’t drop her and she screams at the helitank to fire. The scope moves upwards and you barely get to jump back when psiioniics throw you to safety. You hit the far wall and Hasrik almost lands on top of you as the wall comes you. The noise is horrendous. Hasrik growls and you use your arm to shield his eyes, which are more important than your arm right now.

 Rubble pummels you, dust clogs up gills and you can just hear gunfire below. You cough on the dust going down your windchute. The dust settles enough for you see the outline of Corhet and two large pieces of the window structure hovering above the blown out floor. The wall behind him has been demolished. There is a burning crackling and smell of storm in the air as he throws the large boulders across the street into the helitank.

 One is blasted away and the other is also shot down. They don’t, can’t, lower the scope in time to shoot another piece of rubble shooting at them from below. Sollux’s assault glances off the hull of the purple tank and flies back up into the air and only just misses another troll who runs out of the building as it lands with a dull thump.

 You feel a pleasurable shiver as the thought of him using those psiioniics on you. Fuck! That bastard, of course, had to show your unit up.

 About a dozen more trolls pour out of the building as well, firing loudly as they did. Surprisingly, most of them were low bloods. There was an extremely tall brown blood, about the same size as Gamzee with a metal arm, leg and horn. His skull was lined thin curving pipes going into his nub. His right is the shiny red of blindness.

 You swallow. A berserker.

  _Move motherfucker! I’s got some motherfuckers to cull._

 You decide then and there that he has to go. Hasrik coughed and sputtered as he stumbled to the window. He squinted as he fired again at the clowns. The one you shot out flinches as blood is blown out the back of her head. She falls backwards stiffly and you find yourself chuckling as you judge the jump down.

 You manage to grab the floor below on the way down and somehow manage to drop down beside Sollux. He scowls at you before ducking away again when a bullet springs off the edge of the pillar he is hiding behind.

 “Didn’t expect this many people did w-we?” you laugh before pushing past him and firing at the helitank, the rotary blades of which are starting to turn. It’s going to take off, fuck!

 “Not at fucking all!” he hisses into your fin. He nips your neck through your scarf before screaming into the communicator “Mavrik, Ravtel, get the fuck in there and fire! Fire!”

 You can hear the roar of the engines as it goes overhead. You want to look up as it passes overhead, the wind is pounding into you. Suddenly there is a scream as a troll practically runs into, machete held above his head. His hooked horns and mad hair is the only thing you see before you fire into his face, laughing nervously as you do.

 “Thit! Thith ith thtupid ath hell! ED! I can hear that fucking betherker from over here!” you can just hear him saying.

 “Yeah, he sounds like Gamzee! I’ll get ‘im!” you turn the corner and are knocked backwards by a club to your head. You didn’t check, did you? Fuck, Fef would slap you senseless if she saw that! You didn’t fucking check!

 Sollux screams overhead as your vision swims and your hearing becomes nothing but loud bass in your ears. You head lolls to one side and you reach up to touch the throbbing just above your temple. It comes away bloody. Fuu _uuuck!_

 You force yourself to sit up. You grunt as your head spins to one side and you almost fall over again. The whizz of bullets go past you and you realise that Sollux is going hell to leather over you with your attacker, some teal blood who would give Terezi a ride for her currency. You struggle to your feet in time to see Sol snapping his neck.

 A female troll with long straight hair flowing behind her goes for you and you just manage to dodge. Your olive blood companion lands practically on top of her with a dagger in one hand and over-long claws in the other. You practically leap out of her way with how wildly she’s screaming. You’re not so sure that she isn’t a berserker as well.

 Speaking of which…

 The brown blood is screaming madly as he grabs large boulders and flings them across at everyone. He takes one glance at you standing there stupidly and starts charging. Oh shit.

 You actually stumble backwards as he comes at you. Your instinct clicks in with a horrible delay that will cost you your life one night. You yank the Crosshairs up, don’t even bother aiming because that is one huge fucking target, pull the trigger and hold it.

 The white hot blast that comes out and whacks his chest hard and he doesn’t even fucking flinch. He slows, almost grinning as he does and stalks towards you. Oh double shit! He doesn’t even feel this. You keep firing.

  _Fuck! Fuck fuck! Fuck fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck!_

 The blast comes pouring down from his chest like molten metal. You scream at him and he howls back, completely animalistic. There is a hissing noise as he reaches for you, you step back, step back. Oh fuck oh shit oh fuck!

 You balance lurches wildly to the side. Oh damn this! You force the barrel into the hole you’ve created in him and burn flesh flies out his back and he slumps and falls. The molten metal truly was molten metal is seems, as his back is covered in the metal of his arm and leg. There is a breathing apparatus on his spine, which was leaking now with the bottom of it blown out.

 You grimace at the smell, it’s bad, really bad.

 “Eridan, you okay?!” Hasrik shouts down.

 “Sure, yeah.” You slur back, gosh your speech sounds awful “Got ‘im. Got the fuckass and shit I sound like Karkat.”

 “Karkat?”

 “You’re memories goin’, old man. Goin’ somethin’ bad.” Wow, really awful. You sway something awful as well when you try to walk to shelter. There’s no point in rushing really, not when the worst three are gone. There’s a great hiss overhead and you manage to lean back against a pillar and look up in time to see two rockets shoot from the gunship.

 Smoke bellows from the turrets as they shoot across at the helitank, the blades of which are spinning madly. It’s above the ground some when a quick _thunk_ _crack whirr_ echoes across the street as the hull of the tank starts to spin as well. Its turns, screaming as it does. The building is explodes beside it as a rocket hit it as well. The debris rains over the tank and it goes flying into the ground with a _tink._

 Then boom.

 You duck out of the way but it isn’t enough as it knocks you onto your knees. You see Sollux tumble across the ground beside you and you chuckle harshly at him.

 Fire pours everywhere and it’s too hot and you cannot be doing with any of this right now. Blood is trickling down your forehead onto your nose. Hasrik is running past the pillar, coughing. He gags slightly as he looks at you. His weary eyes are watering. They might need cleaning out.

 You have water in your sylladex and you pull it out, wave him over. He stumbles as he does. You wash the water out of his eyes and he blinks, shudders and shakes his head, water flicking everywhere. Blood is starting to trickle down from his brow, where something has cut him. He coughs some more.

 You cough yourself. Sollux manages to drag himself to his knees at least, which does you a lot of favours. Hell, he owes you a few anyway. You look around, nearly your entire unit is either unconscious or dead. The olive blood girl is claws deep in someone still and you cannot feel anything but respect for her.

 There is about seven other trolls from their unit alive and conscious. They are choking on the dust and clutching wounds. The subjugglator is still standing, her bloody arm is hanging from her blown out shoulder.

 Fuck, so much for getting her.

 The only other troll who survived the impact from your unit, Corhet, is picking himself off the ground. He spits out dust and looks up in time to see the murderclown grab him about the horn and rip it out of his skull. The scream he lets out is not natural sounding and every cell in your stomach dances unhappily at it.

 He suddenly goes berserk. His scream turns into a mad howl of rage and psiioniics blast from his eyes. The murderclown goes from existing to a lower torso in seconds. The blast then shoots across the building the enemy was housed in. The living ones flee but three of them are caught in the blast. He starts to levitate, dust, rubble and gravel spinning around him wildly. Blood is also floating around him too, yellow and indigo floating slowly in little droplets.

 You realise that he is slowly turning to face you. Oh shit again!

 “Has he a moirail?!”

 Sollux appears beside you “Yeah, back on bathe!”

 “Oh for fuck’s sake! Sol, can you counteract ‘im?!”

 “Yeah! But he’th gone! He’th a bertherker now! That bitch knew exactly what the wath doing too!”

 You nod and turn to Hasrik “If I cower you, can you get ‘im?!”

 Hasrik nods. You don’t doubt it really. Sollux nods, jumps out from behind the pillar and lets loose his own blast. He screams lowly as he does. You grab Has and run in an arc around them, you need to get the back of his neck, head, something around that area. Fuck your head hurts.

 Sollux starts to float slowly as well, the pillar starting to chip beside him. You two are out in the open, if you get caught out here, you are both dead. The Rebellion will lose its two best snipers and one it’s few highbloods.

 As your elder aims, shouting bellows behind you and you realise that the other four trolls are still alive. One is charging at you with a machete raised above his head. He is bloody and crying from the dust. You weren’t far behind him.

 You turn and fire at him, a hole going straight through him. The other three back off, green bloods, one of them might be a jade, her eyes bright with fear from where you were standing.

 You turn back to Hasrik, who fires at Corhet. The hiss of the Creasefire is lost in the overwhelming boom of psychic energy. It hits it mark. Bang, blood spatters about his skull. His neck snaps forwards, his head flicks back and it suddenly stops. The swirling mass hovers before dropping with his body to the ground. His eyes are wide and blank with death.

 Sollux lowers to the ground as well, the tiled flooring caved in in a swirling pattern. He’s panting, sweating from working too hard. At least he isn’t bleeding, you prefer him bleeding just for you. Hasrik is coughing too.

 You turn to the enemy trolls who are starting to kneel before you, placing their weapons on the ground in front of them. They place their hands behind their heads. Surrender if there ever was one.

 Sollux grins as he walks towards you. The communicator buzzes loudly with Ravtel’s voice “We’re going to land again, see you there, over.”

 “Alright, we’re on our way with prisoners. Over.” He pants back. Blood is trickling down his bruised nose, a scrapped cheek is also bruising. Hasrik has a sore throat and a cut brow. You will later be told you have a concussion because of your head injury, which is also bleeding. Not too bad really.

 You came with fifty two soldiers, you leave with forty one and three prisoners of war. Not too bad at all.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little bit more of a delay than I intended, but good weather and a new job have taken priority right now. Thanks anyway to everyone for being patient. As always, spelling and grammar. :)

Kanaya

 You first week back at HQ has been restless and stressful. As chief medical officer, you are expected to oversee the other medical officers as well as one eighth of the patients that are here. However, there are some who come to you most specifically. Out of all the cullsurgeons, you are special. You have had the least training but you are the Dolorosa’s blood match.

 You can care for grubs the best, it makes sense really.

 Why wouldn’t all the breeders you’ve found come to you first and formost? It makes sense.

 But… but you’ve never even seen a grub, let alone cared for one. A breeder is in a whole new league.

 There are at least sixteen that are pregnant or suspect that they are with grub. They line the outside of your room like wallpaper. This mutation is does not discriminate with blood.

 One of the breeders is a young seadweller, maybe a sweep above you with the same shade of violet as Eridan. He is very far along, round to the point that it cannot be comfortable to do anything. He shakes when you bring him in. He was wearing a large woollen hat that couldn’t comfortable in the dry season’s heat. When he pulled it away his fins were bright and healthy before you.

 You had gasped and he had just broken down in tears, collapsed to his knees and held your hand desperately as he sobbed and hiccupped through the situation that led him there. Matesprite and he had pailed during heat, dismissed heat as heat, ended up pregnant, matesprite panicked and told the commander, he was beaten and locked up with the others, matesprite gave him a hat as a breaking up present. You had sat and listened to him through the whole thing quietly and when he was finished, you asked him what he needed you for, medically.

 “I think I’m due, that’s what the others were sayin’ and I’m scared, I’m fuckin’ terrified a it! They said it was painful and all! I don’t know if I can do this!” he cried.

 It took about another five minutes before he calmed down enough to tell him to ask one of the other, more seasoned, breeders what to expect and go to them if he believed he was in labour. He nodded, sniffling still, before getting up, placing the hat on and leaving again.

 His was the least of your worries. There was at least three other first timers and they were all equally scared. One female green blood had asked you to remove it.

 “I don’t know if I can do that. Not if it will affect your health or not-“

 “I don’ care, I wan’ I’ ou’! I would rather die than have this thing in me!” she had screamed.

 You hugged her and held her, whispering softly that she would be fine and that she would get through this and they would protect her and the grub and that they had medicine that would help her feel better if that was what it took. It was very pale, but you couldn’t help yourself, she really was so pitiful.

 You managed to guide her out of the room, with a bag of pills for her depression and horrorterrors, and asked one of the patients to guide her to a cocoon. They had nodded and walked her away. You felt like crying yourself.

 The rest where seasoned breeders, second to eighth grub with some of them. Some had lost grubs or successfully birthed them. They only wanted a health check and suggestions on something to do now that they didn’t have to pail anyone. You suggested simple ideas for each other them, nothing too hard or strenuous.

 You had seen fourteen of them by the end of the day, all in different stages of pregnancy. The suspected pregnancies where all positive and that scared you and them alike.

 At the end of the night, you sat with your head in your hands. One of the cullsurgeons’ head appeared around the corner. Her jade eyes were large behind her glasses.

 “Are you alright Kanaya?”

 “Yes… yes… I’ll be fine. This was just an incredibly long day.” You look at her “What has our Empire come to if we have to violate our own people with our uncouth beliefs? There was a violet blood tonight, seadweller, and he was thrown in with the rest of the thrall. This system is so corrupted that no one is safe from it.”

 “I know dear, but we are going to change that. How many more do you have? I’ll take them tomorrow, you need a rest.”

 “Just one, not including Karkat. It’ll be fine. One more will not kill me. I’ll see them and leave it for the night. How about that?”

 She looked doubtful “Just so long as it’s only that one now. Chief or not, you have a limit.”

 She left and you nearly cry. The next day, you are more tired than refreshed. You have a lot of notes to tend to, medicine to prescribe, so much to do. When the current breeder came in, you see his old face and are nearly sick. He is a yellow blood, without psiioniics, and two sets of curled horns. His face is lined with stress and age and you see the swell in his stomach. He shouldn’t be giving birth at his age.

 When he sits down, there is a quiet confidence about him and his smile. You straighten.

 “What is it that you would like tonight?”

 “Well, to put it frankly, to help you.”

 His voice is as old and worn as his face. There is a bright flicker in his greying eyes. You couldn’t be more confused.

 “Excuse me?”

 “I am quite old as you can see and I am also a breeder. I am the oldest and the most experienced breeder you have. How many grubs did the troll with the most have?”

 “Eight.”

 He chuckles “I trump that easily with seventeen.”

 You nearly faint. Seventeen grubs, which must have been hard. Did he do this all alone?

 “I don’t count the ones I’ve lost or were stillborn, that would count to over thirty.” He waves his hand dismissively “For some strange reason, our bodies think it is a good idea to go into heat soon after miscarriages, so I became pregnant very quickly, very often. Anyway, I believe my extensive knowledge will be useful to you.”

 “Pardon?” you say dumbly.

 “I saw the amount of breeders out there.” He continues “I will be needed, especially with that lad with the hat, and very soon it seems, I can also talk that one that had to be walked away and helping her get to grips with it.”

 “I see…” you look down at his stomach. He laughs again.

 “I know I will have to deliver again soon, but if you give me about a week’s recovery and I can go back to work easily. I assure you, it will be my last. I have also deliver grubs, big, small, complicated and quick. I have also saved a few lives with helping deliver some of the hard births.” He nods as if he was going through a list of things in his head.

 Yes, this was… this was perfect. This man you could not shake his hand enough. You grab his old fingers and, shaking, grip them. Tears drip down your cheeks with relief. He smiles in tired happiness and lets you cry your stress out.

 When you compose yourself, he stands and bring you with him “Go and get some rest. I’m sure you need it. My name is Garlen Holtor, by the way.”

 Garlen was one of the oldest trolls you have ever met and he was lifting a great weight from your shoulders as if it were a feather and happy to do so it seemed so. You were so stressed, so afraid of getting it wrong and disappointing everyone. Worse yet, getting someone killed through your ignorance.

 He knew what he was doing. He knew what he was doing better than anyone.

 You walk to the door, wiping your eyes of fresh tears. On the other side was two trolls that you were a little more familiar with.

 Aradia is wearing a simple black, high-collar dress with burgundy trim and her sign on the front. It came to her knee and she suited it well. Karkat was wearing a charcoal colour turtleneck, with red cuffs and buttons because you couldn’t abide giving him just grey, and plain black trousers. Around his neck was his sign as a necklace. Simple and to the point, sort of like Karkat you guessed.

 They both stood as you came out.

 “Karkat, I’m afraid I cannot see you, but a more experienced medicial officer can see you. He’s just turned up now as well.” You laughed weakly, gesturing to Garlen.

 “Actually, I just came with Aradia because I’m bored. She’s the one that needed the appointment. Gamzee’s helping with crates of food, so I’m just walking around and talking to anyone who will tolerate me.”

 Aradia laughs “I’m in heat and I want someone medical to write a lettle to Equius to tell him that I am safe to be around and that he won’t jump me in lust or anything.”

 “Are you sure that you need to be in heat for that?” Karkat smirks.

 She slaps the back of his head “I’ve gonna stop tolerating you now.”

 “Aw fuck!”

 “Actually that would be a good idea. Garlen? Can you write a poster out to displace the myths of breeders with heat and such? And one explaining pregnancy and labour symptoms? That would make so many things so much easier.” You ask.

 “That I can do.” He smiles brightly and you realise that his nose has been broken multiple times and many of his teeth have been knocked out.

 You nod at him before he closes the door, leaving just Karkat and you. He smiles and touches his swell tiredly. You smile back, equally tired.

 “I take it you haven’t been sleeping well?” you ask as you walk on.

 “Like fuck I have. It seems that the second the hot weather kicks in, my bladder decides to work overtime.”

 “I see. Maybe you should move to a cooler room.”

 “Nah, Gamzee has already started fucking vandalising the walls with his mirthful bullshit, but at least the colours are pretty. I guess. Anyway, you should probably be the one going to sleep by the looks of things.”

 “I should probably sleep, but I have work I need to complete or it will be put off again.”

 “Maybe I can help.”

 “Are you sure? It’s just putting prescriptions into bottles so they can be given to the troll in the right amount.”

 “It’s not like I have fuck all else to do.” He shrugs. You are thankful to him. On the way to the medicine store, he takes a detour to the ablutionblock, which makes you laugh. When you get in, there are several new boxes piled high and another cullsurgeon in organising it.

 “Hello Arlian. How are you?” she looks up and smiles.

 “Fine, just sorting through these. Are you going to sort the perscriptions?”

 “Yes, I’ll have some help” you gesture to Karkat “so it shouldn’t take too long.”

 She nods and you just spot the glint in her eye at seeing Karkat. She blushed when you pat her shoulder on the way past because she is staring at Karkat very noticeably, not that Karkat seems to have noticed.

 You have him counting the amount of tablets required before he pours them into the bottles, all of which have been labelled already. He seems so content in doing it. You are confused by this at first when he stretches lazily and turns to you.

 “Thanks for letting me do this! I was so bored you would not believe. It’s stupid the amount of things everyone thinks you incapable of doing when your with grub. I had to do a lot more than this and worse when I was back on that fleet.”

 “I’ve heard. Some of the breeders I saw seemed awfully distraught, I am extremely concerned for one girl...”

 “Yeah… I was asked to talk to her. I think she should see that guy seeing Aradia, he might be able to get through to her.”

 “Indeed. Thank you for your help Karkat.” You take the box of bottles he has filled and place them by the door to be delivered.

 He leans back “Seriously, it was no fucking problem. I was near ripping my hair out to the point I was following people hoping they would give me something to do out of annoyance. Even on the fleet I was expected to feed someone or spread my legs or something.”

 You flinch. He notices and bows his head “Sorry. I guess I say that very casually, don’t I?”

 “A little.” You take a seat next to him “I think that it’s just so shocking for us to know what you’ve been through and that you have adjusted to it in an almost comfortable manner seems a bit disturbing is all.”

 “I guess. Imagine what it’s like for me in the beginning. The others telling me to just not let it get to my head and to think of something nice and you’ll be fine. Fuck that. Fuck all that shit. They get in deep, really fucking deep.” He points to his temple, where one of the long scars end “They fuck up your pan. Make you think the pain is pleasure and that you really want what they are doing to you. That you’re just a bucket whore. It’s horrible afterwards because they let you return to normal afterwards, with full memories and all.”

 “My goodness! Is that… is that what they did to you?”

 He nods “The first couple of times at least. Having a breeder is a big prize to them, but having a mutant breeder like me. Bring out the sopor, a miracle has fucking happened. There must have been six of them and you’d have thought someone had dropped all the riches of Alternia in front of them with the way they acted with me.

 “I fought back at first. Fought back tooth and claw, manage to get one of the fucker’s eyes out before they managed to tie me up. I stopped fighting somewhere between the second and third one. Stopped crying after the fifth one. By the time the sixth one was ready to have his turn, I was pretty much unresponsive. So he got one of the purple bloods to use chucklevoodoos on me.

 “She really fucked with my thinkpan. Fuck knows how I didn’t snap with how much she played around in there. The worst part about it was that she made sure I was aware of everything she was doing. I knew that he was hurting me, but my body thought it was pleasure. She had me begging for more and actually trying to get more out of them. When they done, she reverse everything she had done, so I was in agony.”

 He was shaking a little now. When you touch his hand, you realise it had gone cold. He swallows and looks at you with those too bright eyes. He looks scared now. Strangely enough, his voice was steady.

 “Oh Kanaya. I just ran, ran deep into the ship, nearby where Sollux found me, curled up and cried. I sobbed my pusher out. I must have been there for hours, sobbing, dirty, tired and in pain and I didn’t even fucking try to move because I was so afraid of what happened to me happening again.

 “That’s when I met Mituna, the helmsman we brought in. I was almost asleep when the door to his room opened and he called me inside. I was so confused at first, really confused to the point that I thought that clown bitch had well and truly fucked up my pan. He told me so much and helped me through everything, I might have gone mad without him.”

 “I’m surprised you didn’t. I guess we’re all stronger than we realise.” You place your hand over your mouth as you yawn.

 “True. Go and get some sleep, Kan. Gamzee should be finished by now, I’ll go and pester him. I have some card games we can play for a while, and I’m determined to beat that fucking clown!” Karkat stands and stretches. His round stomach is more pronounced in the jumper he is wearing, but you wonder if he likes that because he reaches down and touches it when he’s done.

 You laugh “I will. Thank you for sharing that with me Karkat.”

 He nods and you return to your respiteblock to sleep.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short chapter that introduces another character who is be a little shit to the characters. Also, I finally introduce the use of Baby Crab, an adorable nickname for Karkat I stole from another fanfiction. The usual proofread is appreciated.  
> 

Aradia

 You reached over and gently touched Equius’ hand. He was cold to your hands but it was a reassuring feeling against your almost clammy hands. The heat was suffocating on this planet. The colder blooded trolls found it unbearable. Feferi and Eridan spent most of their little spare time in the deeper rooms out the heats way. Gamzee would probably follow if he didn’t share a room with Karkat. You had insisted on one of the lower floors too and Equius had promptly insisted that you would be more comfortable in one of the higher floors. You had settled on a middle floor in the block next to Nepeta’s.

 You spent a lot of time with her now. She was always pleasant to be around anyway, but you wouldn’t have considered her one of your closer friends. Until recently of course.

 You sink back into the sopor and sigh. The dull ache in your hips is uncomfortable and the warmth of the room made it sharper, more towards pain. Sleeping next to Equius would be nice but he would suffer. That and he’s still terrified of your heat affecting him.

 Garlen’s note had helped though. At least he was back in your block.

 You yawn, brush your fringe from your eyes and look at the clock on the far wall. It’s coming towards evening at least. Still bright out, but you can walk around normally on this planet. The thick clouds smother any really damaging sunlight, not that it’s too hot anyway.

 Jumping up and out of the coon makes your hips protest a little but you continue on anyway. After showering and dressing in a comfortable dress and cardigan, you leave the respiteblock and wander down the halls.

 Most of the trolls will be asleep still, but sometimes there will be someone awake doing something because either the heat is too much for them, or they were in heat like you, or in pain, or an insomniac or whatever. You shake your head. Why on Alternia were you listing off reasons for people to be awake?

 After a bit of wandering, you come across a familiar set of brown wings fluttering just out a doorway. Tavros is leaning against the doorway of the warblock. It’s an ugly navy grey room with large electronic maps on each wall, extremely out of date husktops lining the perimeter of the room and a square mapping table in the middle, the shelves of which were mounted with papers and maps and drivel that bored you senseless.

 Tavros is clothed in plain trousers and a tank top with his symbol on the front. The back has been cut out for his wings. You smile at his display of muscle on his arms. Once there was a time that Tavros would have been embarrassed by even the notion of being muscular and winged and actually confident.

 He was holding a half full mug of brown milk. He was vacant looking as he stared into the room, his thoughts seemingly far away.

  “You alright Tavros?”

 He snaps out of his daze and looks at you. You doesn’t seem to recognise you for a second before his eyes soften and he says “Hi.”

 “Hello. What are you doing up?”

 “Oh, I’m, uh, well I don’t know. I can’t seem to sleep, yeah… Vriska is asleep at least. She’s struggling with the heat a bit.”

 “Yes, Equius is suffering as well. Gamzee must be nearly dying in this heat because he’s on one of the top floors with Karkat. I wish I could convince Equius to go to one of the lower floors, but you what he’s like, always chivalrous.”

 “Yeah. What are you, uh, doing up?”

 “Too hot. It’s making my hips sore.”

 He flinches away from you. You suck in your lips. What was it with everyone and being convinced that they must keep a distance from you the second you come into heat?

 “I, em, see. Sorry for flinching there. It’s still an automatic reaction.” He rubs the back of his neck “Do you want to get some brown milk?”

 You nod.

 The hallways are empty, which is a nice change from bumping into everyone every five seconds. The quiet is nice. You don’t want to drink tea in case you get pusher burn, but you could cull a cup about now.

 Droplets of sweat run down the back of your spine and you shiver because it tickles. Tavros’ wings are fluttering lightly behind him and it’s providing a soft draft on your face. It’s a nice feeling.

 You are about to enter the kitchens when you both hear a shout from down the hallway. Tavros, who is half in the kitchen, leans backwards.

 “That sounded like Terezi.” He says. You nod and he goes to investigate with you close behind him.

 It is Terezi. Terezi and the current thorn in her side, Thoule. Her former matesprite. They are both standing outside the offices of the few legislators. Terezi looks like she was trying to get past Thoule, who was blocking her in.

 Thoule was, in all physical senses, very similar to Karkat in appearance and sound. They both were about the same high, same thick wavy hair and stocky build. He even had the deep gruffness in his voice as Karkat. He had similar features to Karkat, although they were clearly different colours, and his horns were hooked over his head. When Terezi had first introduced him, everyone quietly suspected that he was a substitute for Karkat. They had quickly found out that, in terms of personality, there could have not been too more different trolls.

 Thoule was cruel and ruthless. Karkat was kinder and more compassionate. Thoule had little friends and constantly smiles in a way that made everyone uneasy. He likes fiduspawn and racing. Karkat seemed to have no end of friends and seemed to naturally draw people to him. He had an interest in anything to do with romance and, as of late, cards. He and Gamzee were seven to ten.

 “Why should I leave you alone when you’ve gone out of your way to threaten me?”

 Terezi bares her teeth “I did not threaten you.”

 “Not directly, but you did tell that freakblood about us. He then took it upon himself to threaten me for you. You knew he has flush feelings for you, so it’s natural to go to him first.”

 “I didn’t tell him. Gamzee did. And Vriska told him. Also, Karkat is his own person, he will do whatever he wants regardless of what everyone else wants. Now fuck off.” She makes to walk past him but he doesn’t budge.

 “Yeah, like he didn’t become a whore for the highbloods.” Thoule sneers at her. She growled.

 “How dare you!”

 “Ahem.” They both turn to Tavros, who’s spread his wings out fully. He looks larger than normal with them like that. He knows that too. Thoule is not threatened by it though.

 “Fuck off you flying shitpan. This isn’t any of your business, go back to whatever you were doing.” He snarls at you.

 Tavros frowns. You step past him.

 “That’s sweet coming from you Thoule. Can’t you just accept that she isn’t interested anymore? And don’t say that you are sorry. You’re sorry that you got caught and that is all there is to it.” You cross your arms and frown at him.

 His eyes narrow “I should’ve expected a breeder like you would stand up for this.”

 “That it!” Tavros steps forward, arm raising to punch Thoule. Thoule steps back and brings his swords out of his strifedeck. He doesn’t get a chance to use them before Tavros has slammed him into the wall with his fist. Cavalreapers where also taught hand to hand combat if you remember correctly.

 Teal blood splatters from Thoules mouth. He screams and gasps as Tavros opens his fist and grabs him around the neck.

 “Say that again! I dare you, go on, say it!” he hisses. Terezi looks horrified at you and she comes out the room and both of you try and pull him off Thoule because you couldn’t afford being disciplined right now. He was growling like some wild beast.

 You can almost see Tavros biting Thoule but he doesn’t. A resounding honk bellowed through the hallway. You all turn to face Gamzee. He looks healthier than he did when he was first released, having gained weight. His eyes didn’t look sore with rage and withdrawal, just a little tired from the heat.

 “What the motherfuck is goin’ on here? Some brothers and sisters are trying to get their motherfuckin’ sleep on!” he drawls with tiredness “You better not be up and causing some trouble or anythin’.”

 Everyone is tense but Tavros, who is still more relaxed than most around Gamzee. Gamzee walked over and gently placed his hand on Tavros’ bicep. If you didn’t know any better, you would have believed that Gamzee was going behind Karkat’s back, but they were as close as Equius and Nepeta.

 “He ain’t worth it brother!” he says and slowly the warmblood released Thoule’s neck. He let his hand hang beside him before stepping away. He head towards the kitchen again. Gamzee, Terezi and you follow. Terezi gives Thoule on last glare before leaving.

 In the kitchen, the Tavros prepared the brown milk for three of you, Gamzee declined any. They or lean on the counters. After a while you ask “So, what was that all about?”

 Terezi sighs.

 “ _Someone_ ” a glare is directed at Gamzee “told Karkat about me and Thoule and how he had cheated on me. They _also_ told him that I was getting bother by him, so he decided to send him a polite notice to leave me alone.”

 “He asked me what was all up with you and all, so I told him. What’s a brother to do?! And Vriska told me before hand.” Gamzee grumbles.

 “You had no right to tell him! If I wanted him to know I would have told him myself!”

 Gamzee mutters something.

 “What was that?! Loud and clear, so we can all hear it!” Terezi slams the mug down and struts right up to Gamzee’s face.

 _Careful Terezi, you don’t want people gossiping._ You think.

 “I said ‘maybe this wouldn’t have happened an’ all if you hadn’t tried to replace the genuine article with something second best’!”

 “I did not-!”

 “You did so Terezita. You took the motherfuckin’ closest thing you could get to Baby Crab, sept there ain’t no motherfuckin’ troll like Baby Crab! You went for a motherfuckin’ shoddy copy and when that backfired on you, you motherfuckin’ took it out on Karkat instead.” He hisses.

 “’Baby Crab’? What kind of hoofbeast shit is that?”

 “I’ll call him what he motherfuckin’ allows me too! That ain’t none of your business.”

 “And discussing my love life is yours?” Terezi squealed.

 Gamzee made a huge point of turning to Tavros, arm outstretched, saying “Actually, I change my motherfuckin’ mind, Tavbro! I’ll get two warm milks or, better yet, three. One more so I can dump it on this bitch’s head!”

 Terezi is seething. She screeches through her teeth at him “Don’t you fucking dear!”

 “I’ll just remind you, Terezita, I’ll do what I motherfuckin’ want.” He says quiet into her face before taking two warm milks and leaving. Terezi hisses as he goes, runs her hand through her hair, lifts her cup and downs it all in one go, which must burn her tongue.

 She then announces “I’m going to sleep now!”

 She then also leaves.

 You look from the door, to Tavros, to the door, to your mug and sip.

 “Well, that could have gone better I guess.” Tavros says tiredly.

 You agree, though it has oddly helped your sore hips.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long time no update! I've been very busy lately, so I haven't had time to update the story. I did plan out the next few chapters because I didn't want to forget the story and organise the story a bit more. This chapter is short I'm afraid, the next one will be too I'm afraid. I have a couple of short and long chapters coming up but the story is going to move forward rapidly soon. RnR and spelling as ususal! Thanks!

Tavros

 The evening is quiet and so gives you so peace to shower in. Normally, most trolls tried to shower in their own rooms and only showered in the communal ablution block if they were particularly dirty, didn’t have a room, or slept in a communal block. You were none of those things, but you were overly large with your wings and horns, so it was more comfortable and less of a hassle to shower here than in your own block.

 You would’ve liked to shower in your own block, with Vriska preferably, but it wasn’t feasible. You would have to settle with pailing her yesterday. Pailing Vriska was like taking a cold fire and throwing it around in a wild display of lust and beauty. She had described pailing you similar to flight on a warm evening. You took that as a good thing. You had a rocky start to your relationship but it was where it should be now.

 It was quiet as you rub the back of neck with soap and let it drip down your back. Your wings flutter as it tickles the beds. There was only the sound of the water splattering across the tiles. He enjoyed the sound and silence surrounding it, it was just missing Vriska by his side.

 The silence snapped though as the door was thrown open and Nepeta stormed in, her long thick hair tied back to a hoofbeast tail. She was all thunder and imposing tempter as she came in stripped off her mucky clothes and yanked out her hair. She then stomped up to the shower and turned in on and started to scrub at herself roughly.

 “Uh… hey Nepeta. Take it the, um, mission didn’t go to well.”

 “Like hell it did! We got squat and it’s made worse by a cosmic storm heading our way! Murr! I need Equius.” She growled as the soap lathered up and foamed around her thick hair.

 “Great, just what we need, another failed scouting mission.” you murmured to yourself.

 “I’m worried about this storm too.”

 “Uh, why?”

 She yanked the knots out of her long hair and you were once again thankful you didn’t have long hair. You could see her cutting it again soon. Hopefully Kanaya or another jade blood would style it properly this time. You remembered Equius saying that she had the front long and back short because she couldn’t decide on long or short hair. Weird reasoning if they asked you.

 “Because it blinds us down here. You couldn’t fly a ship furough that, nor can you fursically see furough it. If the Condese decides ‘well ain’t this glubbing purrfect, now is the purrfect time for a seige’ with would be sitting quackbeasts with a meowbeast as the nest.”

 “Actually, that is a bit worrying. How long do they reckon it will, uh, last?”

 “I’ve been told it could last nights or weeks. You nefurer know until it’s over. Until then, we’re grounded. Thank goodness we got back when we did.”

 “I bet. I wouldn’t be too happy if I was stuck from returning to, um, base because of a stupid storm. Will it affect the, uh, weather here?”

 “That about what they’re saying.”

 “Oh, great…”

 “So what happened whilst I was away?”

 Your ears twitched “Um, you better update that shipping chart of yours. Terezi and Thoule are officially over.”

 She perked up for that “Really? Well, I can’t say I’m surprised, he was a bulge sucker. What happened?”

 “I don’t know the, uh, details but, um, apparently, she was returning from work and walked in on him cheating on. She completely flipped her shit on him and even went for him. The other troll barely got out the door before she had him by the throat. Sollux had to be called in to drag her away and place her into a room to calm down. Vriska told me they had, uh, words and she calmed down after that.”

 “I would have never guessed that those two for pale.”

 “They’re not.”

 “Doesn’t sound too pale to me. What happened afterwards because I can’t imagine Thoule treating Terezi too nice after that?”

 You stretched and turned off your shower, going back to your pile of clothing and started to dry off with the towel there “Well, at first he wouldn’t leave her, uh, respiteblock until Karkat basically left him a death threat.”

 “Really? Karkitty is still red for Terezi after all this time?” she turned to look at you and winced as some soap went into her eyes “I didn’t think Terezi would need someone else to solve her problems.”

 “It’s a sensitive situation for her I guess. I think Karkat did it of his own will too because I think it was Vriska told him about what happened, not Terezi.”

 “Really? Fucking hell, I leave for barely a week and so much shit happens, murr!”

 You started to dress yourself. Usually, when you had free time, on the rare occasion anyone had free time, you would walk around shirtless. Once that would have made you embarrassed to the point of being unable to speak. Hell, you might have just wet yourself over it and murmured apologises as everyone laughed at you. Now it was more out of comfort and convenience that you didn’t wear a shirt, your wings made it incredibly difficult to do a lot of things, one was dressing. You would have to fiddle with buttons or hooks, where once your main obstacle would have been youe horns.

 Nepeta finished her own shower just as you finished fiddling with the neck of your shirt. You stretched your fingers out afterwards. Your hands were too fiddly to deal with little things like buttons, they were too big and thick now. Nepeta was dry and dressing as you started to brush back your hair.

 “Do you think that Thoule was a replacement for Karkat?”

 Nepeta paused “What?”

 “I… It’s just, two days ago, I was up late and so was, um, Aradia. We were going to get something to drink when we came across Terezi and Thoule arguing. They were really going to, um, kick off when Gamzee appeared and scared him off I think.

 “Um, when we went out to the kitchen, Gamzee and Terezi then got arguing over Karkat. He told her that Thoule was just a replacement for Karkat. And what he said kinda, uh, made sense. Do you think he was a replacement for Karkat?”

 Nepeta pulled on a clean shirt and ran a brush through her hair thoughtfully “Actually, now that you mentioned it… Thoule and Karkat are kind of similar. I mean they look kind of alike. They both have smallish horns, similar height and build. They sound the similar and have similar jaws… and when I first met him, he talked kinda similar too, with how he swore and was really descriptive with things… gosh, purr Karkitty. How horrible it must have been for him to meet Thoule after finding out that he was Terezi’s matesprite.”

 “Uh, I don’t think they actually met.”

 “Really?! Oh dear… that’s going to be… _interesting_ to see when it happens.”

 You nod. She plaited her hair and let it hang down her back.

 On their way out, she turned to you “I think I will visit Karkitty after I see Equius. Say hi to Vriska for me.”

 “Sure thing.” you nodded. She turned and walked away.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have fully planned out Seditious now! I can tell you there is a total of 31 chapters and that things are going to kick off big style in the near future. Work has increased my hours though, so we will see how long that takes to happen. Anyway, this is dedicated to a friend of mine who had a hard time recently, it'll cheer her up. The usual spelling and shit, thanks again!

Nepeta

 You knock on door to Karkat and Gamzee’s shared respiteblock. After a few hours of jamming with Equius, you feel more relaxed and calm, all you need now is a good day’s sleep and you will be sorted. You will get that right after you see how Karkat is.

 “Come the motherfuck in already!” you hear Gamzee say. You walk through the door after quickly adjusting your clothes and hair. Inside, the room had been cleared of boxes and the remainders had been stacked against the wall. There was two recuperacoons in the corner in front of some boxes, a pile beside that full of blankets, and stuffed toys and books. Behind the recuperacoons was two crates of clothes, one neatly closed and the other open with clothing scattered around. The closed one had a pile of books beside it. There was several pieces of paper and maps nailed to the wall. On the opposite wall was a large beginnings of a mural, the evidence of its continuation was placed haphazardly, some of the contents of the paint pots dripping to the floor. Off center of the room was a small table with two glasses and a card game being played on it. Karkat and Gamzee were sat either side of it, playing said game.

 “Come on in cat sis. Baby crab could up and use a motherfuckin’ break from motherfuckin’ playin’!” Gamzee grinned lazily. He waved you over and you come and sit next to Karkitty. He smiles at you, his hand raising to his swollen tummy. You lift your hand, in question, and he moves his hand and let you touch the grub growing inside him.

 It shifts under your fingers and you jerk back. That was possibly the weirdest thing you have ever felt, it was firm but there was something moving under there. Karkat chuckles.

 “Fuck, sorry I should have warned you. He’s been moving around since yesterday, he only moved every now and then but he seems to get more active if you touch my digestion sack.”

 “My wickest of brothers has been up and dancing with miraculous excitement. He’ll be motherfuckin’ happy as shit when he up and motherfuckin’ arrives!” Gamzee set a group of cards after picked one up from the center. He then sets one down beside the deck.

 “Watch to see if he’s cheating. This fucker’s won too many games for it to be coincidence.” Karkat whispers to you and picks up a card for himself. You remember seeing Equius and Aradia play this game. If you remember, she was good at it. Karkat has a suit that he places down, then places down another before placing one in the center himself “Here’s one to complete your set there.”

 “Aw shit!”

 Your tail flicks “You know the gender of the grub already?”

 “Yeah… I just kind of guessed it. It was the same with the last two, or one. I couldn’t really tell with the first. I lost it before I got to this point.”

 “I see. It doesn’t disturb you? The grub moving around like that? It means it’s not in an egg. That would gross me out. Mrr, the thought of it.” You shiver a little. You couldn’t cope if you were a breeder. You are so thankful that you do not have to be burdened by it, or the birthing, which is painful if what you heard is right.

 “Oh yeah they’re born live. No eggs in here. To be honest, it freaked the shit out of me when I first felt it. I remember actually screaming and crying and I think I might have pissed myself at one point. One thing I hate about this is having such a weak liquid waste sack. You should have seen the other slaves’ faces. They could not find it more hilarious! Fuckers. I should have pissed on them.”

 You laugh at that. Karkat seems happy at least. Gamzee yawns and stretches. He lifts up another card.

 “Guess what motherfucker.”

 Karkat abruptly stands and walks over to the pile “Fuck this fucking shit!”

 “Honk!”

 You can’t help it. You are clutching your belly laughing at him. He practically falls into the pile, arms crossed and pouting. Gamzee laughs the whole way over to him and sits beside him. He places a long lanky arm around Karkitty’s shoulder and brings him closer. Karkat just closes his eyes and turns his head away. Still pouting of course.

 It’s a good three or four minutes before you regain your composure. You finally manage to get and walk over to him. Karkat opens his eyes again, face relaxed, and reaches out for you. You turn and sit nearly between his legs. He undoes your hair and drags his fingers through it.

 “I don’t have a brush I’m afraid. Good luck getting one through Gamzee’s fucking hair and mine’s too short.”

 “It’s fine.”

 It really is fine. You love it when he’s this close to you. It’s not fair, you would make him a good matesprite. You would be loyal and protective over him and yet his heart belongs to someone else. Someone who tried to replace him when she couldn’t have him.

 “I heard that Terezi was having some matesprite problems.”

 “Yeah… that fucking douche bag she was with was causing her some problems apparently. I made it clear that he wasn’t welcome in her life.” He grumbled. He was currently weaving your hair into a braid, you were wondering if he would stop there.

 “I see. Look, Karkitty. I know Thoule I little better than you. A little fureat won’t make him back down. In fact, it might make things worse. I would be careful if I were you. He’ll try something, I know he will.”

 “Like motherfuck he will cat sis. If anyone motherfuckin’ harms my baby crab I will rip their motherfuckin’ horns out and hang them up like motherfuckin’ trophes! Anyone, I dare any motherfucker to just up and motherfuckin’ try hurt my pale bro. It will be the last time they do it!”

 “He won’t try anything if he has any sense Nepeta. I have my own personal fucking war machine to protect me.” Karkat said dryly as if he didn’t quite trust what he was saying.

 “I’m not so sure, apparently he confronted Terezi about your fureat.”

 Karkat’s hands stall on your hair “What?”

 Gamzee shifts behind him “Aw Nepeta, why you gotta up and go telling baby crab about that.”

 Karkat doesn’t move still. You shift and turn to look at him. He’s eyes are directly on you but they are unfocused. His hands are still holding your hair, but they are loose and he is quivering. You can see the rage building up in his eyes.

 “You didn’t tell him. Karkitty! I’m so sorry, I thought you knew!”

 Gamzee wraps his other arm around Karkat and rocks him gently “Stay calm baby crab! Stay motherfuckin’ calm. There ain’t not use if getting mad about it, Terezita can take care of her motherfuckin’ self!”

 Karkat doesn’t hear him, or feel the soft strokes his moirail is applying to the back of his head. He doesn’t even seem to be there with you. His hands are shaking badly now.

 “What…?” he rakes out. He sounds on the verge of losing his shit, really losing his shit.

 “Karbro. Chill! It’s gonna make you up and sick if you lose it. So get your motherfuckin’ calm on! Baby crab, please.”

 You did this. He’s going to go mad and go and confront Thoule about this and Thoule will just go and use it at an excuse to attack him and Karkat cannot defend himself properly with the grub and oh no! Why? Why did you say thing?! Why!?

 “Think of the grub, baby crab! Think of the grub.” Gamzee shooshes Karkat gently. He pulls his head into the crook of his neck and gently stroked his hair. Then Karkat does something strange. He reaches up and makes Gamzee’s hand and moves it until it’s at the back of his head. He presses it until he splays his fingers, and then he moves his other hand until it’s flat against his chest.

 Suddenly the look on his face changes until he looks terrified. He sucks in a deep breath, and turns into the indigo blood’s chest before breathing out “I’m fine.”

 He sounds exhausted and you feel extremely guilty. You bow your head. When you look up again, Gamzee is looking at you with an unreadable look in his eyes. You can tell he is not condemning you or demanding that you leave at least. You decide to leave anyway.

 Getting up, you whisper “Sorry Karkat…” before turning on your heels and walking slowly to the door. You close it quietly behind you and are greeted with an unpleasant sight.

 Thoule is literally beside the door to Karkat and Gamzee’s block and has removed the electrical control panel to the room from the wall. He has a tool kit beside him and is fiddling with the wires inside. He’s frozen like a cat at the sight of you.

 “What are you doing?” you demand.

 “None of your fucking business, ay.” He drawls. His voice annoys you. How could Terezi think he was anything like Karkat, in any way?

 “It’s my business because I’m one of the twelves descendants and that means I have jurisdiction over what everyone is doing as well. Now what are you doing?”

 He turns back to the panel and starts fiddling again “Just checking the systems for faults, there’s a problem with one of the storage power cores and the problem is coming from the first floor. I’m checking it.”

 “Sure you are, you know as well as I do that you have little knowledge about electrics as I do. You wouldn’t be assigned that kind of work.” You feel your hand twitching for a weapon. It wouldn’t be a great loss if you chop his head off, no one would care too much.

 “I know enough to do a basic check like this. I need that kind of information with this rebellion you know.” He’s so cocky that he cannot hide it from his words. Every sentence is dripping with arrogance.

 “Whatever you say.”

 He continues working for a few minutes when he realises that you’re not moving “What? Afraid I’ll try something.”

 “For you, yes.”

 He lifts his hands up into the air in surrender and starts packing away his stuff “Fine! I’m done here anyway.”

 He finishes packing away and puts the panel back in place. Once he’s done, he gets up and walks away without looking at you. When he’s far enough down the corridor to not be a pain or catch you off guard, you take the panel out again and look inside.

 The wires looks unchanged, but that’s only to you and you have no idea about these things. You might get Equius or Sollux to look at it later. You put the panel back in place and leave.


	11. Chapter 11

Equius

 The wind had been going strongly for a few hours now. The sky had darkened and clouds had hidden the moon away. You stand beside Aradia in front of the window as she rubs her cool arms. To you, she are still warm, but you’re not going to argue to be honest. It’s been a long day of gathering supplies and bringing them underground.

 The first storm you experienced at this base had caught everyone off guard. You lost nearly twenty trolls in that storm and a good portion of your supplies. This time you were more prepared.

 “Do you think that everyone will be fine this time around?”

 You look at your matesprite, she is smiling softly, her eyes wide and bright. She reaches her hand out and laces her fingers around her hand. It was rough and course as all trolls have. You don’t squeeze it, no matter how much you want to, because you will crush her. You don’t want to hurt her. She would forgive you, as she always does, but you could not forgive yourself.

 You turn and look at Nepeta as she comes through with an armful of food crate and a bag of medical supplies over her shoulder. She smiles at you as she passes.

 “I think we have a stronger chance of having no casualties this time. Are you concerned?”

 She pauses “Yes. There are more trolls than there was before though and some of those trolls are extremely vulnerable. We might not just lose them, we might lose the grubs they are carrying. I don’t think some of them could go through that. They have all gone through so much already.”

 “You sympathise with them.”

 She nods “That could have been me Equius. I could have been any one of them in the same situation as them. How could I not sympathise?”

 “I understand.” You lean down and gently kiss her horn. She leans back and stretches up to pick you on the lips before turning and walking away, hand slipping from yours.

 “I have a new book you might enjoy, I’ll ready it to you today. Yeah?”

 “That sounds delightful.”

 “Good.” She flashes you a quick smile before grabbing a stack of three smaller boxes that have been piled up to take at random by passing trolls with free hands. Some of the breeders had taken full advantage of these and the bags. One of the larger trolls sighed with relief because the weight balanced his back and belly out.

 One of the breeders was very far along. He wore a large woollen hat with holes for his wand-like horns. He was sweating almost as barely as you and seemed to be in considerable discomfort. He picked up one of the boxes and almost instantly collapsed.

 You ran over to him. Two other trolls helped him onto his hands and knees. He was crying and panting and sweat trickled down his nose and dripped with his tears. Violet tears. Everyone had figured out he was a seadweller one way or another. Eridan had nearly chocked on his food when he had walked past and then nearly thrown up when he saw he was a breeder.

 “That’s a fuckin’ seadweller if I ever fuckin’ saw one.” He had coughed.

 He moaned and leaned his head against the cool floor. He clutches at his stomach and sobs loudly and without shame “I can’t take this pain anymore! Make it stop!”

 “What’s wrong?” a teal blood from Terezi legal core asks him. He runs his back and he jumps when the seadweller screams in frustration and pain. You look at the teal blood before leaning down to the floor.

 “What is your name?”

 “Astral... Astral Mickle…” He grits out.

 “Have you been informed of the symptoms of labour?”

 “Yes…”

 “Is this in any way similar to those symptoms Astral?”

 He can’t reply but nods against the floor. You look at the closer troll, a brown blood with half his nose missing “Go and retrieve Garlen.”

 He nods and promptly jumps to his feet and runs back into the crowd shouting for Garlen. You shake your head and rub the back of your neck. You need a towel.

 Poor Astral needs a towel too. And some pain relief. His face is scrunched up as you and the teal blood help him to his feet. You guide him over to the steps in front of the window. You don’t look down at his leg because you know there is violet showing through his clothes now.

 “Try an’ breathe.” The teal blood instructs, showing him what he meant. The seadweller watched him before he tried to mimic. As he started to calm, Garlen came over.

 The yellow blood gently slipped his hands under the cardigan Astral wore and felt the swollen stomach. He looked very calm, even as he pressed his hand into a groove under his stomach but above his hip. Astral instantly relaxed.

 “How long have you been having contractions?”

 “About an hour now…”

 “Alright, how close have they been together?”

 “I don’t know… twenty minutes? Maybe less.”

 “Alright.” He turns to you, “I’ll bring him down and deliver the grub. I’m afraid he cannot help out anymore like this. He could start delivering any time now.”

 You start to sweat heavily. You nod and help the seadweller to his feet. Garlen is instructing him on things that will happen and you catch him telling the highblood to “press on that area I was pressing before, it will still the muscles from cramping and slow the labour until we get downstairs.”

 You watch them leave. The teal blood walks away and gathers the box Astral dropped into his hands and takes several more before walking away. You go to grab several crates yourself and almost bump heads with Gamzee.

 You jump and he looks at you as if he’s a lost baby barkbeast. He straightens with two crates, which is considerably less than either of you could handle without struggle and sighs.

 “Ah, sorry my wickedest brother. I ain’t all and seeing you there!” he sounds worried and tired, his voice rasping as he spoke as if he’s been shouting. Or crying.

 “It is alright. I should have been looking as well. What is the matter, highbl- Gamzee?”

 He looks around before he answers “I can’t find baby crab.”

 “Karkat? I’m sure he is trying to gather some supplies or already downstairs.” You look around yourself because you haven’t seen Karkat since the announcement about the storm the day before last. He had seemed a little out of it at the meeting and hadn’t talked to anyone. Including his moirail “I’m sure he is fine. He is very capable.”

 “I motherfuckin’ know that! My palest of brothers isn’t right in his head as of late though. I get my motherfuckin’ worry on! He motherfuckin’ walked off this evening and I ain’t up and seen him since. I think that grub is up and messing with his pan!”

 You not sure how true that is, but you can understand his worry. If Nepeta or Aradia were just as vulnerable as Karkat is right now, he would be tearing holes in the walls to find them.

 “If we bring these downstairs into the shelter, I will help you locate him.”

 Gamzee looks at you with bright eyes and a little smile “Thank you so much my blue blooded brother. That would be mighty motherfuckin’ fine!”

 He grabs another two crates and trots away. You take a few more crates and follow him. There is a crowd and you have to nudge past people as you go just to keep up with Gamzee. He gets a natural wide berth with everyone trying to escape him. You almost lose sight of him several times.

 When you arrive at the evacuation hold, Gamzee is struggling to get past the reams of trolls at the entrance because no one really is sure what to do from there. No one was actually giving him any space from here because there is no space to give him. You watch as he practically dumps the crates down onto one of the piles.

 “Geez, take i’ easy man!” one troll shouts after him as he runs up to you, takes the crates your holding and again runs back to throw them onto the pile. This time there are no complaints, probably because they realised who it was.

 He runs back up to you and grins dopily. No matter how long you know him, you will never quite understand him or how he works.

 “Let’s go and locate Karkat. Have you checked your respiteblock?”

 “Uh huh.” Gamzee nodded.

 “And have you checked anywhere else?”

 “I’ve been up and looking motherfuckin’ everywhere I’ve motherfuckin’ been, blueblooded brother!”

 “I see. We should see if anyone else has seen him.” You rub the back of your neck, which is dripping with sweat. He starts to wander back through the crowd and you make sure to stick closer to his wide berth this time, as not to lose him.

 Marching against the current is still difficult though and you practically have to be on Gamzee’s support bone to keep with him. On the way back up, you see two trolls that catch your interest. A young rust blood, like Aradia. Straight haired and chubby, she pushed a four wheel device with an extremely old troll sat in it.

 He was wearing a thick blanket around him but, despite this, was shivering. He was wearing thick sunglasses and wearing different clothes than before, but your recognised him as the troll that was rescued from the same ship as Karkat, the Helmsman, the Psiioniic. One of the true followers of the Signless Sufferer. He looked up at you and, although you are sure he is blind now, seems to know who you are. He holds out a weak hand to Gamzee as he gets closer.

 “You will need to thearch for Karkat thoon with that thorm coming. He’th gone for a walk, but he might not realise he’th in danger.”

 “Why the motherfuck not?”

 “He’th talking to Kankri.”

 You and Gamzee look at each other. You have a vague idea of who ‘Kankri’ might be and, if you are correct, then he might indeed be in trouble. Gamzee suddenly turns and sprints down the corridor. You mutter a thank you and chase after him.

 You don’t have to look too hard for Gamzee. He has run to the door where some guards have been stationed.

 “Let me through motherfuckers! Karkat is out there. He ain’t motherfuckin’ safe! I need to protect him.”

 “No one i’ out there Gamzee. We woulda noticed if he wa’ out there man.” The guard said. He looked nervous but undisturbed by Gamzee’s screaming. You stop beside him and look the guard straight in the eye.

 “We have reason to believe that Karkat may be outside or in some place that could put him as significant danger of being caught in the storm. We need to get outside to locate him as soon as we can. Preferably before the storm hits.”

 “I can’t allow you do that, you might endanger yourselve’. We don’t need him, but we do need you two. ‘o, no.”

 “Yes.”

 “No.”

 “Yes.”

 “No.”

 “Oh fiddle sticks.” You grab the troll about the shoulder and fling him aside, literally. The other guard is not so brave and backs off instantly. You unlock and open the door. A blast of the gale outside hits you expectantly.

 Gamzee doesn’t seem to notice as he steps outside. You close the door behind you and stand and look around you. The desolate landscape has a few cone trees and mountains in the distance and little else. There is a hill though and you would not be able to see what is on the other side unless you were on top of it.

 You tap Gamzee’s arm and run up the mound of earth before coming to a halt. The wind hits you again, and although it is refreshingly cool, you cannot enjoy it because Karkat must be freezing where you can see him beside the small creek the runs through the valley below. You don’t know how he is standing at first because the wind is pulling his cloak sideways. Then you realise that he is standing in the water itself.

 Gamzee runs down and screams through the storm “Karkat!”

 You can just hear him as you pursue him.

 Karkat seems to be wading across the water without even noticing that he was standing in water. When you get closer, you notice that he is muttering to himself about something. Gamzee ran into the water and only touched the sides of his moirail’s shoulders when Karkat screamed and wretched himself from Gamzee’s grip.

 “No! No! Don’t touch me! Fuck off! Leave me alone!” he screamed as he landed in the water. His head was submerged completely by the time Gamzee pulled him out the water and you had made it to his side. Karkat coughed and screamed and gargled the little water that had gotten into his mouth. He howled and struggled in Gamzee’s grip.

 “Karkat! Cease this struggling, we are your friends! We want to protect you!”

 “Bro. Calm the motherfuck down!” Gamzee wrapped his arms around Karkat’s shoulders and dragged his soaked body from the water. You lean down and take ahold of his legs, which he yanks and kicks. You manage to get a good hold of him without hurting him by the time you are out of the water.

 Gamzee looks very distressed at Karkat’s animalistic screams “I’m sorry! Just don’t hurt it! Don’t hurt him! Let me go! Fuck, let me go! I’m sorry!”

 You both carry him back to HQ. He calms by the time you get up the hill and Gamzee manages to adjust him so that he is being carried exclusively by his moirail. Eridan and Vriska are standing at the door when you return.

 “Is he alright?” Vriska asks you as Gamzee walks in. Eridan gives you a large blanket he has been holding and follows behind Gamzee, throwing one on him as he passes.

 “I don’t know. He was extremely upset when we retrieved him so I assume that he in so kind of delusional state. He was waist deep in water when we got him.”

 “Idiot! He’ll get sick, that’s the last thing he needs right now.”

 “I know.”

 You walk with her down to the shelter. When you get down there, Karkat is perfectly coherent again and is shivering violently. Eridan has wrapped a blanket around him and is handing him some clothes that Nepeta is holding. He then holds the blanket closed as he puts it on. Gamzee is sat next to him, with their wet clothes in a pile beside them. He hasn’t put a shirt back on yet and you are mildly pleased to see that he has finally gained a bit of weight.

 Vriska walks up to him “What the fuck were you up to?”

 “I don’t know. I was… it was like-“ he cuts off as he coughs violently “It was like I was dreaming.”

 “Sleepwalking was more like it. You can’t go wandering off like that, you’ll get sick. And that is the last thing you need right now.”

 “I know.” He breaks off into coughing again. Gamzee wraps the blanket around himself again and leaned into Karkat, who coughed a little bit longer before leaning into the crook of his neck. He closed his eyes. You turn and look at Aradia, who takes your hand and nods.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a long time coming, sorry about that. I was doing a course at work and I've had no time over then and the holidays but I'm back and I really want to do this. I'll be half way through this story soon and I want to make it to the end. Start what you finish my ma always said and that's what I intend to do. No, that is actually what she says. Don't ask me. Anyway, Gamzee this time and it's going to get worse for Karkat, I will warn you.

Gamzee

 You watch Karkat for a few minutes longer. He’s asleep right now, his head tilted to the side in the sopor. His face looks pale and drawn and very stressed even in his sleep. You sigh for what must be the umtillionth motherfuckin’ time this night. You rest your chin against the lip of the coon and think slowly and carefully about earlier.

 “I don’t remember it that well.” Your baby crab had explained “I was walking down this corridor, of the freighter ship I had been on. At the end of the corridor, was this doorway but it didn’t have a door. It had a curtain and when they pulled it back, there was a fuck ton of trolls standing around this stage. I was walked through the crowds and they were hissing and spitting at me. I was walked to this open area with a flogging jut in the center but instead of walking to that, this other guy in all black went instead. I couldn’t see who it was and I could hear someone screaming and crying. He was hooked up in these burning cuffs and I shouted at him and the next thing was that I was back at the ship, on the floor, as if it was back before I went into heat. When I looked up, I could still see the troll on the flogging jut on a screen and he was screaming in rage.”

 Everyone had understood it until that point. They had come to see him for an explanation on his behaviour during the storm. You had been force to help baby crab out of the recuperacoon and bundle his shivering body in blanket. He had coughed and hacked through most of the explanation and it wasn’t until the explanation took a stranger turn did he start to wonder if he was delirious.

 “Suddenly, I couldn’t feel anyone touching me and there was someone standing over me, dressed all in red. He kept saying ‘Yo, wake up Karkat. We’re going to be there soon.’ I had not fucking idea what he was talking about and he sounded funny but it was like I knew who he was. I recognised his voice. I knew who he was, like I met him before.”

 “What did he look like?” Terezita asks. She leans her stick thin arms on the back of the chair that has been abandoned in the room. She seems interested but has the look she gets during an interrogation, which motherfuckin’ annoys you.

 “He wasn’t a troll. He was pink and his hair was like straw coloured, no horns. He was dressed in these shitty red clothes and had sunglasses on but I’m sure I saw him before.”

 “Some form of alien. How strange, sounds disgusting and boring if you ask me.” She gives that wide grin that also annoys you, but on a lesser level. Karkat just looks tired as fuck at her.

 He has another coughing fit that you have to pat his back to get through and if this isn’t the motherfuckin’ palest you’ve ever been with him, then you are motherfuckin’ shocked.

 Everyone has questions, and it is slow and painful getting through all of them. Baby crab looks like he could do without this and that he isn’t particularly happy with having to do it anyway. You sit there and wrapped more blankets around him as he answers them all.

 Your jade sister comes and sits beside him on the pile and hands him what seems to be a crab toy to hold. The smell of heated herbs hits your nub and he snuggles into it before he looks at her proper and good.

 “I believe the first thing we should ask is how you feel?” Kanaya asks him. You look at her as if she was the most dumbest of motherfuckers to walk this universe.

 Karkles does not seem to agree “Like shit, but I feel fine enough to get through it. It’s just a cold, the grub should be fine too. I’ve been sicker than this whilst pregnant before. Plus, I can still feel it moving.”

 “Good, I was concerned for your health mostly. But I guess that you would be more stable with the grub well and healthy.”

 “Fuck yeah.”

 Sollux is leaning across from your baby crab, against the door “It thoundth like a halluthination to me, brought on by the cold.”

 “Yes, Sollux, I was having a fucking hallucination causing me to go out-fucking-side because of the cold I didn’t catch until I went out-fucking-side. That’s the best logic I’ve heard. Ever. In my life.” You chuckle as he leans into you and rubs his stomach with the toy.

 You look down at his ever slowing eyes and wonder the fuck why everyone don’t just wait till he is better. His grub must be squirming up a storm in there ‘cause Karkat can’t stop rubbing it. The crab is keeping his cool hands warmer though.

 The pinkest of sisters comes and kneels in front of your moirail. She looks intensely at him before asking “Are you sure you don’t need anything else Karkat? Some of soldiers are concerned that you are not quiet one hundred percent and might be a bit of a problem with the battles and all.”

 You flinch. Now that is a motherfuckin’ line. A motherfuckin’ line that ain’t have no business being crossed. You lean across and pull your pale brother to you noticeably. Petting between his horns, he starts to purr “Now that be enough motherfuckin’ questions for motherfuckin’ now. You ain’t gonna be up an’ cause my little Karbro problems now are ya?!”

 Kanaya nods at you before standing and waving goodbye, as does Tavbro, the spiderbitch and Catsis. Equius stands awkwardly holding the door, sweating dripping off him in buckets and Aradia is practically shoving him out the door.

 Karkat is asleep in your arms now, he gets motherfuckin’ tired so motherfuckin’ quickly now. The grub is well draining at him.

 “We’ll come back another time.”

 “Yeah, when he’s better pink sister.” You warn.

 She ignores it and steps out of the room all graceful like. Everyone follows. You look down and gently stroke the hair between his horns before nuzzling him there. You shift slowly until you can lift him. You walk over to the coon and the chair next to it before setting him down.

 You strip him of his clothes and the heating crabbie before picking him up and letting him sink down into the sopor. You decide to strip your own clothing before slipping in beside him and wrapping yourself around him all gentle.

 You fall asleep at some point or another and when you wake up, Karkat is murmuring to himself. You assume horrorterrors until he flinches at you sighing. You see he’s wide awake and boiling a kettle he’s so warm. You look properly at him, even turning to see his flushed face better when he turns away and whimpers.

 You touch his shoulder but he makes a terrible and pathetic squeak. Red tears trickle down his cheeks and sweat has his hair slapped up against his blotchy skin. You shoosh him gently as you rub down his shoulders. He hiccups and pulls away from you slightly. You pulling his gently on the shoulder back to you so you can hug him when screams and pulls away from you forcefully.

 You let him, hurt, the sharp pain going straight to your motherfuckin’ pusher. Karkat wraps his own arms around himself and shivers tirelessly despite his fever. You decide it is best to get out and let him alone for a while. He has probably had a bad horrorterror because of his fever.

 There is a lot more trolls about than you realise that it’s evening already and you have slept through morning meal and almost into breakfast. You’re starving and baby crab will be the same. You fancy yourself something hot and well burnt. And you’ll bring something for the Psiioniic because without baby crab he’d not get no food or anything.

 Rubbing your eyes you pass Sollux again. He grins at you and scowl at him.

 “Aw, don’t be like that GZ. I know you’re worried about Karkat and all but theriouthly. Chill, we’ve had a bit of a break for once.” He smirked. You’ve kinda figured out that motherfuckin’ grin only comes around if he’s filled a pail or two. The fish princess has been too busy so Eridan must have been putting out. Slut.

 “Sit on a motherfuckin’ pike pissblood!” You hiss at him.

 “Theriouthly chill out GZ, I jutht wanted to thee how KK wath. Jeez, you can’t half tell that KK’th been thick becauthe you are moody ath fuck. Normally you jutht go with the flow. What’th the deal?”

 You wonder if you should tell him. He’ll probably just dismiss it as nothing but you want him to see that you are really concerned and that everyone else should be too “He was motherfuckin’ awake there but wouldn’t let me motherfuckin’ touch him. I think he’s motherfuckin’ afraid of me!”

 “Maybe you thould get him to talk to Garlen. He might be able to help him relax. You don’t think he’th really been having vithionth do you?” he asks. He looks concerned all the sudden. You both walk into the communal nutrition block and pause to wait in line.

 “Yeah, he’s motherfuckin’ having visions. He ain’t lying to me nor anyone! It’s the bitchtits for everyone but him though. I can see that teal bitch having a motherfuckin’ laugh about it though, ain’t anything funny to be had!”

 “Thit, really? Tho he’th having vithionth, that meanth that he’th got the thame powerth as the Thufferer. I’ll have to tell FF and MT.”

 “MT?”

 “Mituna, the Pthiioniic. I got to talk to him thometimeth when I want advice. He knowth more about his powerth than I do. I feel like I thould learn ath much ath I can becauthe he’th getting old now and he might not thurvive until after the war. Bethideth I need him before then anyway.” He explains, taking a plate from the heating unit and handing you two. He reaches for a bowl as well but takes it with himself.

 There is the heavy smell of cooked food in the block makes you feel all sick but you get as much cooked meat as you can for both you and baby crab and Sollux gets something similar and the same porridge you always feed the Psiioniic in the evening.

 You walk back to the room and duck through the door. Baby crab is still in the pod though he is buried in the sopor with a blanket draped over his horns. He looks at you and hisses, backing himself up. You step forward, worried but lost as to what to do but your diamond sighs with relief.

 “Fuck me Gamzee, I thought you were… for a second I thought… never mind.” He sighs miserably. He sounds worse than before and looks completely out of it.

 “I brought me and thee some motherfuckin’ grub and you are going to motherfuckin’ eat this amazing smelling shit they sloped onto the plate!” It doesn’t smell great but it might to him.

 He nods slowly “I’ll eat it later, it’s too early right now.”

 “It ain’t early palebro, it’s motherfuckin’ evening.”

 “Too early…” he grumbles. You chuckle and put the plate on the lip of the coon and he looks at it though one lazy peeper and blows a few bubbles through the slime “Sorry about thinking you were him.”

 “What?!”

 “Thinking you were the Grand…” he’s asleep again. He’s asleep and you have to wipe tears away on your own. You won’t cry, not when that motherfuckin’ motherfucker did this to Karkat and he ain’t cry. You need to be strong for all of you. He’s your diamond, your precious, your everything. And you can’t wait to get your mits on that motherfucker’s horns. You’ll destroy him for your moirail.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry notes are coming slowly, I've been too busy lately but term holidays always bring some spare time, so hopefully I will get some more posted soon.

Mituna

 Sleep consists of most of his time now. He doesn’t spend much time awake because there is nothing to be awake for anymore. He dreams now. And when he is awake, he wonders if this was what it was like for Kankri, to see visions rather that horrorterrors in the day. It doesn’t worry him all that much anymore. He is old. Dying. Hopefully dying.

 Part of him wants to stay around long enough to ensure that Meiura is hatched safe and sound, but he already knew that’s not going to happen. Karkat will be gone by then, he won’t be able to see Kankri’s descendant have a descendant himself. It’s probably for the best though.

 He sees the missions of trolls he does not know in his visions. Most of them look like they are from the rebellion and Mituna enjoys watching them as they work towards their common goal. It is nice to see trolls act compassionately towards each other. It is nice to see the dream Kankri had for them in all of them.

 This particular vision is one he is not particularly enjoying but he must watch it. He has to gather this information, it is important.

 Karkat is asleep in his recuperacoon. His face is still slightly drained of colour but the flush of fever is gone from his cheeks. He is almost completely submerged, with the sopor over his up-tilted chin. Though Mituna didn’t see it, he knows his moirail has gone to get some food for them. He would be a while because he planned to eat it in the communal messhall so the breeder could sleep uninterrupted.

 It wouldn’t have mattered of course, he was out cold. It’s a shame that the indigoblood was so tender to the redblood because it might have stopped the monster sneaking into his room.

 He knew Thoule was trouble when he first saw him in a vision. He was screaming at Terezi about something. She had been crying and had walked away, Sollux had tried to comfort her, then Vriska, but both were rejected until she had calmed herself down. The troll he had cheated on her with was slim and tall and seemed generally concerned about her upset, apparently not having realised that they were in the red quadrant. It had been too late of course, the damage had been done and Thoule had walked away from the relationship as casually as he had walked into it.

 Now the teal blood was slowly closing the door behind him and gently trying to muffle the click of the door with his hand. He walked up to Kankri’s heir and waved his hand above his head, like he was trying to get his attention. When he didn’t wake, he snorted and looked away.

 He snuck past the sleeping troll, whose mouth was now hanging up. He walked up to the opposite corner of the block Karkat was sleeping in.

 He uncaptchalogued a small stealth drill and a hand full of tiny insect sized devices. Stepping up the pile of boxes and crates that had been shoved up against the wall, out of the way, he reached up and positioned the insect against the wall. Checking Karkat to make sure he was still asleep, he turned and used the drill to silently pin the devices to the wall.

 He uncaptchalogued another device, a small palmhusk with a dial and two sliders to the side of it. He turned it on, typed in a code and moved through the files and programmes on the device. Mituna had never seen one before, but instantly recognised the small grid full of black squares in it. He tapped the device and a coloured screen appeared in the corner of the grid. Thoule tapped it and the screen became bigger as he zoomed in on it and looked at the reflection of himself looking down at the device. He nodded with approval and captchalogued it again.

 Slowly, he slipped down off the pile and across the room to the other side, opposite Karkat. He did the same on this side of the room, and again in the corner across from that. He then moved slowly to the corner nearest Karkat.

 The redblood slept on until he passed close beside him. Karkat’s breath hitched and he murmured something in his sleep. Thoule went ridged and almost dashed out the door again when Karkat sighed and settled, shifting in the sopor slime until he was curled up and pawing his mits up against his chest.

 Thoule sucked in a deep breath and slowly sighed. He tip toed over to the corner, placing a camera there as well. He smirked and chuckled quietly to himself, checked the device as he had before when he stepped away from the wall, catching his leg on a screw sticking out of one of the piled boxes in the room. One of Gamzee’s trinkets.

 It caught the already tense troll of guard and he swore loudly. This jolted Karkat from his sleep, but his eyes fluttered slowly, his head turning sluggishly to the wrong direction. Thoule took the opportunity and dashed out of the room. Karkat turned back around in time to see the blurry image of a troll in all black running out the door.

 “What?” he mumbled slowly when the door closed. Blinking sleep from his eyes, he slowly pulled his sore body out of the recuperacoon and slide himself down to the floor, his distended stomach told him he was due soon.

 Slime dripped from him as he walked across the room towards the doorway. He took his cloak in his hand and wrapped it around himself before opening the door and walking through it to look. The corridor was quiet and he suddenly felt a strange fear come over him and wished dearly for Gamzee, who was no doubt helping the rebels.

 He stroked his stomach and turned back to the room, coughs rattling him heavily. He was about to return to his coon when he noticed a strange colour. The teal colour was bright in contrast against the dark floor. It was on the wrong side of the room to be paint from Gamzee’s mural. Blood then.

 He touched the lip of the coon before sliding down to his knees, he coughed again, shaking in fear. Blood, there was blood on the floor. Blood from a person who didn’t not belong in the room.

 He heard the padding of bare coming down the corridor and stop outside the door. They then came running in and cold arms wrapped around his shoulder. He was sobbing between Gamzee’s shooshes.

 “There was someone in here.” He hacked “Someone was in here.”

 “Shoo… no one is here, baby crab.” He whispered “Ain’t no motherfuckers ‘cept us!”

 Mituna woke from his vision. He rolled his head over to the side to see Sollux sat next to him, tapping away on this husktop. He sucked in a deep breath, tears streaking his old, withered cheeks. The younger looked at him slowly.

 “What did you thee?” he asked.

 “The start of the end.”


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well this chapter has been a long time coming. I've lost interest in this story and have decided to not make chaptered fanfics again, but I will finish this. One-shots from now on though.

Karkat

 You spend about a week recovering once the worst of the cold passes. You would normally bounce back in a few days but with a grub in your body, your body’s defences have taken a beating. You feel worn out but are still glad to be eating in the main mess hall.

 It’s fucking enormous with several kitchen areas. The largest kitchen is across from it and produces most of the food for the hungry trolls to eat. There are also two smaller kitchens on either side of it with long windows connecting them so the rebellion could queue up for their meals. There’s nowhere near enough food for everyone here but they seem to have converted several rooms exclusively for growing and breeding food.

 Gamzee pats you back and you jump out of the daze you’ve gone into. The tray in your hand isn’t tilted slightly so you straighten it. The troll in from of you, a wiggler-faced rust blood with a terrible case of face speckles stares at you wide eyed before swallowing and saying “D-do ya want some mooore?” he stammers.

 The ladle in his hand is full of some strange orange paste that may or may now be mashed crunchy cone.

 “Uh… sure. Yeah, I probably need it.”

 You shyly look at Gamzee who looks rather concerned and tired, you’ve been keeping him up with nightmares and constantly getting up to piss. Beyond him there is another troll with horns similar to Tavros’ with a curl at either end. He is looking at you somewhat funny and part of you, the young stubborn part from your youth, potentially trapped in your horns, wants to snap ‘What the fuck are you looking at?!’ but the words never come.

 You quickly look to the other side and the three trolls next to you are looking much the same way at you. You bow your head and shuffle closer to Gamzee as you move down the line and accepted mashed green pips. There is not a lot of meat on the menu.

 When you make it to the main table, Nepeta passes you a slice of grubloaf from a bowl on the long table. Feferi is absent but Sollux and Eridan are there in deep conversation. Kanaya is also taking a rest, thankfully, but Equius arrives at the table after you.

 “I trust you are feeling better today, Vantas.”

 “Yeah, I’m not coughing my breathing apparatus out anymore at least. I still feel like shit though.”

 “You’ll feel like fur a while after that cold. You’ll be tired fur a mew days too.” Nepeta purrs to your right. Equius takes a seat beside her when Eridan suddenly stands and makes a loud clatter as he walked out of the room. As he passes, he dumps his plate beside yours and you see a small fish, untouched, on it.

 Sollux looks as shocked as you four do. His hand is comically frozen mid-air and he almost looks smacked. The hand drops and he hums thoughtfully at the seatroll storming, rather dramatically, out of the block.

 “What was that all motherfuckin’ up and about?” Gamzee drawls. You scrap the fish onto your plate because suddenly you’re really hungry.

 “Have not a fuckin’ clue. He geth like that thometimeth.”

 “When was he not like that?” Nepeta grumbles snidely. You cough back a laugh. Gamzee is not so subtle. Equius grins awkwardly. Suddenly everyone is looking up at the indigo blood and at you by extension.

 You suddenly feel very small. Everyone is just staring. Gamzee is not subtle about anything, especially his laugh, but that does not make it any easier for you because everyone tends to pass their gaze to you after a while, as if blaming you for be annoying ways. He’s not annoying, he’s fucking adorable but that does not make it any nicer.

 You bow you head as low as possible, losing any of the humour Nepeta had created. Gamzee chuckles for a little longer before noticing your bowed head.

 “Hey, what’s motherfuckin’ wrong?!” he pats your back gently. You just lower your head more. Everyone thinks the grub is making you mad. It’s not true but still you feel insecure about it. You feel your face burning up with it and curl even further into myself.

 Gamzee leans into your neck and nuzzles the skin there, he slings his arm over your shoulder and pulls in you closer. But you can still feel the eyes staring at you. The rest of the meal is in silence on the top table.

 Later in the day a message went around the generals about a meeting on the next steps with the rebellion. You and Gamzee were asked to join the meeting so now you were walking down the corridor, clinging to his hand. He smiles patiently down at you as you practically hang from his arm.

 The room was crowded as you walk in. Everyone looks at you as you both walk in. A few of the fuckwads who Feferi called generals are watching you with distain as Gamzee walks you beside Sollux who steps to the side to make room for the sheer size of the indigoblood. He grins lopsidedly at you and this makes you feel a little more comfortable to have one of your dearest friends beside you right now. There is less doubt in Sollux about what you saw than the others but that’s because he knows you’re not the kind of troll to lie about that kind of shit.

 “Good of you the join us Second Sufferer.” Geelth hissed. Top bugle number two. You had to admire him for one thing, Geelth feared no one. It might get him killed one day but until then, you had to put up with his shit. He must have been clocked one recently because his nose was broken again.

 “I had other engagements.” You pat your belly for emphasis.

 He smirks at you in a knowing way “Having visions of aliens and accusing trolls of being in your room I hear.”

 You tense and grit your fangs at him, why doesn’t he just go fuck? Gamzee growls audible at your side and Geelth growls right back. He smiled at him as Gamzee slings his arms around your shoulders and you gently touch them.

 “Anyway… we were going to discuss some battle tactics.” Feferi explained “There have been several supply vessels spotted in the D17 sector, however they have all been guarded since your rescue. We believe this has given us an excellent opportunity to attack them. We are going to meet them head on now we have the supplies and troll power to launch a descent attack within the next few weeks. That will deal a great blow to the Empire, as well as make the Old Guppy doubt her own forces.”

 Sollux pointed at one of the maps laid across the table. You can’t pretend to make horns nor tails of the damned thing but you assume that it’s an old star map with planets in between. There was a line of green across the map that looked like a join-the-dots loop between the planets.

 “Thith ith the route that the tranthporterth are taking. They uthually have two thmaller attack thipth though the bigger freighterth tend to have anywhere between three or four attack thipth, it dependth if there’th a big one or not.”

 “What’s the plan?” Vriska asked. She was standing with a tired looking Terezi.

 “We’ll be thending you, TZ, TV, AA, EQ and me. We will lead a vethel to fathe them head on giving the illuthion that we are going headlong into an attack but, with thome upgraded ethcape podth the new engineering crew have been working on, we will attack from the thide where they leatht expect it.”

 “Sounds like fun.” Nepeta purred. You nod to her from across the room in agreement. You would be a liar if you didn’t admit that you wanted a little bit of action yourself. The last time you had a descent fight was in threshecutioner training.

 Feferi grinned “We will attack the suckers from the side, focusing mostly on the flag ships defence systems. Once those are disabled, we’ll move on with demobilising them and the main ship. We’ll then disable their weapon systems, at which point we will raid them. Any questions?”

 A few hands rose. Feferi gestured to Gamzee, which made Karkat feel like all eyes were on him again. He rubbed his stomach “What and motherfuck is the point of disabling their motherfuckin travel shit before disabling their motherfuckin guns man?”

 A few of the hands dropped.

 “They cannot pursue us if they cannot move. They can shoot but we plan to use the supply vessel as our cover.”

 “They cannot shoot unless they risk their cargo.” One the captains from the front said.

 “Exactly.”

 “So, we should use electro pulse canons on the capsules. I’ll have the supply decker’s load them up later.” One of the generals shouted from the back. Someone bumped into your back and you look behind you at Aradia, who smiles at you.

 You give her a funny look when she pointed at the door and leaned in. She whispers into your ear “You look nervous. Maybe you should talk to Mituna about this break in issue. If he can see the future, maybe he’ll be able to see what Thoule’s motives are?”

 You nod at her “Alright.”

 The meeting ending swiftly with a few alterations to the original plans when general suggested different troops and squads to go into different positions and battle formations. It took nearly an hour to get away from Sollux and Terezi, who both wanted to know how you were doing after the private meeting in your hiveblock.

 When you finally break free from their pestering you practically run down the corridor to Mituna’s respiteblock. He is kept near the meeting rooms in case he needs to be consulted and there was always a guard or two posted to keep an eye and ear on him.

 There is only one now and she looks less than pleased about being there. She is sat sewing what looks like a pair of moobeast pants and when you charge up she doesn’t even flinch or get up or try to stop you. Good. You like them that way.

 The room itself has changed drastically over the last few weeks due to Mituna’s declining health. You had hoped he could see the face of your grub once it’s born but your suspect he might now make it.

 There are machines and monitors and wires very similar to his helmsrigg hooked up to him and although you know they support his life, you feel disgusted looking at them and seeing him wired up. Protests against them were basically ignored but then again, Kanaya has never suffered fools gladly. Hence why Eridan was still weary of her.

 Mituna turned his head stiffly to look at you “Wriggler? You’ve come to visit?”

 “I’m here for some advice but I don’t mind giving you some company if you want.” You take up the stool.

 “There’s no need. There are several who come regularly. Sufferists most of them but that descendant of mine, he comes to talk plenty. He’s pleasant enough to keep company with, even if he is a bit negative.”

 “I can’t really blame him, he sees the death of his friends all the time. Even if he is a shit.”

 “So, what advice do you want me to give you?”

 “Well… Thoule’s been in my room but I can’t prove the fucker’s been there and the little cluckshit knows it. It’s shit knowing your friends don’t believe you, especially because they think you’re going sqeakwingbeast crazy.”

 “I remember the first time Kankri told us about the dreams he used to have of the other world. Beforus he called it. I’m not entirely sure if I believed him at first. I’m also sure he knew. He became very cagey about them to us for a while after that but after some time, I asked him to tell me more about it because I realised that he generally believed that, even if I didn’t.

 “The world he told me about… it was paradise compared to Alternia. It wasn’t ideal, and he told me as much. He told me that the people were still heavily oppressed because they were all basically forced into the pale quadrant with a highblood if they were a lowblood. He told me that many just didn’t appreciate the freedom they did have, no matter how little it was. They didn’t have to fear for their life, they would be sheltered and protected and were allowed to do things within reason and befriend anyone they wanted no matter what colour their blood was.”

 “Sounds like fucking heaven.” you sigh.

 “Yes. It did to me and he told me of how they threw it all away. He told me that one day, maybe in another time, we would throw away this universe just the same way. I asked him how they did it and I remember it so clearly. He fixed me this look and said very seriously ‘All I remember is the meteors coming, then a blast of light.’”

 “That doesn’t make much fucking sense.”

 “No it doesn’t, but that isn’t the point. I came to believe his word, even though he couldn’t prove it, because he was my friend and I trusted what he trusted in. Give your friends time and they will come to realise that you are not just throwing shit out there because of madness or attention. You are being serious and are scared. You’re moirail believes you, right?”

 “I hope so.” You slump your shoulders. Of course you have your doubts but it’s not like you don’t think he doesn’t believe you. He just doesn’t know how to deal with it without evidence. He’d probably pop Thoule’s head off if he could get away with it.

 “Then the rest will follow in time. He should keep you safe in the meantime.” He leans over stiffly and pats you on the knee “Between you and me, I saw him playing around in your respiteblock. You might want to clean those spider webs away when you get back.”

 You catch his meaning “Thank you. I’ll see you soon, I fucking exhausted.”

 “You’ll be from now on I’m afraid.”

 “Bye.”

 “See you soon.”


	15. Chapter 15

Terezi

 You had been resting at your desk, looking at the plans and going over them repeatedly looking for flaws in them. Many of the others in the office have left earlier but you have refused to leave until you are satisfied that everything is in order.

 You rub your nose and stretch slowly. The room is stale and dark and dull and you desperately need a rest but you must finish this and you will not take no for an answer. Nor a half-hearted plan. It was annoying as shit but you push yourself through because the canteen staff have promised to keep a rarely served sugargrub cakes. You are positively drooling over those deviously colourful food but will not enjoy your reward until you have completed your work for the day.

 You are about to complete your second review of the plan when some large rustblood comes running in looking like they had accidently pissed on a cholerbear.

 “Neophyte! Neophyte! It’s your matesprite and the second sufferer! They… they…” they squawked jabbing this twice broken finger at the door.

 “What?” you stand up and march to the door, following them as they lead you to what everyone has taken to calling the training arena, which is mostly a large view walkwayed block with training gear rudely dumped in it for everyone to show off in.

 On the far side stood a group of trolls, most of which you recognise as many of the generals. Thoule is among them like they are his posse of barkbeast to play at his ever beck and call. Karkat is nearly alone say for one of the breeder trolls, the one with the hat who keeps mostly to himself and carries his little seadweller grub everywhere with him since it was born. He had the grub in one arm and a hold on Karkat in the other.

 Karkat is anything but calm. He is right up in Thoule’s face, no bars held, with his finger nearly touching the teal’s nose. You sniff for Gamzee who is nowhere to be found. Fucking typical.

 You storm over and start to get an idea of what the less than civilised discussion is about.

 “I don’t know where this sudden obsession with me has come from or what but you better back off soon or that grub won’t protect you from the discipline I’m gonna dish out to you.” Thoule sneers.

 “Please sir, ignore him and get some rest. This stress is bad for ya.” Hat Troll says. He tugs too gently, as if frightened of hurting Karkat.

 “Oh, so you’re not fucking afraid to dish out threats then, but you’re willing to deny something I have evidence for.” He holds out a buggrub you use in intergation blocks in the Empire.

 “And how do we know you didn’t just pick that up randomly?” shouts one of the generals from the back.

 “Exactly.” says Thoule, clearly going into his version of legislacerator cross examination.

 “And why the fuck would I do that?!”

 Thoule sniggers “Simple. Because you’re jealous.”

 The look Karkat gives him is somewhere between almost feral-level fury and disgust at his accusation. You realise that it is possibly true that Karkat still likes you in a red way, in fact it’s very likely, but it has never occurred to you that he would do something like this in jealousy. He just wouldn’t. He isn’t _that_ controlling or obsessive, even if he isn’t exactly the most ideal matesprite in the universe.

 Hat Troll looks horrified by the idea and insists that Karkat leaves before a fight breaks out and you kind of agree with him.

 “It’s not just that!” shouts another troll from the back of the hall, leaning up against the wall in an asshole way “He’s become fucking insane because of that fucking grub.”

 “That is not true you fucking nooksniffer!” he yanks his arm free of Hat Trolls grip “My head is fucking clear as ever you shit and unlike you fucking woolbeast flocks, I don’t need to hide or pretend shit about anything!” he walked straight back up to Thoule and had his finger nearly touching his nub.

 You run in, having had enough.

 “Stop it! Karkat! What’s going on? What’s the meaning of this?!” you gesture to the crowd, some of whom are sniggering.

 “I finally found some fucking proof of this shit breaking into my block and fucking spying on my moirail and me!” he holds up the buggrub for you to smell. You suck in the smell through your sniffnodes. It’s one of your teams.

 “It’s one of ours, Karkat. It doesn’t mean that Thoule has put it in your room to spy on you. He’s come to talk to you before now, hasn’t he? Maybe it caught onto his clothing and fell off in your block.”

 “In the fucking corner of the ceiling, of the far wall. Shit, maybe he managed to just swat it upwards and just happen to stick up there and a nail drilled its way into it on its own, huh!” he snapped, disbelief over his features.

 “Maybe they were already there. We were already here before you arrived. Maybe it was installed with the intention of making that the interrogation room.”

 “Yes, because windows are exactly what an interrogation room needs. Come off it Terezi! He’s trying to spy on me for some bizarre, outlandish reason and I’m not fucking having it! I want this bastard investigated and fucking reprimanded.”

 You sigh “For what?”

 “Invasion of privacy for a start. And you should probably check he’s not a spy for the Empire whilst you at it-“

 You shake your head furiously “Get real Karkat. That’s hornbeastshit and you know it!”

 Hat Troll nods shyly behind him, the grub in his arms crying. Karkat flinches at the noise, and it actually seems to relax him. He slumps and crosses his arms and glances back at the crying grub and its breeders. You rub your tired temple.

 “Karkat, can I speak to you? In private?” you say wearily because you have had enough of this horseshit.

 He nods hesitantly and starts back towards the main entrance. Blood hushes to your face when you realise that pretty much everyone has taken up audience and fuck if you aren’t too old to be embarrassed by trolls staring at you.

 Hat Troll looks like he could just tug his hat over his face with embarrassment. You feel sorry for him because his grub is screaming its little violet head off and drawing even more attention to him. It’s only made worse by some oliveblood shouting from the overstand to shut it up. He draws it closer and walks away. You can smell the violet at the corner of his eyes, weak and watery. Salty like the water he grew up in. He must be out of his depth, being in this sometimes horrible place.

 You follow Karkat, ignoring the glare you’re getting from Thoule and his general buddies.

 He’s waiting for you in the corridor. His arms are still crossed but the anger has returned to his face. You march straight up to him and this time, you jab your finger at his face.

 “What is your problem?!” you shout at him, but he doesn’t flinch.

 “I thought that was blatantly clear.” He growls.

 “No! Just admit it! You’re jealous. You’re jealous because I got with Thoule and not you and that is getting to you because of that grub.”

 He looks generally hurt by that comment “If it hasn’t occurred to you, being pregnant doesn’t affect your head like you lot think. What happened to you? You used to trust me. What happened to the Terezi who would have investigated something if I was generally that concerned about it? Did the Empire kill her off as well?”

 You ignore his bitter tone “You’re just causing problems where problems don’t need to be caused. Why don’t you just fuck off trying to get attention and actually do something serious for a change?”

 You haven’t been so angry with him, ever. How dare he accuse you of changing, when he’s the one that changed!

 Gamzee walks up behind him and is instantly by his side to pat his cheek. He’s more hurt than angry now. You know that because he hasn’t answered you. He just shakes his head and slowly turns, walking away.

 You have a feeling that those sugargrub cakes are not going to taste so sweet.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait, I've been buried under by work and personal shit. I would really love to finish this and get it all done and I know it seems increasing less likely but it will. I will scrap the fucker out of my brain if I have to. Enjoy.

Gamzee

 Babycrab isn’t looking to peachy when you finally get your glutes back to your block. His skin is all pale and sweaty and he is making this strained face like he’s in pain something awful. You touch on his shoulders but he shakes you off like you just bit him.

 “Bro…” you chirp pathetically.

 “Shit! Gamzee. It’s coming. The grub… it’s… fuck!”

 Well that sets you’re digestive sack falling and you cannot think for a sudden because shit, this cannot be happening. Karkat said it was too early. He shouldn’t be going yet and the grub should be still safe inside his gut and fuck!

 You’re going to skin that tealbitch if it kills you.

 Not knowing what to do, you scoop Babycrab up like some plushtoy and bundle him close and are out the door faster than is safe. He’s all shaky and boiling something like his fever which scares you worse than chucklevoodoos. He clings to you and his belly and lets out this pitiful moan. You’re nearly sick with how weak it sounds.

 Everyone moves out of your way as you barrel your way through the halls. They don’t want to be in the way of a charging behemoth carrying a grey bundle in his stems. You nearly knock several of the generals over, Thoule among them, and feel a wisp of glee at the thought.

 The medical bay has two other patients in it and your jadesister is treating a burnt hand of some rust you can’t see behind the curtain. She looks horrified at you when you barge something noisy into her bay but another jade sis is there and trying to pry Babycrab from your arms before you can explain, but you don’t let go because you need Kanaya, not this random shithorns.

 Garlen comes in from where he’s been talking to someone and he gently pats your elbow and leans in close to Karkat.

 “What’s wrong Karkat? What happened?”

 “The grub’s coming…” he mutters all tired, the pain seeming to have passed for now.

 “Alright” he turns to the not-Kanaya-jade “Do you have a mild sedative? Something we can use to calm him down?”

 “We have a drug used to calm highblood in a blood rage. It’s a gas, but we can give him a mask.”

 “That will work. Hopefully, a light dose only. We don’t know how his body will react to it.” He beckons for you to an op platform and you gently place Karkat onto it. He groans weakly at you and his hand slips down from you shoulder to you hand, which he grips something fierce.

 The jadesis from before comes over and sets up this huge gas tank and goes off to get something else. She’s taking her fucking time nice and easy and it sets you more on edge than before. How casual can you motherfuckin’ get.

 Garlen pressed against Kar’s swell gently and asks that he roll over. He then presses some more.

 “Well, it’s not in position. That’s a good sign, it means that the pains might be a false alarm. Are the pains coming in waves?”

 A nod.

 He sucks in this rattling sigh “Well, hopefully the gas will help relax you. You’re getting too stressed Karkat. You should be trying to take it easy, I know that’s easy for me to say given the circumstances, but you need to try.”

 “That matesprite of Terezi’s been causin’ some mighty motherfuckin’ trouble! Karkat up and thinks that he be spyin’ something on us and got all stressed when no troll believed him.” You explain.

 Garlen nods his old head, he looked down at Babycrab’s head as the not-Kanaya-jade came in and strapped some mask to his face. She then attached it to the tank and set some monitor with a pressure gage that looks like it had been taped together going.

 You watch as the gas relaxes Karkat until he’s nearly asleep. You run your fingers through his hair the whole while. He looks up at you every now and then, but there is no emotions that you can pick out of his red eyes.

 After a while, they turn off the gas and remove the mask and when they do, he just looks so pitiful and out of it at the same time. You gently stroke his cheek and run your thumb over his scarred knuckled again and again.

 “Karkat…” Kanaya comes over “Are you feeling better? Has the pain subsided?”

 “Uh… think so…” he sounds kinda like Tavbro. You shoosh him as he whimpers and little tears fall from his eyes “Thought I lost it…”

 He curls up even tighter and sobs. He ran his hand over his belly. You feel your own belly tighten at the thought. Kanaya sat down on the other side and leaned over him.

 “What happened?” she says all soft like.

 “Thoule’s been spying on us! He wants to motherfuckin’ make Babycrab mad and blame it on the grub so they will get motherfuckin’ rid of him. Well they be needin’ to get through me!”

 “Did he confront him?”

 You just nod at her.

 “Oh no. Thoule is a monster Karkat, he’s not afraid to be underhand to get at people he doesn’t like for whatever reason. He’s good at what he does and there is a reason for that. He’s ruthless and is happy to make others suffer. We have kept him this long only because he couldn’t have him in the hands of the enemy.”

 “Kill him then…” you hear your diamond mutter back.

 “I wish it were that simple. He and Terezi had to work together to get all the legislacerators to join us. They weren’t willing beforehand.”

 “What if we were to get some motherfuckin proof on this bitch? We could just get the motherfuckin kick on him then can’t we?!” you hiss.

 “If we could, but it would be difficult. He made a point of befriending most of the generals and they only seem to be able to agree on one thing at a time. My advice is to gather everyone and show them how much this is affecting Karkat, they might listen if they see how badly it’s stressing him out.”

 Garlen nods “Having a grub doesn’t make you mad, everyone around you telling you that does is what makes you mad. How about I go find the others, you need to be with Karkat right now.”

 You nod because there is shit all else you can think to do. You rub little circles against Karkat’s paw and shoosh him gentle and soft. Kanaya stands and draws some curtain around you both so you can have some privacy.

 Babycrab is asleep completely when Garlen returns. He whispers “They’re all here, I’ve brought them into the next room so you don’t disturb him. I’ll watch over him, if you like.”

 You nod and tiptoe quiet as a squeakbeast out of the room into the meeting room next door, where everyone is standing around like they know who stole the Faygo. The tealbitch is standing something cocky by the door when you come in. You snarl at her so she knows that you ain’t taking shit from no one.

 Everyone is looking something annoyed at you but you don’t care. This is serious and you show that when you look at them with a scowl.

 “What’s this about Gamzee?” Tavbro asks, all innocent like, normally that would have melted your pusher but it doesn’t this time, this time you are too angry to get your melt on.

 “Let me guess. Karkat’s thrown a tantrum even though he was warned about not having a go at Thoule and now no one believes his hoofbeast shit because he’s making it all up.”

 “Is that what he told you, tealsis?”

 “I can make my own decisions, thank you very much!” she snaps.

 “Well it don’t sound half like you’re motherfuckin’ copying him!” you snap back. Aradia stands in between the two of you, she looks over at everyone all serious like.

 “I think we should sort this out, because this is starting to get out of hand. Perhaps we should discuss this with Karkat himself?” she looks at you.

 “I believe he’s asleep right now.” Kanaya pitches in instead.

 “I think we have to just accept that he’s losing his pan because of this grub.” Bluesis drawls, which grates on every one of your nerves. She looks so smug as she does it too.

 “I don’t think he is.” Nepeta says, her hair all fresh cropped and curly around her horns.

 “Okay, doeth it really matter what we think? We need to have a vote on thith. Maybe we thould just dethide bathed on what everyone thinkth we thould do. All who believe that KK needth help?”

 You scowl around at the myriad of hands that shoot up. Vriska, Eridan, Equius, Terezi, Feferi, and Sollux’s hands all go high in the air and you glare at them all. Feferi turns to Sollux in shock.

 “I thought you said that you believed Karkat?!”

 “I don’t know what I think right now okay, FF. I think we might have to athept that everything that hath happened to KK hath had a bad effect and that we thould be prepared to athept that he’th not all there anymore. I don’t like it, don’t get me wrong but that ith what I think.”

 You grumble traitor under your breath and rustsis gives her matesprite some motherfuckin’ glare.

 “Okay… tho that’th thix tho far in favour of doing thomething for KK. Everyone in favour of invethtigating Thoule?”

 Surprisingly, Sollux puts his hand up again, along with Nepeta, Aradia, Kanaya, Tavros, and you.

 “Fuck. That maketh it even.”

 “So let’s investigate Thoule anyway?” Aradia suggests “It wouldn’t cause any problems to not to.”

 “Then we should also send Karkat away again.” Terezi says.

 “No. He ain’t leaving!” you snap.

 “This isn’t about you!”

 “Nor is it about you bitchtits.” You tower over her to show her that you ain’t messing but it doesn’t make her step down any.

 “Perhaps…” Tavros stammers, and everyone looks at him “Perhaps we should investigate Thoule to calm Karkat down. We can’t send him away because that would make a question of authority, many of the trolls we’ve rescued… well they trust Karkat, sending him away might make them give up on us.”

 “And what about the question of authority for Thoule? The generals are in his pockets. Look I don’t like the guy but investigating him sounds like a bad idea.” Bluebitch explains.

 “We investigate him under the pretence of it being a show for Karkat to relax him.” Nepeta suggests. Equius nods at this, but you expected as much from the panless lacky.

 “That wwould actually wwork wwell.” Eridan makes this face like he’s mulling it over “Kinda like propaganda.”

 Feferi seems to also be thinking it through as well “Alright. Yes, that’s sounds like an idea. We should tell the generals the same thing, Karkat will find out, but Gamzee why don’t you explain the truth for him when he wakes? He’ll believe you.”

 You nod at her and she assigns Nepeta the job of investigating and Eridan the duty of building the façade. Everyone starts out of the room when you hear Terezi muttered “I would do a better job than them two.”

 You’re about to snap at her when Vriska steps in “That’s why she didn’t assign you. He’ll suspect you but not them two because he thinks they are lackwits.”

 “Besides, you would make the whole thing favour that motherfucker anyhow!” you sneer and although Terezi turns to have a go, Sollux steps in front of her and starts asking her something. Tavros steps in beside you.

 “I’m sure that we’ll find something on Thoule soon. I think he would try something. He’s jealous of Karkat, you can see that. Because Terezi’s really flushed for him and he can’t stand being second best.” You nod down as him and he pats you shoulder and goes on his way.

 You return to you diamond and he smiles up at you from the cot. It does something magical to your insides.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so but no! Hold the fucking phone! Check this out: http://ao3sburbanite.tumblr.com/post/139667274530/i-was-inspired-by-the-fic-seditious-by-spicypepper
> 
> Thank you so much for this amazing artwork! It means so much, everyone go check out this sburbanite's blog like right now!


	17. Chapter 17

Kanaya

 Gamzee has been asked to help with loading some heavy artillery onto one of the battleships and has been gone a while by the time your shift begins. At this point they have all begun to blend together, but at least this way you have some purpose rather than to make sure that the right trolls live or die.

 Karkat is resting rather peacefully, all things considered with the state he had been in a few nights ago. He is curled into this little ball under blankets and he starting to look very fragile indeed. The shadows under his eyes are notable darker and despite his midriff still growing, he looks thinner around the cheeks and arms. Gamzee has to practically force him to eat nowadays.

 Sollux and Nepeta visit often. They sit and chat with him when he’s awake and check in on him when he’s asleep. Terezi glares at all three of you everytime you pass you but the discussions with Thoule seem to have been successful so far. Eridan must have done a convincing job in making up story to appease him. Gamzee iterated the plan to Karkat once he was awake and seemed somewhat comforted by it but to be perfectly honest, he did seem to be very dubious of it and you do not blame him in the slightest.

 Feferi comes in, unexpectedly, and waits patiently for you to finish the prescribing medicine to an oliveblood with a digestive sack illness.

 “Can I have a word with you, in private?” she asks, quietly and politely.

 You nod and show her into the medicine storage. Her body language instantly shifts to being exhausted and ready for a long nap, which it probably is. You go to suggest that she do exactly that but you stop yourself before it can become meddling. She leans back against the table, careful not to knock anything on it.

 “I suppose you can guess why I’m here.” She sounds tired as well, that normally optimistic chirp diminished from her voice.

 “It’s about Karkat.” You have no illusions about why she’s here. Feferi is doubtful about Karkat’s sanity. You’ve seen that about everyone lately. Everyone coming to visit him, asides from Gamzee, seems to have this pitiful tone about their voice. Trying to be softly and slowly spoken, gentle, like they were talking to wrigglers. They have completely ignored Karkat’s insistence that he’s find and the questions about the investigation and his complaining about boredom.

 You all have really.

 “I have an idea, and I want to run it by you before I run it with anyone else. You know Karkat best.”

 “Wouldn’t Gamzee be the more appropriate to discuss this matter with then?” you interrupt but Feferi interrupts you with her paw raised flat in the air.

 “You know Karkat best… without having a clouded view of things. No emotional attachments, or at least not on the same level as Gamzee. I have been thinking that we should send the grub to Alternia once it arrives to be raised by a lusus as Karkat was. It might save Karkat’s sanity.”

 You mull it over in your mind “You think that would actually work? Save his sanity, I mean. Once the grub has been planted on Alternia, there’s nothing we can do to decide its fate. It would be subjected to the trails of Alternia as we were. But that might not ease Karkat’s mind. He might become concerned with the wellbeing of the grub despite it being where it belongs essentially.”

 “Yes, but having it here makes him a burden. He’ll not be able to fight or work because he’ll focus one hundred percent of his energy on the grub and be no use to our cause.”

 “You think he’d be able to fight after all those sweeps in captivity? It’s not like he was a very capable fighter before, but now the lack of training or practice is going to be more noticeable. He’s physically fragile at the best of times, even after the grub is born, he will need recuperation and training once that is completed. By that time the war may very well be over.” You point out but Feferi has this look you’ve come to associate with her stubbornness. It looks similar to Eridan’s and for a fleeting moment you ponder over the idea that seadweller’s all have that look of stubborn. The thought irritates you and you push it aside for another time.

 “That is true but he could be more use here with cooking, cleaning, assisting you and the other docterroists, work on the supplies, even plan out battle strategies though I doubt he could do that very well.” She explains, spreading her arms as if it’s the most obvious thing in the universe. “Besides, there is a high risk of the grub being culled in battle if we’re attacked or causing problems.”

 “You think it would?”

 “Hmm… a small creatures with two rows of sharp teeth and six legs running around under everyone’s feet, eating supplies, and generally causing mischief whilst Karkat smiles and says ‘oh it’s only a wiggler, they run around’? For fuck sake’s Kan, of course I think it would cause problems! Maybe Karkat would keep an orb on it, doesn’t mean that it’s a good idea to have it here.”

 “You doubt he would do that? Keep an orb on it?”

 “Fuck no! I doubt for a second he could manage it. Everyone knows that wrigglers are little horrorterrors to care for, hence why we have lusii to look after them. He would snap under the pressure after a few days, especially if he’s as weak as you think he’ll be.”

 “No, I just cannot accept that it’s a good idea to separate them, the damage has already done, don’t you see that Feferi? I’m sorry, but I cannot agree to separate them. It would kill Karkat.”

 “Then kill it when it’s born and say that it was stillborn then.”

 You cannot believe she just spoke those words. This isn’t like Feferi. How could she be so pusherless? So ruthless? Is this what the Condesce sounds like? She must be just comprehending what she just said herself when you hear the last person who needed to hear that.

 “You can’t.”

 Karkat looks so fragile in that moment. He’s wearing light grey day clothes that are loose everywhere but his distended stomach. He still looks exhausted and slightly wasted away but worst of all is the tears gathering in his orbs.

 “Karkat, you have to understand…” Feferi begins.

 Karkat interrupts her “That you want to fucking kill my grub.”

 “No, I just think that we should send it back to Alternia for now until the war is over.”

 “And leave it to the fucking dangers of our shittyass homeplanet with no idea who is it or why it exists, to be subjected to the same torturous fucking life I had. No! And even worse, you say I can just go back when this is all over. But by the sounds of things you don’t even think I’ll survive.”

 “You hear all of that?” you feel a coldness in your chest.

 “Well, you weren’t fucking quiet were you!” he screams. Suddenly he doesn’t look tired, but frantic and desperate. Feferi is as frozen as you are and you cannot help but feel like this was the worst possible scenario for this situation.

 He’s fully crying now, fat pink tears dripping silently down his clenched face. He suddenly dodges past you both with a speed you weren’t expecting. You chase after him instantly because in the back of your mind you remember that he is very ill right now and could loose his grub if he’s not careful. Feferi is behind you.

 He dodges past everyone with swift movements that don’t fit him or the state he’s in. He slips away from you several times you get close and it occurs to you that you might have to use your speed to catch him. You’ve tried to hide being a rainbowdrinker for so long as trump card but now you might just have to reveal it.

 You then realise where he’s heading. The only place he can really head.

 Gamzee.

 The purpleblood is in the block he shares with Karkat when all three of you barge in, almost at once. Karkat practically throws himself at his moirail and sobs loudly into his chest. Gamzee looks about a shocked and a freshly woken cluckbeast. He was apparently trying to weave something.

 “What the motherfuck is up my wickedest of brothers?”

 “They’re going to take my grub away, they want it dead!” he howls, voice cracking and hitching at everyone possible point. He’s gasping for breath, causing embarrassing hiccups.

 Gamzee gives you both this look that sends shivers up your back column and you are not even afraid of him. He pets Karkat’s head tenderly.

 “We were just thinking that it might be best to-“ Feferi once again begins, but Gamzee’s throaty voice interrupts her.

 “To leave Karkat motherfuckin’ alone!” he growls. It makes your heckles twitch when he does that. He snuggles Karkat’s hair before scooping him up in one smooth movement “Come along Karbro, let’s get you some motherfuckin’ rest.”

 As he strides out of the room, you glance at Feferi who looks a mixture of concern and fury. You sigh and follow Gamzee out of the block to the medical bay again, it was best that this matter be dropped until another, possibly more private time.

 Even so, a small part of you has lost respect for Feferi in some way.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo! Guess who's back. Okay, shits happening. Lots of shit. Lost the chapter plan thing so now the 31 chapters have been cut down to a more realistic 25. So just 7 more to go. Wooh!  
> Thanks for the patience guys, enjoy!

Tavros

You wake with the orders to take you tired self down to the loading bay because you're going on a mission son. You spend most of the evening yawning out your ass and trying to drink a nutritional grubjuice whilst the battleship leaves the atmosphere, shuddering like a bloody wriggler in the first stages of a horror movie.

Everyone is yawning around you. You glance around at Eridan who has actually managed to drift off, Aradia who fucking well looks as bright as a cholarbear with a rod up its ass, Nepeta who is glaring across at Terezi, who is sniggering with an equally bright eyed Vriska. There must be some energy grubjuice somewhere, just not where you are.

It takes most of the night to get to the right location, because no one said space travel was quick and being in confined spaces for long periods of time with dozens of other trolls does nothing for troll psychology. You yourself are not a particularly grumpy or aggressive troll, but in these kind of conditions even the most placid of trolls could need the shooshpaping of their lives.

Namely you.

Minus the moirail.

Because you’re down one of those.

There had already been two arguments, one nearly becoming a full on hornslocked battle but it was dispersed by the most exasperated auspistice he had ever seen. It was like out of a comedy the way they popped up between them like a springtrap.

Vriska’s already had a good old snap at you like it was all your fault, then a snap at Terezi when she had a snap at her for being so snappy. You then had to snap at them for snapping at each other so loudly. Honestly, it was enough to put a squeakbeast on its nerve.

You look at Eridan again.

Nope, still fucking asleep. The fucker.

Everyone else is in the same boat thankfully. No one is talking to each other at this point and Nepeta has gone to see Equius in the control room, with Sollux and Feferi.

You’re glad that they are in there. By all accounts from Vriska, they were not talking still and the atmosphere was like a room full of subjugglators during a maths test. You don’t actually blame Sollux for being angry with her. Apparently Eridan is also reluctant to talk about it with Feferi either. The whole situation sucks.

From the way Kanaya talked about it, there was plenty of reason why. To try and send Karkat away? He was the figurehead of the rebellion, without him… it had survived before his existence, but it was their knowledge of his existence that brought them all together. If he was sent away, for being insane, then it could send a spiral through the main group. Gamzee would become uncontrollable again. Terezi would probably be consumed by her guilt, Kanaya would probably just leave. Maybe Sollux would too. It would be impossible to say. And the fallout from that allow would be even worse, even more devastating for the rebellion. The empress would most certainly in then.

“Everyone prepare for combat, we are approaching the enemy fleet.” Sollux’s voice sounded very drawn.

You stand and check your strife deck and watch as everyone else joins. Part of your training as a Cavalreaper is being part of the vanguard of an attack. Be prepared to charge and attack the enemy with full force. Many of the trolls with you recieved the same training, were even in the same regiment as you. They trust you and follow you in strong belief that they are doing the right thing.

You wonder if the Summoner felt the same pride as you once.

Everyone divides into separate troops and march towards their assigned battle skeeter. Someone remembers to wake Eridan, who is up and heading towards his assigned skeeter before you even leave the room. They were hardly little ships, four berth, with two piloting the actual machine and two trolling the battlements. It beat the nights of trolled weapons.

You seat yourself at one of the pulse rifles whilst Equius takes the one behind you. Despite being a slightly better pilot than Nepeta, he was also a far better shot. She and Tollar are holding the main bridge. Tollar was one of the better pilots from your regiment, you recall. She was upbeat but firey, even more so behind the wheel. She and Nepeta were friendly enough, so you had no doubt they would make a good team. You strap yourself in.

“RSkeeter 2 is at full power and is showing no signs of engine problems. Thrusters at full power. Now on.” Tollar said. She took the chance to wrap her long hair quickly around her downward swooping horns, similar to Aradia’s but more angular.

“Enemy has launched, scatter pattern, no signs of firing yet.” Nepeta chattered off. “Safety requirements met, prepared to launch.”

Equius spoke softly “Blaster fully charged and ready.”

You feel that giddiness you always get before battle. The surreal feeling of excitement and blood pumping glee “Blaster fully charged and, um, ready.”

“Standby for launch.” Nepeta flicked the switch for the radio network. Instantly a screech of noise poured through from the hundreds of voices coming in from your meager army. It suddenly occurs to you that the rebellion has only a handful compared to the million strong army you’re about to face.

A small prickle of doubt runs through you.

You glance over at Tollar, you know how the clowns treated her. How she hasn’t quite been the same since. You don’t know how Karkat did it.

The rebellion cannot fail. This has to stop.

You steady yourself as the skeeter is moved into launch position. Out here, you can see the enemy skeeters, crimson red and bright against the darkness of space. The RSkeeters were much more difficult to see, painted black. They were upgraded half to death too. You hope that gives them that extra edge they need.

The great battle fleeter above you is the same crimson striped with indigo. It was massive but garish. It doesn’t look real, especially as your turret extracts itself from the main body of the skeeter.

Over the ruckus you distinctly hear Feferi shout “Launch!”

You are fired out without much warning, screaming out before the engines kicked in and your projection is smoothed down and Nepeta switches the drives from launch automatic to battle manual and the engines change sounds again to a more pulsing roar more suited to the mood. You growl quietly to yourself at the first glimmer of red but don’t first yet.

Just a little closer.

Little closer.

Closer.

You fire. The electrical thrum that passes through the pulse rifle goes silent outside but the light that pops before your eyes like a glitter filled bubble tells you all you need to know before you move your attention to the next enemy which flashes past you like a bolt of skinny sky firelight. You fire after it several times but they go just out of range of you when another blow hits it. It isn’t a vital shot but the skeeter goes floating sideways out of your view and another black RSkeeter passes by.

It’s RSkeeter 5, the one Vriska is firing from. She hates that one. She would probably be swearing and screaming all sorts of fucking rage at everyone for it. Feferi does it on purpose. She must do. You would.

“Tavros! Above!” Equius says. Despite the noise of the radio, it’s is largely quiet in RS2, something that Equius seems to take advantage or. You move your rifle up swiftly, fire, and skim the transparent view mirror. It will kill those inside but the more destroyed or captured the better. You know that RS9a and RS9b are collection pods, design to remove and collect debris for utilization. They will collect the damaged skeeter for repair for the rebellion.

Tollar screams bloody rage as one skeeter bashes into the hull of the RS2 and sends it spinning before Nepeta ejects the complete manual navigation controls, which Tollar grabs and flings it back into a more stable flight path. She’s panting before screaming and aiming the RS2 at the nearest collection pod.

You have only a split second to move into place to shoot it out before she hits it. Equius’ blow does the job more than yours. You have to practice more. Another skeeter zooms past and you fire at it as well.

The next half hour is just firing and dodging different blasts.

Suddenly, you turn and spot two skeeter flying directly towards you, side by side. Equius hasn’t noticed yet, so you move the rifle to face them. You hold the trigger down and fired again and again. It misses the first few times but several of the hits land and soon one explodes, taking the other out as well.

But too close.

The blast impacts the RS2 and everyone is shoved askew again. The rifle has overheated and burns your hand. You pull them back with a shout!

“You alright?!” Nepeta shouts to you.

“Yes! Just overheat! Damn that was, uh, close.”

“Too fucking close for us!” Tollar snaps. She swings the control back and forth, weaving a dodging the rebellion. Equius snipes the remaining Empire skeeters here and there. Everyone was regrouping. The fleeter was making its slow retreat, but it was clear that the battle was won.

You are breathless with glee. A cheer erupts from several of the RSkeeters over the radio and before anyone can process what is happen, everyone has been swept up in the breathless triumph of the small victory. You have won one more battle.

One more towards the end of the war.

One more to freedom.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was hard work to write. Sorry guys, it's awful.

Feferi

You give Karkat a stern look but the pure hurt anger in his eyes does not lift or shift. He sucks in a breath, breaking eye contact with you to look away and shake his head.

“So that’s it, is it? I’ve run my short use and now I’m to be sent away.” there are tears in his eyes and you feel such a plang of guilt.

“I don’t want to do this Karkat. It should never have come to this but what can I do Karkat. This is no place for a grub, or a breeder. You should be somewhere safe, somewhere with a good hive and mediculler, surrounded by your friends and quadrants. That should be how thing are, but they’re not. Regardless, it is not safe for you here.” it isn’t and you want him to be safe, you generally do. He deserves that it nothing else.

“How much of that is your words and how much of it is the Generals that are that fuckface’s?” he’s hurt but his voice remains more fed up than anything else, like he’s heard this a thousand times and this is one more to add to the net.

“Thoule has nothing to do with this decision. It’s mine and mine alone.”

“So, I’ve gotten in the way one time too many, is that it? Or the fact that I can’t do much anymore? Or is it this that disgusts you?” he swings his hand through the air to indicate his swollen belly. He was looking uncomfortable now with how large he’s become. He wears his cloak around him at time, holding it close, making himself shapeless. You wonder if it’s been commented on to make him act that way, or it is just general discomfort at his looks? He has always been slightly uncomfortable with his looks.

You sigh, again.

He’s become hard to handle. Gamzee becomes increasingly overprotective and Karkat seems to relish in it. You suppose that the security is of extra comfort to him but in your frustration, it feels like he’s being smug and untouchable.

“That is not what this is about! And don’t pretend it is. Please don’t try and make this about anything but your safety because it’s not. I have everything arranged for you, transport, place to live, even some company. Several of the other breeders, some who have had grubs too, will be with your too. They’ve volunteered as well.”

“Wow, how noble of them.” he groans sarcastically.

“They didn’t do this because we made them, they did it because they want to be with you. How can you not understand?”

“No, what I don’t understand is how thick you clearly think I am? I have been forced to listen to you constantly go on about me being unstable, in the way, causing problems. You threaten to send my grub away but when that’s not possible for you to do that, you alter the plans and send me as well because you don’t really need me that much. All I ever was to you is a figurehead for this rebellion, and now the people have seen me and gotten hope of victory, my purpose is done and now I’ve overstayed my welcome.”

You feel hurt by this because it’s true. It’s true and you cannot deny that. You have to fight back your own tears.

“Please Karkat. Please, once this war is over, you won’t have to worry about this ever again. You can make a little hive for yourself and your grub and Gamzee if you like.”

Karkat refuses to look at you as he slowly stands and makes his way over to the door, waddling as he did. It looks silly and most trolls giggle as he passes. Many of the breeder hide away during their last perigee or so, away from humiliating laughs and mocking insults. It would take a long while before the breeders would be no longer mocked for their strange shape during pregnancy and it would take even longer for them to be fully accepted. You often wonder if this mothergrub will be the last. They last for longer than most bluebloods. Only indigos and higher seem to live longer. Regardless, soon breeders may make up the majority of the population soon. The war meant that most trolls were not supplying the filial pails they would normally.

Would Karkat have another after this?

Would he have a litter of grubs?

Garlen had many, so had some of the others. One of the trolls was still mourning the last grub they have birthed, according to Kanaya. Karkat certainly mourned the previous two.

You follow him out the door and into the corridor and lead him to the smaller launchpad. You begin to feel sick as you go further and further away from the place he called his hive. You can almost feel his silent tears as he walks slowly and awkwardly behind you.

“Now where do you think you be motherfuckin going, fishtits.” Gamzee growls.

He’s stooping down in the corridor, filling it with his bulk. His eyes were darker and his fangs flashed brightly in the darkness.

“You wouldn’t be bringin my very motherfuckin best palebro to some motherfuckin exile, would you?!” he screamed. His hair seems to be standing on end in his anger. Karkat steps back. He’s either afraid (unlikely) or preparing for Gamzee to maul you (likely). You unequip your trusty 3x2dent and place it in clear view.

“I am doing what’s best for Karkat. I’m sorry Gamzee.”

“Bitch, you are motherfuckin using your wicked ways to steal my diamond away. Taking the light of my motherfuckin life away to some desolate, motherfuckin boring place with my palest of bros!”

“Gamzee, please don’t.” Karkat pleads with him, his voice weepy.

“Go back to our block, sweetness, and I’ll sort this motherfuckin fishbitch out.” he whispers softly to Karkat who you can hear taking another step back. He turned and moved away as swiftly as he can.

“Gamzee, I order you to return to your duties.”

“You ain’t got no command over me motherfucker! Karkat is the only one who I take orders from, because he. Motherfuckin understands me!” he screams and you step back.

You don’t want to fight him. One of the many reasons is you’re not sure you can take him during a bloodrage in this confined place. The other main reason is that in fighting would deal a blow to the rebellion. The cause would start to doubt the strength of it’s leaders.

He’s growling now, his horns pressed against the ceiling, making his head tilt down awkwardly.

“Gamzee, please understand that I don’t want to do this. Think of it as this, if something happens in the rebellion and we fail, Karkat might be captured again. He might be raped or killed. I know you don’t want that, so please. It hurts, I know, but you will be reunited again. I promise!”

He must have been closer than you realised, or at least his arms are longer than you anticipated, because he snatches you around the gills and slams you into the wall a good half foot off the ground and snarls his foul breath into your face.

“He goes motherfuckin nowhere, you hear that? Nowhere! He is safe here, he made me promise to end it before they take him. He wants me to be there because he don’t want us motherfuckin separated, you hear that motherfucker!” he’s bordering on a bloodrage now but suddenly you’re slipping, then your toes touch the ground, then your knees. He slinks off down after Karkat.

You glare after him but wait until he’s a bit down the corridor before standing and storming away.

Eridan is snapping at a grinning Sollux when you arrive at your personal block. He looks pale and uncomfortable when he turns to look at you, and you guess he must be in heat. Instantly he’s over to hold you, his arms surrounding you so you can rest your head on his shoulder.

Sollux is behind him “What happened?”

“I think that our wildcard was never actually under our control. I tried to get Karkat and some of the other breeders to somewhere safer, but Gamzee intercept me. I’m concerned this is going to get out of hand quickly.”

The look Sollux gives you is enough to tell you he’s felt the same “Here thith, Mituna told me Karkat ith going to give birth thoon but he’th going be in grief at the thame time. He’th been all weird lately, going in and out of coherenthy all the time nowanighth.”

Eridan is rocking you slightly when you let go and he wanders over to the seats and curls up in one of them. He’s tired, it’s not like him to looks so small and meek. Sollux is beside you.

“You thould take a break for now, we have a little rethpite tonight.” he suggests, guesturing for the chair, which you step towards when there is a spinechilling scream that echoes down the corridor and towards your room.

All three of you are out in the corridor when Gamzee comes charging down at you, he’s about to grab you again when Sollux uses his psiioniics to lift him clear of the ground. Gamzee howls in rage, his eyes raw with emotion.

“You motherfuckin bitch! You stole him! You stole him away!” he screams at you.

“What are you talking about?!”

“Karkat’s gone!” Sollux refuses to place him down even when he calms at the confusion on your face.

“Maybe he’s gone ta get food a somethin. He’s been coop up in that room all this time and maybe he’s just bored and decided to go for a stroll or wwhatever.” Eridan suggests.

“He woulda told me.” Gamzee insists.

Everyone has gone quiet. Sollux finally lowers him back to the ground and the indigobloods looks at you, completely lost without his moirail. He slid down to his knees and looks solemnly around at everyone like he’s adrift. He doesn’t need Karkat to be with him constantly but he needs to know where he is, that he’s safe and sound.

You suddenly have a sick feeling in your digestive sack.

The next half hour is dedicated to searching for the mutantblood in all the normal places to expect him. The canteen had not seen him for several nights now because Gamzee had made a point of gathering food for him. He had not been seen in the mediculler bay for half a perigee. He sometimes went to the storage room to help count and organise supplies but no one was there to confirm seeing him and he wasn’t there. The other breeders were divided between the launchpad and their special block. All explained that they had not seen him that night.

The seadweller breeder was extremely concerned about him, he juggled the squirming grub in his arms as he asked “Is everything alright? He hasn’t taken a turn again, has he?”

“We don’t know. You can all return to your block if you want.” They nodded worriedly but the seadweller piped up again.

“Can we help maybe? We’ll find him faster if we all work together.”

You don’t see a problem with this, so you let them and soon several other trolls are looking for him, including his friends. Kanaya remained in the mediculler block but practically interrogates anyone who came past or in.

An hour later, a troll whose face you don’t recognise runs up to you “General! You nee’ to come an’ see this!”

You follow them, and they lead you to the main command block. You think at first that you have received an emergency transmission, but the image that greets you is something far worse.

The Grand Highblood is standing foremost and center, which a plane of glass before him, separating him from the crew in the foreground. One is standing, holding a small bugmic to her mouth.

“Greetings, Feferi Peixes, Commanding General of the Seditious Rebellion. You are in the presence of the Grand Highblood, High Subjuggulator and Most Mirthful of the Miraculous Brotherclowns, Kurlos Makara. It appears we have somethings of yours.”

Gamzee steps on before they are brought on screen and Eridan rushes to prevent him coming in, because like you he knows who these somethings are. But it’s too late. Gamzee is staring directly at the screen, his eyes going wide and terrified and angry.

Karkat and Thoule are dragged on screen, both cuffed behind their back and behind the screen, next to the murderclown. Kurlos beckons them closer with a finger as the bugmic is placed on speaker. Karkat steps closer, obedient, his head down and silent tears falling from his eyes.

Thoule looks disgruntled and jittery. Terezi runs in followed by Vriska by this point. She gasps with horror.

Kurlos lifts his beckoning finger and gently strokes Karkat’s cheek down to his chin and lifts his head, though it is clear that Karkat is still not looking at him by the tilt of his head. He’s shaking badly.

Slowly, deliberately drawn out, is the hand going down to Karkat’s swollen belly, his grubs nestled within. He rubs his monstrous sized hands down the swell and back up.

“A motherfucker thanks you for bringing his breeding mate back to him. He is most thankful.” he speaks in a surprisingly soft voice, tender almost.

“I’ve kept my end of the deal! You keep yours!” snaps Thoule as the Grand Highblood reaches back and unleashes Karkat’s hands, so small by comparison. It’s clear with Karkat standing beside him that he is not actually standing but knelt down, hunched up and squeezed into the cockpit.

“A motherfucker did get his agreements on to some deal of this, didn’t he?” he waves his hand to the troll and Thoule takes a step forwards, chest puffed out and chin high, like he’s receiving some great reward.

The troll behind him lifts a spiked hammer and dashes his head against the glass. Blood splashes against the glass, stark and bright and colourful. The spike bounces off the plane and a body slumps down to the bottom, shoulder pressed again the glass, lower jaw and neck smearing a line of grim down until it stops at the bottom.

Terezi gasps and so do some of the other trolls around him. The announcer almost looks bored and is checking a clipboard with another crew member. There is no shock or glee or rage or outcry. The only sound besides the mundane drone of the cockpit is Karkat’s sniffles, as he remains looking at the Highblood.

Kurlos takes one of his massive claws and memovers the smaller troll into full frontal view of the camera, which is zoomed in on the shot. The other hand comes up and interlinks with Karkat’s cloak. It unfastens the clasp and it drops to the ground. He cries louder, head down, one hand on his stomach and the other reaching across to his shoulder, as if to cover himself.

The hands reappear, still gentle and slow, grasping at the fabric of his clothes. Then in one swift movement, the fabric is torn clean from his torso. Karkat makes his pathetic yelp and his arms become racked with shivers and the clothing of his trousers is ripped away from his legs and he is softly pushed until one of his hands are pressed against the glass.

The Highblood slips down from his tiny perch and leans over Karkat, whispering something soft into his hearing sponge. His sheer size swallows Karkat up almost entirely. He suddenly looks so small and vulnerable.

Kurlos fiddles with something behind Karkat and suddenly Karkat makes the most retched cries you have ever heard. It sounds like he’s in pain and sick and wants to die.

The larger trolls gently presses his hands around Karkat’s hips and massages them tenderly and you want to look away but you’re transfixed by the scene playing out. Karkat’s breathing has become ragged and he can’t seem to suck in breath between his tears. Then there’s a flick of movements and Karkat’s hips are yanked back and he screams, loud, agonised and horrified.

The Grand Highblood is flush against his hips and Karkat’s body starts doing these violent twitches, blood slides down his legs immediately, fast and clear. And the screaming doesn’t stop, it starts to jump up and down in volume and sounds so pained and sob filled that you almost don’t hear Gamzee behind you, making the same noise. He’s on his knees, you notice out of the corner of your eye, clawing pitifully at the ground, tears streaming down his face.

Karkat is pressed forwards, against the glass until his whole forearm is pressed against the transparent plane. They should have killed him. It would have been kinder. Terezi is wailing as well, though it’s muffled and you realise that she’s pressed against Vriska, sobbing loudly.

Karkat’s wails drown them all out. He’s in so much pain now, the muscles in his neck taunt and the hand clutching at his stomach, pressing it tightly against his exposed flesh.

He just looks so small and young, like a child himself. The crew look so bored and indifferent. How can they not be horrified by what’s happening behind them. Does this really mean that little to them, or do they see this that often that it’s become nothing to them?

Why?

The worst thing is that it lasts a good hour before the Grand Highblood starts to show signs of finishing. By this time Karkat’s legs are soaked with blood and purple genetic material and his wails have become exhausted, pained sobs. Gasps of pain every now and then, his face pressed against his arm against the glass. All you can see is his mouth, saliva trickling down with a small trail of blood where he bit his lip. His legs were limp and quaking with exhaustion.

Everyone was relieved when it finally ended. Kurlos groans and presses flush against the smaller trolls back. Karkat drops to the ground once he pulls out. He curls up, racked with shivers. He reaches out and grabs ahold of the cloak, the only clothing besides his boots that is intacted and wraps it around himself, covering his head.

You get a sickening glimpse of Kurlos’s bulge and almost vomit at the size of it, covered in blood and material and you think you see some gore on it and you have to take deep breathes to hold the bile at the back of your digestive colum.

The transmission cuts with a manic laugh, loud and at complete contrast with the soft voice from before. It rings in your ears long after the screen turns to black.

Everyone is in various stages of shock. Terezi sobs loudly and Vriska is rocking her gently, but when you turn, Sollux, Eridan and Gamzee are gone.


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Five more chapters of Fuck Your Feelings to go.

Sollux

The RSkeeter was jittering slightly. It still needed more repairs but this is a workable for what they needed it for. Eridan is fumbling around beside you. He adjusts his glasses and presses buttons and flicks switches and adjusts dials with a great amount of precision and deliberation.

You are doing much the same but are slightly more unnerved by the hulking great mass that is Gamzee sitting behind you both. You suppose he’s used to highbloods this size being everywhere but it also occurs to you that he’s a breeder too. That could have been him and that must be in the back of his mind as well.

There’s a presence pouring off Gamzee, and it keeps putting you off. He’s surrounded by a miasma of terror and rage so thick you can almost feel it pouring around you. He used to be like this all the time. You remember that cage, how no one really wanted to go down and feed him. Yet, it is like you’ve forgotten that he did that. Karkat’s influence was more drastic than you had previously thought. So long as you kept that currently unchecked rage focused on this rescue, you should be both fine.

The radio sputtered into life and Feferi’s voice come through “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?! Get back here right now!”

You turn it off. Sorry, but this needed to be done. Once Terezi had started wailing, a fury hit you like you’ve never felt before. You wanted to kill. Kill everything. Wipe the whole universe clean of shit because you’ve had enough!

Funnily enough, it wasn’t Aradia who turned to you, but the seadweller sat beside you. He gave you this horrified, angered look, tears streaking down his cheeks. It was that look that made him realised something that needed to be done. You nodded to him and a neutral understanding was formed between you both.

You had cautiously approached Gamzee, whose turmoil was something awful to behold. You touched his shoulder and he spun around. It must have been the look on your face because, despite floods of tears, his face hardened and he rose, slow and menacing, and followed you both out of the block to the launching bay.

And here you are, going on probably a suicide rescue mission, but at this stage it would be better for Karkat to be dead than living with that monster in troll skin. Gamzee is growling behind you.

Eridan is fiddling with the controls again as the controlship comes into view, imperial red and ridiculous looking. Gamzee growls quietly behind you and you feel the sparks fly between your horns as you stiffen away from him slightly.

“Well Eridan?” you ask.

“This model has the prison quarters in the bowels a the ship, underside an’ center, near to the helmsmen quarters. Karkat will probably be confined this time to stop him bein’ exposed to other trolls, so the Grand Highblood can have him to himself.” he’s explaining this to you in an overly level voice. He’s trained himself to do that you know, but it was still unnerving to hear it.

He swallowed dryly, a rare thing for a seadweller, and you lock the landing gears onto the section of panelling on ED pointed out. Gamzee leaned forward, his claws gripping the back of your chair. He had begun growl constantly now.

“Turn off the engines and drift in, they can locate a powered up battery by their motherfuckin’ power signiture.” he hissed lowly, gesturing to the bug-sensor above and to the right. You nod and shut the engines down.

You drift into place and use your psiionics to extend the landing gears away from the skeeter and attach them to the hull of the ship. The grips dug into the side like a spider’s pincers. The skeeter clunk against the hull. You feel the chill running through you at the the prospect of what’s going to happen. You take a breath as the air lock slots into place against the hull and this time you swallow.

Eridan stands in front of you and aims the Crosshairs at the hull and fires. The blast explodes overbright for a split second but your orbs adjust quickly. He cuts a line around the inner edge of the air lock. It came free after a few of agonising minutes and landed with a clang. It echoed down the corridor and you wince at the sound level. Eridan steps through and Gamzee follows, squeezing through the tiny entry. You follow with more ease.

You follow the passage down to a cross section, at which point Eridan gestures to the far door to the right and Gamzee kicks it through. You feel that wince again because they are being so noisy and if Karkat is forced to go what he went through again, it might kill him.

There are barred cells either side of you and the air is thick with the scent of shit and rot. The damp atmosphere is also completely dark. You see the nearest cell on your right is the only one with an occupant.

Karkat is bundled up in one corner, his cloak wrapped about him like a blanket. His head is down and he doesn’t even acknowledge you coming in.

“Kar…” Eridan whimpers. Gamzee is yanking on the bars with both hands, pulling them bend and straining the hinges. Karkat still doesn’t move and you feel a deep pit of bile in your belly. Gamzee rips the bars free and pours himself in beside his moirail, his massive hands reaching for but not quite touching his cheek.

The smaller troll flinches away. Eridan looks at you and returns to the door, his rifle aimed at the hallway outside.

“Karkat, are you alright? We’re here to rescue you.” you whisper as you set inside. He looks so small and frail.

“Come along diamond, we’re getting you the motherfuck outta here. For good this time.” Gamzee’s voice is sickeningly quiet, but Karkat still refuses to respond.

You kneel down and see that he’s staring at his knees, eyes raw from tears and pain. He looks half dead, ready to sleep that second, if he wasn’t already. His hair was damp with sweat and he was gritty with the slimy dirt in the cell.

You gently reach forwards and move to touch his chin. He pulls his head up as you do, following the speed of your hand. Tears run anew down his cheeks and he shudders.

“Kill me…”

You nearly choke on vomit. Gamzee let’s a sob out beside you. He’s crying too and is practically lying on his belly to look at Karkat. He’s looking so earnestly at you and you cannot look away, not even when your own tears fall down your cheeks.

“N-no. We are going to save you. No.”

He just bows his head in defeat. You lean up and take his arm but he pulls back and you suddenly think of something.

“Are you in labour? Are you in pain? We can bring the ship somewhere safe for you to deliver.” He shakes his head.

Gamzee pets Karkat’s hair, but this time he doesn’t flinch as he explains “Too late.”

That vomit returns and this time you have to turn and let it out. You cough as much as you can up because you have a habit of not getting rid of it in one go and have to throw up several times before you’re done. This is not the time for that.

Gamzee is nuzzling Karkat now “It’s okay. I’m here. You can have another grub, Terezi… she’s flushed as motherfuck for you, you love that bitchtits something special too. You can have another…”

Karkat flinches as that and actually tries to pull away this time, but he is right against the bars and there is no escape. Gamzee sobs again and you spit the last of the bile out of your mouth.

You move to pick the smaller troll up when he jumps and curls further into himself. You’re about to snap at him about being rescued when you hear the highest chirping sound you’ve ever heard.

Karkat looks petrified at you, still curled over himself. It takes him a second to calm down and relax enough to pull the cloak away from himself. He is naked underneath but for his boots and a small red grub in his lap. It’s tiny with a patch of black hair on it’s head. It’s horns are the exact image of Karkat’s, and when it squirms around to look up, it’s face matches his as well.

Karkat chirps softly back to it, comforting it. It purrs in reply and snuggles closer to his thorax. Karkat wraps his arms around it again. He looks up at you pleadingly. You scoop your arms around his legs and back and pick him off the ground. He’s lighter than you expected, but still your back protests as you straighten and walk him out.

Eridan moves for you. The four of you start to run down the corridor when a blast hits the ceiling above you. Eridan fires back and Karkat clings to you and the grub harder. The grub makes a noise of protest, you can feel rather than hear it’s breeder’s response over the shouts of the trolls blocking your way.

There is a resounding roar that echoes through the corridor. At first, you think it belongs to Gamzee but then said troll is charging past you with a higher pitched hiss. Eridan just dodges out of the way. He looks disgruntled at you, his eyes wide.

You both run for the airlock, because the barrage of fire is gone. You manage to bring Karkat into the main hull of your Skeeter and place him gently on one of the seats by the guns. He is hidden from sight in there. Eridan remains by the airlock, weighting for Gamzee. You sit at the controls and start the engines up again. The hum of machine whirs to life and you start pressing buttons frantically, accidently double hitting some because your powers start pressing them for you.

The grub starts crying behind you, it’s high pitched shrill running through your brain and fangs.

Eridan is screaming “Come on! Come on! Hurry up!”

You want to leave, but if you do not wait for Gamzee, Karkat might not survive this. You are starting to sweat badly, nerves causing your hands to shake and sparks to run up and between your horns. Karkat is hushing the grub softly.

There is an ear splitting scream, and your stomach hits the deck. You might throw up again. It starts to die down but then starts up again before going silents abruptly. You can hear the footsteps but are too afraid to turn around.

Suddenly you hear the airlock shut and the clasps of the landing gear unlatch from the main hull. You detach from the battleship and pull away automatically.

Eridan comes running in “Come on! Go! Go!” 

He sits beside you and starts hitting buttons, almost randomly. Gamzee sits beside Karkat, facing his seat. In his paws is a pair of long curling horns, purple from the tip to halfway up and with bits of flesh and hair and gore still dripping from the bottoms. He offers it to Karkat.

“I told a motherfucker. Told him that I would get my gifting of horns on.”

Karkat chokes back a sob, but he accepts the gift from his moirail.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hint hint. I am more likely to write for comments. Legit too.

Eridan

You spend the next hour racing through space, waiting for your pursuers to catch up. You suggest to Sol pretty quickly that you should not return to base until your pursuers had given up the chase. This would mean that you won’t return for several nights but did not matter, they had enough supplies on ship. Rations were mandatory on the RSkeeters.

It was quiet for that hour. Tense, but quiet. Like waking from a horrorterror to find the silence of day hidden behind the curtains, unsettling but calm. You remember that feeling on the Imperial Starships, but waking to a darkness unlike that of night. It could be anytime in space and it would never have that quietness, just the hum of engines and sometimes the sound of your neighbouring trolls listening to music or arguing or pailing.

It was comforting, this quiet. It felt like being home somehow. You remember the waves crashing against the sandbank and seahorsedad’s whinny in the distance. How you would spend hours, as a wriggler, splashing in the shallows. You met Fef that way, she had noticed you swimming through the rocks and corals and came over to greet you. She had been a lot braver than you at that age, willing to swim far and wide whilst you remained close to home so none of the deeper monstrosities could harm you. You supposed now that it was because when your lusus is the most powerful creature in the known galaxy then you will not have to worry about much.

You feel a pang of loss at the thought of seahorsedad being on planet without you. Had he taken on a new charge or was he waiting there for you to return home? You wipe away your tears, there is no time for them.

Sol is focused intensely on the radar and the void before you. Gam and Kar are both fast asleep behind you. It makes you almost jealous. You want to sleep so bad.

The radar bleeps and you don’t even get the chance to look at before Sol is reacting, using his powers to activate switches, dials, and buttons out of his reach. You stand, unbuckling yourself and make for the turret. The moirails have yet to wake yet, though Gam has curled around Kar like he’s an overgrown stuffed plush.

You lock into the turret, bringing the radar up on the eye gear. It’s a clunky set of goggles that take up half your face, and your glasses thank fuck, wired into the turret’s system. It gives you the view from the turret when it’s engaged but full view outside that. It hums to life and you start scanning the void.

Sol speaks to you through a speaker “AMC angleth 27.8.9, gogey incoming. Padlocked. CEP.”

You spin the turret around and you swing round to fire at one of the incoming Skeeters. The eye gear zooms in and fires, hornbeast’s eye. Another one follows but flies over before you can fire.

A screech comes from underneath you. The grub is definitely taking after Kar. Gamzee scoops them up and brings them to the console, tucking Kar and belting him because he refuses to let go of the grub for a second.

Suddenly the whole RSkeeter shudders with a hit.

“Fuck! Up gripe, left wing damage, fur ball on thix. ED, fuck ‘em up! Thit! Fox one fired! Fuck thith thit! I’m a dot, repeat I’m a dot! Hold on KK.”

You can only imagine Kar’s confusion at all the jargon. You fire at another bogey, which explodes spectacularly. You aim for another but Sol swings the RSkeeter around and you end up with a spinning pan and roiling digestion sack.

“Fuck Sol, you coulda wwarned me!” You have to get go of the equipment just to steady your swimming vision. You hear Sol chuckle over the comm and growl, swingin the turret and firing. It hits and this time you don’t need the eye gear. The next bogey is right behind you and you fire.

The explosion knocks the ship slightly, but besides a few burns, it will live.

“Clear radar. I think we’ve lotht them for now.”

You lean back satisfied.

The next few hours are quiet. To avoid detection, you all agree to loop back on yourselves and land on a small green planetoid. It’s covered in this strange mossy vegetations, but it’s been registered as MeenahAlpha-27846 and safe. Even so, you don’t leave the hull.

When digging out the rations, Sol finds some black overalls for Kar to wear. Not much but it is some dignity. There was also some rags to clean himself with, so he dropped the cloak and started wiping the grub and then himself. It becomes a competition between you and Sol as to who is vomiting the most. Gam holds himself well enough but you suspect that it’s more for Kar’s sake than his own.

Even whilst dressing himself, he does not let go of the grub. It makes things awkward and slow but you have to have patiences.

The next battle is getting Kar to eat something. Gam opens on of the meal ration packs and tears a lump of grubloaf off it. Kar just stares at like all his senses have departed him and left the grub’s pan in him. Even when asked to eat, he just moves his head solemnly away. You can feel Sol getting wound up by it something horrendous because he starts pacing and the static in the hull is building up.

“Come on diamond, get your motherfuckin’ eatin’ on.”

“For fuck’th thake KK jutht fucking eat already!” Sol snaps.

Gam jumps up, grabs him by the throat, and suddenly he’s over his pan. Kar is up to his feet and goes to touch Gam but stops, like the thought of touching him repulses him. You jump up from your seat and launch between them.

“Hey Gam, chill out. I’m sure that Sol is jus’ tense is all. Concerned ‘bout Kar’s health an’ all that.”

For a second you don’t think that he’s going to do it when his grip relaxes and he let’s Sol drop. He tumbles to the ground, all knees and elbows. Kar flinches as Gam turns to him, and even steps back. Gam hesitates but then moves back to the food he’s left on the floor. Afterwards, Sol keeps quiet and Kar finally eats.

For the next few nights, you all suffer spacefever something horrendous but you manage to survive. For the most part the grub sleeps soundly, and though Kar let’s it wander clumsily about but never too far from him.

It’s an amusing little creature, showing a lot of personality despite it’s young age. It seems to know Kar is it’s parent, chirrups to him when it wants his attention. Kar watching it tenderly and you can see the love for it pouring out of him like something you’ve never known. It hits you that you want that so badly and you may never have it. Then you feel sick. When was your last heat actually?

The lot of you end up sleeping most of the time, Kar allowing Gam to hold him whilst he bundles the grub up in one of the rags. It’s a positively tiny thing, but even so it must have hurt to deliver, especially after what happened.

On the fourth day, you decide to leave. Gam sits perched against the wall and holds Kar against him. You spend a few hours flying when something pops up on the radar. You feel your digestive sack drop.

“It’s a large warthip, imperial thize. Fuck!” Sol slams the console.

Kar sobs, which sets the grub off crying.

Gamzee seems calm though, like this is nothing to him. You unload the Crosshairs and hope for the best.

The radio crackles to life.

“What the fuck do you think you were doing!” Feferi screams through. Never have you felt so relieved.

The ship locks you in and you land with a full entourage waiting for you. Everyone in command is there and some. You step down one by one. Gamzee somehow surrounds Karkat despite his lack of trying.

Sol stops before her, head held high. She slaps him. Full round wrack. And he straightens and continues staring.

“Are you out of your mind!? I expected Gamzee to do something rash but not you, and not you! How dare you?! You could have risked our lives, your own lives!”

“I did what I believed wath right.”

“Fuck what you thought was right! You went in blind, they could have tortured you for information, you are all high ranking officers, you have information, important information!”

“Tho you wanted them to keep Karkat, to rape him, and kill him? We thucceed, that’th all that matterth.”

“That is not all that matters!”

You see Kar being ushered away by Kanaya and a team of medical staff.

There is something in the broken look that hits you “So wwould you havve left me as wwell then?”

You’re surprised that they even heard you. But they turn around regardless, and the look of outrage on her face is followed by a hiss.

“This is not about you!”

“Is it not? Is it not about Kar? Or any of the other breeders on this ship? So, in front of everyone, you’ve admitted you don’t want us here.”

The look of outrage turns to a look of realisation, then horror. You’re too tired to care and storm past her.


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will finish this fucker!

Karkat

Sleep consumes your nights and days for some unknown time. You cannot seem to make yourself wake beyond the odd minute or two here and there and more that is because of the grub waking you from your sleep. He cries sparingly at least and you can rest for the most part.

Dayterrors plague like it was the first time. Visions of that… that monster mounting you like an animal, with thousands of groping grabbing hands petting and feeling and touching you. And you cry for help but all your friends are walking away, looking disappointed at you for being such a pathetic slut because despite the pain, despite to horror of what is happening, despite not wanting it, you are moaning and coming again and again.

You wake from these dayterrors screaming and crying and thankfully alone. Your body aches with the prospect of getting up and doing anything. Your skin crawls with the feeling to dirt and grime but you cannot get up to clean yourself. At some point trolls come in but you don’t make any attempt to speak them. They could be your friends, they could be the Empire coming to collect you. You realise that you don’t care. They’ve taken everything. You have nothing left to care about.

Your next dayterror is worse than the others. You are being pinned down on your back and the GHB’s bulge is pressed into you and you are crying because the pain is something horrendous. There is a tearing feeling inside and suddenly in a fountain of blood explodes from your body as he rips your grub from your body. You scream.

You wake up in the arms of that monster, slapping at him fruitlessly in an attempt to free yourself.

“Let go of me you fucking monster! Don’t touch me! Don’t touch me!” you start sobs and moaning in terror.

“Get your calm on palebro. Calm your tits!” Gamzee coos but you don’t hear his voice. You hear _his_ voice and that is all you fucking need to go shitmaggots crazy because no no no nonononono!!!!!

There is a prickled of claws against you arm and you try to thrash away. A squeal fills the room and your stomach churns because he’s stolen your grub, he’s ripped it out of you, your dream was real, fuck it was real!!

Some time later, you are awake again. You don’t remember when you fall asleep but you recognise it as the room you were given when you return and you can hear the grubs delicate breaths. You manage to pull your thin body up from the recuperacoon and look about the room.

Clipped to the side of your ‘coon is a basket filled with thick soft blankets and rags and plush cushions and your little grub is buried inside. It’s tiny horn is poking out with a small tuft of hair but that is all you see of it. Meiura is sound asleep, chubby, red cheeked and looking every bit as innocent as you’d hope he’d be.

It relaxes your tense body to see him relaxed and alive and well and fed and alive. It’s like something in the back of your pan but it has fled before this little red sun beside you. You let yourself sink weakly back into the slime but keep a paw out just so you know he’s there.

You wake up again and someone is in the room. Two someones.

“We shouldn’t disturb him. The grub is fine, let’s just go.” whispers a harsh voice.

“No, it’s not just the grub in here. I can smell how ruddy he’s gotten, how thin. He won’t eat when he’s awake, doesn’t even seem to realise he is awake. Doesn’t that concern you in the slightest?” comes the clipped reply.

“No, but I don’t want him to fill my quadrants do I?”

A slap. You open your eyes again, they closed? Did you even open them again? You are acutely hungry, and the smell of woolbeast broth fills your sniffer. Forget the broth, you want the woolbeast, wool and all.

“How can you be so self-centered at a time like this?”

“Easily. Look, Redglare, he’s gone through something horrendous, horrendous in a way most trolls will be lucky enough to never realise. Let him sleep. I’m surprised he’d even want to wake up after that. I shouldn’t have to explain this to you.”

“Shut up! I want to see if he will take something, anything. He’s waste to nothing otherwise.”

“Fine! Suit yourself!”

A door opens and closes, and this time you manage to lean your pan back enough to look at whoever has chased the spiderbitch away.

Terezi looks like she hasn’t slept. At all. For like a sweep.

Funnily you don’t feel much better and you have been sleeping.

She’s holding something in her paw, some kind of heating tub with a straw letting stream flow up from it. She smiles weakly, more for your benefit than her own you think, and says quietly “Hey, think you can swallow some liquid? They told me it was woolbeast but fuck if we actually have any of those to make it so…”

You almost numb from the comment but some part of you says it’s a joke and you accept it. Your arms ache with the effort of pulling yourself up high enough. You reach out weakly and take the tub with both hands and suckle on the straw like a wriggler.

The liquid is scalding but the taste is so divine that you might just lie back and let Gamzee’s messiahs take you now. You take a breath and cough with the sudden intake of air. Terezi waits patiently and gently rubs your hair from your pan. Seeing her hands makes you realise how skinny yours have become. Your mits were always about the same size but yours have always been thicker than hers, kinda like the rest of you, pan and all.

You drink some more and only then does your throat feel clear enough to speak though it does feet like Equius’s flipflop.

“Meiura? Is Meiura okay?”

Terezi nods “Kanaya came in whilst you were asleep and had him checked over, apparently he is extremely healthy all things considered, a bit small apparently but extremely healthy. I can’t get over how cute he is!”

She reaches into the basket and pulls the little grub out who has managed to curl his entire body around her hand and is gnawing spiritedly. You chirrup instinctively and he let’s go to look at you and chirrup back. It sounds more like a disturbed hiccup but it sounds perfect. You practically rip him from her hands.

You pull him close to you and nuzzle his face with your chin. He in turn nips are your skin and nuzzles you back. Terezi smiles again and this time it is more real.

“Listen Karkat, I should have listened to you about Thoule. If someone had just listened then maybe none of that would have ever happened.”

“It’s fine, so long as he’s fine. So long as he’s fine.”

“It’s not fine! Karkat! You should have never been put into that kind of danger and it’s all our fault! I should have killed Thoule! I should have trusted you! I let you down. We all did. How you and Meiura have made it out alive is nothing short of a miracle, don’t let Gamzee know I said that, but you have come out less than fine.:

“I made it through the first several times, I will again.”

“You weren’t really supposed to be safe last time. You were this time, we were supposed to protect you.” she reaches her hand down, holds the back of your head, and presses her forepan to yours. Her coolness is soothing.

In a tired rush of emotions and no thought, you let your chin go forwards and kiss her. The action is awkward and sore on your neck but she pulls you closer and that’s all you need. It’s not the long, passionate kiss you once drooled over but it’s a rock in the turmoil of your currently numbed out mind.

You finish the broth and are glad to know that the grub is getting a regular feeding schedule. Sleep starts to take over so you let your eyes close and sink back into your dreams.

Once again, your dreams are plagued by pink skinned aliens with pale hair and strange clothes. You are sat on some kind of cushiony apparatus that was warm and you sink into it happy but the strange aliens are chattering obnoxiously.

You open your eyes fully. Kanaya is there, she’s noticeably younger, barely seven sweeps, and snuggling closely to one of the humans. She looks almost the same caste colour of Tavros, but her cheeks were pink like Feferi. Her hair was whitish though, and she had no horns.

The male beside him was lighter with black glasses over his eyes. His face is making a desperate attempt to stay straight but the odd twitch appeared around his mouth and his eyes, or what you can see if them.

He turns to you “Hey, looks like sleeping beauty has decided to wake? Dream about me?” he mocked.

“Fuck off.” you say but your voice is higher, harsher, like you too have returned to your youth. Kanaya looks at you expectantly.

“You were murmuring in your sleep.” she explains.

“I was probably telling fuckface here to shut it.” you jab a thumb at your neighbour. He pouts and waves your thumb away.

“Nah. Just admit it, you can’t even shut up when you’re asleep. When they were handing out off buttons they dropped yours down between the floorboards.”

“Fuck off Dave!”

You just called him something, and you assume it’s his name. In fact you know it’s his name.

“Nah.” The Dave replies.

You roll over onto your side and snuggle further into the warm, soft cushioning. You yawn and doze off again.

You wake up again some time later and Gamzee is in your room. You feel a chill run up your spine but part of you knows it’s your moirail and that he would never harm you. He is smiling at something though and suddenly you find the energy to pull yourself up and half out of your ‘coon.

Gamzee sits up and looks at your sudden burst of energy in almost comical shock. In his massive hands is Meiura, his tiny red body bright in contrast with the dark block. You hiss at Gamzee and reach for the grub, who squeak back at you like a meowbeast.

Gamzee hands him over and you pull him close and cradle him. Gamzee looks lost and hurt. Like you have slapped him.

You probably have.

He reaches forwards tentatively you but you flinch away. He’s crying now. You’re crying. He lets his hand sit facing up on the lip of the ‘coon and you heave a sob. How could this have happened?

How could you do this to him?

You reach out weakly and take his paw, shaking violently “I’m sorry, I’m so fucking sorry…”

Meiura coos at you and you realise how much is going to change.


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a bastard to do. Enjoy!

Nepeta

You are snuggling with Equius when the first blast hits.

It’s been a couple of weeks since Karkat returned. Again. And for the most part it has been quiet, not just physically, but emotionally. Everyone was once bubbling with energy good and bad, the eagerness to fight the Empire. That drive has gone now, drained like the blood from a kill, with everyone wandering around like they were lost.

That’s not to say it hasn’t been busy by any means. More than ever, trolls seem to be running back and forth. They always seemed to be reading handheld husktops or their arms full of boxes and junk, arranging the less capable trolls, repairing things.

It’s been a hive of activity that hasn’t been likely seen since you’ve all been in the caverns. Everyone seems to be trying to keep themselves busy. But there is an emptiness in their eyes since Karkat’s rescue. Most everyone saw the broadcast of that vile attack, and those who didn’t were soon told in graphic detail. It wasn’t unknown that this wasn’t the first time this had happened to Karkat, but to see it, to see one of their own hand him had left such a bad taste on everyone’s fangs that the energy that had been there was now gone.

The silence has drawn out into something grotesquely draining on everyone’s spirits. You would say that the best thing for everyone right now would be a good fight. You were expressing as much Equius when an explosion rattles from the other side of the ship.

Well you got your wish didn’t you. Happy fucking wiggling day to you.

You are instantly at your feet, Equius not far behind you. You run down to central command. Most of the generals are in there already, several are just behind you. Sollux is clicking wildly, static going between his horns. There is no trace of the atmosphere between him and Feferi that has been there since his daring rescue.

“We have a fleet coming at uth tharboard. Lookth like motht of the Empire’th battlethipth.” Sollux explains to everyone present.

Kanaya appears are your shoulder “What are our options?”

Feferi looks are the sonar, which shows an incredible fleet coming at you. She’s glaring something nasty as she sums up their options. Vriska shouts from the back of the room “We should just kamikazi a few Skeeters on autopilot and use the diversion to escape.”

“We don’t have enough pods for that. Not for the journey back.”

“Back where Feferi?” you ask.

“Alternia.”

The room is silent again for about 2 seconds before the uproar starts.

“We cany do that! Them wrigglers won’t take that as anything friendly!”

“The Empire cares little for it’s people, the Condesce will just mow through the young and then us!”

“That is the stupidest fucking idea this side of my ass!”

“We should stand and fight! Leave Alternia as it is! It’s no prize!”

Feferi slammed the table for order “Silence! I will not have this upheaval! Alternia is our ultimate goal, whether you like it or not! Vriska, whilst your idea is a good one, it does have it’s flaws. The Empire Skeeters will have monitoring to detect whether there is anyone aboard our Skeeters, and I don’t think we can come up with a program that elaborate in the little time we have.”

“It’s something we can work with though!” a voice from the back said.

A blast shock the vessel again and it nearly knocks Kanaya into both you and Equius, who is sweating nervously. He wipes his brow and speaks “We need to go hoof to hoof with them.”

“It appears so.”

You watch the sonar showing the fleet getting ever closer. The ship is too big to be that mobile. It wouldn’t be able to escape without a psiioniic but no one is going to use that plan, even if someone volunteers. And a fleet that size will be no good to try escaping, they will see the attempt to flee and direct their main focus at the main ship rather than the Skeeters. The Battleship Condescension was no doubt amongst them.

“If we drive at them horns first-”

“That’s a stupid idea!”

Another blast shook the ship.

“We’ve got to do something soon!”

You notice a small group of planetoids. You sneak closer to the table and tap a few buttons with your claws. The planetoid readings indicate that it is high gravity and the surrounding planetoids were much the same, hence the cluster towards each other.

You look at the sonar for a few seconds longer, barely noticing the shake of another blast. You have been a hunter all your life. You know how fellow hunters think, like the Condesce. She will go in for the kill, with little regard for her soldiers, that will becomes her undoing.

But you also know how to think like prey. It is not the first time you have been on the wrong end of the claws and fangs intent on your blood. You know how to think like a prey, well enough to survive, and you are good as a prey because you are still alive.

“We could try getting the main battleship stuck in the gravity of those planetoids and use the orbit to fire ourselves away.” you say.

Feferi looks up at you and Sollux turns around as well.

Equius touches your shoulder “Explain this.”

“Well, I’ve noticed that coobeasts will use this manoeuvre when they are trapped in a situation with a predator they cannot compete with. They will allow the predator to come close to them because stopping completely and letting gravity take over. They can then escape because the predator is caught off guard. As you can imagine, it is dangerous and you only get one chance, but it might just be what we need.”

Feferi looks at you seriously for a second. You can see her calculating everything in her head.

Slowly, she says “That might just work.”

It took only a few minutes for the final orders to be sent out and everyone heading towards the Skeeters. You head to your own when Feferi stops you.

“I need you here, you can alter the plan as it happens better here than out in the void. You can adjust it best.” you nod and remain at the sonar.

The Empire Skeeters are almost in range when the RSkeeters meet them head on. The sonar becomes a messy swam of flies as the Skeeters face off, meanwhile your Battleship sets its course for the planetoids.

Sollux jumps up and practically trips over himself to get out of the room. He nearly runs into Eridan on the way, who looks tired and pale.

“Eridan, we need you manning the main turrets of the Battleship, you and the sniper core might make the best hope for us to get through this if the Battleship Condescension catches up.” you command.

He looks a bit shocked at you for a second, his fins flattening against his head, before he nods and turns again. You watch the Sonar.

The coms comes in with a rush of noise before a voice shouts “They are using scatter blasts, suggest focusing targets on those as a priority!”

“Negative! Dedicate a small squadron to focus on that task, we need them distracted from the intention of the plan. Try to avoid fire and return fire if possible, conserve charge and ammo. Omkaqe, Xhadaz, Olkotu, Fevrek; try focus fire to Barrage Skeeters. Eksira, Skeele, Aghuko, Skigfan, Ioqtis, Mummon; target the scatter blast turrets.”

“Roger!”

“Aye Captain!”

Kanaya returned, stumbling over the wiring you realise probably caused Sollux to trip as well “Nepeta! I have the medical bay standby equipped for post-battle. Further instructions?”

“Yes, gather the breeder trolls and enlist their help wherever possible.”

“What about the grubs and wriggler?”

“Have a temporary pen set up for them to be together. If this doesn’t work, they won’t survive either way.”

“And Karkat?”

You feel a plang of unsurety go through you. Karkat was too weak still to be of much help, and he would rather die than be separate his grub, even if it killed them both. And Gamzee would brutalise anyone who tried to separate them.

“Have Karkat watch over the grubs. Gamzee can watch over him.”

“Alright, good luck!”

“Yeah, we kinda need it.”

Fire from the RSkeeters increase, whilst the Empire Skeeters decreases slowly. It’s a relief that they are taking some of the pressure off the fleet. The Battleship Condescension slides through the swarm with a certain amount of deadly grace, like a panther though the leaves. You admire that, but it’s not something you can focus on.

“Where’s Sollux?”

You turn and look at Karkat. He’s wrapped in his cloak, which he refused to part with, the hood up. The grub is squirming at his chest from the fabric sling he has wrapped around himself. Gamzee stoops over him like a guard.

“Karkat, you shouldn’t be here. You should be with the grubs.”

“I will, but I need to find Sollux first.”

“Why?”

“He’s gonna do something fucking stupid.”

“What? Why would you say that?”

“I just know.”

“If a motherfucker wants to know a thing, just give the sweet knowledge Olivesis.” Gamzee hummed. Whilst it was spoken in a sweet voice, it ends up more menacing that comforting.

You scowl at him “Sollux left some time ago, he turned to the right out the door. So I guess he’s heading towards the engine room.”

“Dammit!” Karkat turns and runs off, Gamzee nearly falls backwards in his attempt to get out of the way and it makes a bubble of laughter pop up through your throat and you nearly let it out, but now is not the time. You turn and focus on the sonar again.

The Battleship is heading towards the planetoids nicely now, and the Battleship Condescension is racing after it. Without its helmsmen, it is only half its normal speed. You wonder if the Condesce is regretting transferring Mituna for security. She is probably spitting fur just about now about it. The bubble of laughter escapes.

The Battleship passes the first planetoid, two more and they can change course. Now you start to feel nervousness. It sneaks up on you like a cold chill of a northern breeze, foreboding and like the winter months in the most basic of ways. Something about it carries the memories of fear, sorrow, starvation, death.

You push that thought away forcefully. You are going to make this predator chasing you that you’re are actually very clever and very good at staying alive. The second planetoid edges ever closer.

Another blast rattles the Battleship.

The Battleship Condescension is closing in on you. Any faster and you would be a quackbeast on a pond. Despite its lack of a helmsman it’s still the fastest vessel in the fleet. Your tiny little Battleship is outdated and outfitted, and a downgrade because no one but the Condesce gets the best.

You suddenly realise the cost of failure. It will be your lives, yes, but the breeders will be kept alive, raped again and again, their grubs taken from them as trophies to becomes soldiers for a system that will beat and humiliate them for something they had no choice over. The generations after generations of lowbloods with nothing but death ahead of them, their pans full of pretty dreams of glory and hope, torn until their eyes because the blank livestock of the Empire, bleating to the sound of obedience. The highbloods who are stuck with being better than they can ever be with no understanding of choosing their own destinies. Generations of doom and oppression, planets besieged and murdered, stripped of their culture to be blended at the seams with the Empire until they cannot remember being themselves, their own people with their own minds. Death would be a gift. It won’t be so easy for some of you.

You have past the second planetoid when the second blast comes through, stronger now. The Battleship Condescension is getting close enough to aim really well now, it’s not blasting for the sake of it, it’s intending to take you down.

It won’t.

The radio blurts into action again.

“Nepeta! Get a hold of Aradia or Feferi, or, fuck, Eridan or something! Sollux is hooking himself up to the fucking ship and he’s not letting me get near him!”

“Karkat! What do you mean?! Sollux get away from there!”

“Fuck off NP! You too you overthithed purple brute!”

“Sollux! Don’t! It could kill you if you aren’t hooked up right!”

“Fuck off!”

“Sollux don’t!” Karkat screams and his grubs starts wailing.

You realise that the last planetoid is beside you. You shout the command to turn around the planetoid to control. Another blast hits the back of the Battleship, your enemies are upon you.

“Nepeta! Don’t allow this! Please! It could kill!”

“Get out of the motherfuckin’ helm bitchtits!” Gamzee roars.

You see the planetoid being lined up against the Battleship. The Battleship Condescension is now about to ram you.

Sollux makes the jump.

The Battleship seems to freeze in time before everything shuttles behind you and you are thrown first forwards then backwards into the wall. The equipment sparkles into life with an efficiency that only a helmsman can give.

The radio crackles “Thee, nothing to worry about!”

 


	24. Chapter 24

Karkat

The trip back to Alternia is short and swift. The jolt Sollux provided was all the Battleship needed to get everyone home, mostly intact. The RSkeeters that were out fighting would eventually catch up, the Battleship Condescension would focus on pursuing them. Feferi planned for it. They would return to Alternia, with a plan. A final battle to end the Empire’s reign forever.

You spend the day mostly sleeping, trying to gather whatever strength you can for the battle, you may not be able to do much in the sense of fighting, but you might be able to be a distraction. Feferi explained that the location was known for being a fortress. Aradia and Terezi had both previous explored it in their youth and found the location fully loaded with functioning weapons that could be a benefit to the team.

And now you have landed and are determined to bundle Meiura up as securely and comfortably as possible. He’s quickly becoming more energetic than you could ever have been, at that age. He smiles at you already, scarcely weeks old. His bright eyes look straight at you and he watches you like he’s actually listening to you when you speak or sing to him. He also gets along well with the other grubs in the artificial cavern barrier that have been set up by the other breeders for them. It’s relaxing to just watch him sometimes, letting everyone around fuss over you, as he plays and chirps and crawls around.

Gamzee and Terezi have become awfully adoring of the little grub. It’s hilarious to watch them fuzz over everything Meiura does, and preventing even a water spill becoming a complete disaster. It’s bad that despite the fact that you were the one to carry him inside you for so long, you are more relaxed to let him mess up and bump his head a few times than they are.

Now he watches you sleepily as you place him tenderly into the basket Gamzee weaved for him. He yawns, showing the tiny white teeth. They are slightly sharper than yours, neater too. You don’t mind, it looks like he has your overbite but at least he won’t feel as insecure about it as you are. Now you think about it, you realise that most of the trolls you know have some form of overbite or another. Hell, it affects Sollux’s speech.

You kiss his tiny head and close the lid of the basket. You’ve discussed it with Gamzee at length, and if you die, Meiura is to be taken to the caverns for a lusus to find. One of the breeders has expressed their desire to leave their grub in the caverns as well, they had explained that they didn’t want to face raising a grub. And you can see why, they are crippled from the abuse they have received and struggle to even tend to the basics of their grub’s needs. The little olive is smaller that even Mei and whines constantly, demanding the attention of it’s parent. Said parent never seems to really hear it sadly, lost in their world of horror and memories.

You could’ve ended up like that if it hadn’t been Mituna giving you something to focus on. You have next to no time to mourn your old friend, but you have asked that a monument be made for him if you win this war. Something all the trolls lost in battle can have, a row of names with no colours, no status, but the glory of being honored for their loss.

Sollux looks a bit of a state. He’s mostly sitting around, a dopey grin spread across his face, yellow blood running down from his nostrils. He kept giggling at everyone who talked to him, almost nervously. Feferi screamed bloody murder when she saw him after he pulled himself free of the helm.

She slapped his face and hugged him. He laughed the whole time. Aradia just stood over him and shook her head exasperatedly, smiling the whole time like she had some internal joke bubbling up.

You lift the basket with your precious grub and bring him to the room holding the breeders. All have delivered and no new ones have arrived, probably won’t until after this war either way. Hat Seadweller is giggling loudly at his little wriggler. She ran around full of giggles, pointing out little things here and there. He adored her as much as you adore Meiura.

You place the basket down on the table available, far enough from little curious paws. A couple of them greet you and wish you luck, but you barely hear them. It’s harder to walk out the door than you thought it would be. You think about how it is safer to leave him behind, but you also think about how you cannot leave him. What if it takes a while to get back and they bring him to the caverns and he becomes lost to you forever. You wouldn’t survive that, you wouldn’t want to. He’s your sanity.

You walk into Tavros outside.

“You, uh, don’t have to come with,um, us you know.”

“I know… but I feel like I need to. I can’t go back to the way it was before. I would rather die in battle a martyr and I know that I at least died trying than live out the rest of my miserable life as one of those fucker’s bucket whore.”

“Okay, you still have some, um, time to get ready, uh I’ll come and get you then.”

“Okay.”

You return to your block and look around the room. A uniform has been set out on the sideboard. Plain black trousers and shirt, armour for your thorax, elbows and knees. You stripe and change your clothes before pinning your cloak back around your shoulders. It’s been scrubbed and dyed black fading into red by Kanaya. You didn’t particularly like it when it was first returned to you but it’s grown on you.

There was a scythe and a rifle on the side as well and you put them both in your strife specibus. They won’t likely do you much good anyway, but they make you feel more secure. The weight of them make this whole thing suddenly feel real.

You thought you were ready to die.

You’re not.

Tavros nearly walks into you as you step out. He nods approvingly at your uniform. It’s similar to your own, with the back missing for his wings. You take a deep breath, nod, and the two of you head towards the launching bay.

Gamzee is already there, as is almost everyone else, say for Sollux and Kanaya. Everyone is dressed in the plain black uniform with some unique adjustment to each for requirements. Aradia’s looks pretty plain but her hair is swept back into a black hood. Nepeta has her hair in a unpatterned green version of her wriggler hat. Terezi has her glasses still and her cane as always. Vriska’s has her red boots as always. Equius is at the back, nearly hidden from sight but his belt has two quivers full of arrows attached. Gamzee has purple knee and elbow pads for some reason you cannot fathom. Eridan has his scarf still and Feferi her goggles and her hair plaited down her back.

The change has her looking somehow more like the Condesce than normal.

Sollux and Kanaya come in finally. Kanaya is glowing white, ready to go. Her makeup is infallible again but her uniform is the plain black. Sollux is the most different. His uniform is lined with yellow detachable projectiles, his glasses have been replaced with a red and blue visor, which is connected to his shoulders through wires running down the back of his head. The yellow glow of wires make him look more machine than troll when you realise that it’s a form of helm.

“What the fuck?”

Kanaya looks proud of her design “I felt like we needed an edge. Sollux has that power but we also need someone who can hook up and power the weapons in the fortress for our benefit, that way the Condesce cannot cheat with external hackers.”

Eridan comes over “W-we already had an edge, Kan. You’v-ve gone ahead an’ sharpened it.”

You all laugh, and it’s genuine because this might be the last time you can, together, all of you. Friends. Somehow, it seems right. Someone representing each cast in some way, some representing more than one thing in many way. Aradia is burgundy, lowest in a system of oppression, a breeder, and a psiioniic. Tavros is brown, a communior, and mutant, Sollux is yellow, psiioniic and mutant too. Nepeta is olive and has kindness beyond any troll you know. Kanaya is jade and a rainbow drinker, Terezi is a teal and disabled. Vriska is cerulean and a mind scourge. Equius is blue and a robotic genius. Gamzee is purple and has chucklevoodoo. Eridan is a violet and a breeder. Feferi is pink and still alive, a leader to a wonderful cause, a cause that has been thought for on many different occasions with various rates of success. And there is you. You are part of an extinct caste, a whole new caste, a mutant, a breeder, the hope and future of a troll who’s memory echoes throughout your society. 

It seems right, somehow, that you all came together.

There is a moment of group understanding. No words exchanged, no need. You brunch together as a group.

The journey to the fortress that Feferi has chosen to be the final battleground once belonged to a highblood in favour with either this Empress or another before her, no one is quite sure. It’s atop of a snowy mountain range, thick drifts of white surround the black husk that was.

It had been grand once, glorious and ornate in a way that makes it look haunted. But the roof has fallen in under the weight of the frozen weather. Most of the windows have been thrown in and there is a roughness to the corners and edges are smooth is place where concrete had been. At some point, plant life have taken over and woven it’s way through the building. That had died and rotted away but the damage it did had left it’s mark irreparably.

You have never seen snow before now. None of you have actually. And though you know it’s cold, a worn, tired part of you says it’s probably not as bad your imagination can bring. Fuck you it’s colder.

“GO FUCK YOURSELFS!” you scream as you jump out and ultimately back into the ship.

Sollux doubles over with laughter “I don’t think I’ve ever theen you move tho fatht KK!”

Gamzee glares half heartedly at him, but you know he is fighting back a smile for your sake. Kanaya looks downright horrified.

“Grow up Sollux! Karkat is still recovering from some very severe injuries. His wounds are likely still sensitive.”

“It only went up to hith thighth.”

“And the thighs are connected to his hips and groin. Any tension in those muscles could cause pain.”

You are actually loaded up with pain relief. It’s a surprise that you’re not drifting off like a sopor addict to fucking La La Shitsville, Alternia, Galaxy, Universe, Alt1 4LA. Probably why you can actually move so much still. Gamzee has pointed out your lack of a limp. You said it was just Kanaya’s good medical skills. It’s a half truth. Terezi is harder to hide from, she can smell the blood.

“Are we going in or what?” Vriska snaps behind Kanaya and you step down more cautiously this time. It’s not as bad this time.

Despite landing outside the fortress, you still end up frozen from the waist down because Aradia has to move the snow blocking on the many entrances, after establishing that flying in what not an option, and finding an entrance.

“You alright, Cherry Head?” this is the latest nickname. They seem to change every other day now.

“Yes, just freezing my globes off. What’s left of them anyway.”

“Yeah, I can smell. This place sucks, too much wind for me to see out here, just white and something black in front of us. I can pick up blood easily still. That candy red is too delicious to miss.”

“Here, take my arm then.” you link your arm through hers. She sneakily takes your paw and squeezes gently.

“Karkat… are you sure this is a good idea? You being here, you’re still healing. You may not feel the pain now, but you will later.”

“That’s why.”

“What?” Terezi tilts her head slightly.

“If we lose, the Empire wins no matter what the others do. I can’t go back to that, won’t. I’ll die here if later doesn’t come for us.”

“She might not kill you, she might torture you instead.”

“I will die here if it comes to it. I won’t trust that to her hand. It’s gonna be on my terms this time. I’m taking my life out of their hands for good.”

She’s silent for a while. What more is there to be said on the matter.

“Good.” she whispers, and squeezes your paw again.

This will be all or nothing.

Inside the building is cavernous, damp, echoey. Wind howls like ghosts from the old tomb this place has become. How many lives have this place seen come and go? How many battles? Is this the first? Will this be the last?

Sollux goes through several entries which eventually open into a vast weaponry, with levels filled with cannons and automatic defense weapons. Pedestals display grand weapons of mass destruction.

Suddenly the shelved weapons whurr into life. They turn clunkily to face down at you, spitting up dust and rust and screeching in protest.

“Pretty imprethive, huh!” Sollux chimes.

“You’re, um, uh, controlling them?” Tavros gulps.

“Of courthe! Thtarted programming them within a mile of acceth. I have full control of them and the other thythtems in here. I have also thet up theveral firewallth in here to prepare for the Condethce, as well as a broadcast thythtem and thtandby channel to thummon the Condethce here.”

“Now that’s impressive.” Nepeta comments.

Equius has wandered past Sollux by this point and is examining the pedestals “These weapons are obsolete sadly. But such antiques, they should be on display for all eyes, such mastery of machinery.”

“They’ll probably be destroyed.” says Nepeta as she comes up behind him “Maybe it’s for the best. It’s better to not have such nasty relics of the past on display.”

“Such a waste.”

Feferi claps her hands loudly “Everyone, gather round!”

Everyone gathers, the atmosphere becoming serious.

“Okay. Initially I had planned to summon the Condesce for one to one battle, as is natural for our birthright. It is the way things have always been, but Sollux and Eridan have reminded me that we are not fighting this war for the things that have always been, we are fighting to change the things that have always been. This should not be a battle for power as it has always been, this is a battle for our freedom from the violence and oppression that has controlled our race for too long. We will fight together, as a unit, under a single cause because that is how we have fought this entire time. We have fought side by side, as companions, friends. This should be no different.

“In a minute, we shall summon the Condesce. We shall fight her at once, keep her on her toes, I will take a slight back stage initially. This will weaken her enough for me to have the advantage, so I can take her out. Sadly it has to be done this way. No doubt she will be broadcasting this entire battle for the entire Empire to watch. We will be doing the same for the Rebellion. If the Empire does not see me taking the final blow, the Empire will not accept me as the Empress. I need the Condesce weakened because sadly I am not her match. She will easily defeat me without your help, I am inexperienced and she is extremely experienced. But if we do not let her have a chance to recover, we will gain the upper hand. I am asking a lot, I know, but I wouldn’t ask without a reason.”

“We are in this together. Always have been in a way.” you say.

She nods appreciatively “Karkat, without trying to sound overprotective, I want you to keep a distance and use the rifle we gave you. You’ve been out of battle for a while and are still healing. There is no point in you killing yourself in a battle we will hopefully win.”

There is a cold feeling in your stomach. A part of you, young and foolish and prideful, that screams in protest. You deserve a bigger part of this, you’re the figurehead for this fucking rebellion, you want to be part of this battle. You want to pay her back for all the shit she has thrown at you.

But the troll you were is choked out. The troll you are is standing here, not because he could fight, but because he can endure. He can inspire hope and bravery in others. You are no warrior, but you can protect the idea they have fought for, the hope they have in this. The trolls back at the Battleship. The little grub who doesn’t seem to know anything about the world but you. They all deserve that hope. And they can get it if your fucking corpse does fuck this up.

But most of all, you’re thinking about Meiura. He is probably screaming now, panicking without you near to comfort him. Scared and alone, but safe for now. You have given up so much for him, for yourself, because all you want in this life is to give Meiura the chance of freedom, the chance to live without fear and sorrow, the chance you never got.

Him and the countless other grubs out there now and eventually.

Time to kick some fishie faced ass.

Sollux opens a broadcast, which purposely focuses solely on Feferi. It has to appear that she is alone for the Condesce to come alone, otherwise you will have a whole platoon on your asses and you could really do without that.

“Meenah! It’s time to face the facts! Your time is up, your reign is at an end! Come and face me!”

This doesn’t sound like the Feferi you’ve always known, she sounds like someone different who is ready for blood. Her whole body oozes power and fury. You swear there is a pink glow around her.

It doesn’t take five minutes for the Condesce to arrive. She was probably waiting for this. You are all already in battlestations thankfully.

The ceiling comes in with a blast, and she dramatically floats down from her personal ship. Her shoe touches the grey floor and she is a perfect form, bright and ancient and undeniably beautiful, a piece of art against the decay.

You’ve never actually seen the Condesce. You’ve seen images and broadcasts of her but you’ve always assumed they were edited to make her appear the most beautiful creature. If they were, there was no real need for it. She is beautiful, her eyes bright and mad and intense. Her hair flows like it is still underwater. She is not as curvaceous as you expected her to be, but in fact is all sleek and slim, with no curves whatsoever.

You expected her to be haggard and her age to be showing something awful by this stage but she still holds an element of youth about her, and you can tell that she goes to great lengths to maintain herself.

“Oh gurl, you’ve gone an’ got yourshellf in a carp load of problems.” she slurs are Feferi. You feel yourself cringe internally. Oh course she uses fucking fish puns.

Feferi stepped forwards “Let’s do this.”

And like that the battle has begun.

The Condesce launchs at Feferi like a rocket. Aradia jumps between them and blasts her back with her psiioniics. Equius fires his arrows and Eridan fires his rifle with aims at her shoulder. The arrow bounces off but the blast knocks her back slightly. She turns and bares her impressive teeth at them.

Equius abandons his arrows back to his deck and brings up his fists to meet hers and her trident. She is about to jab him with her weapon when Eridan kicks it away with his foot. She swings it and sends him flying off the ledge. You fire at her as he lands, desperately trying to avoid Equius but your hands are shaking badly and none of your fires hit.

Equius is toe to toe with her, catching every punch she throughs with his own, when Gamzee charges in and knocks her back from the ledge. Feferi spears her ancestors long hair to the ground and jumps away as Nepeta jumps in. Her claws rip at the Empress’ face and fuchsia blood sprinkling across the floor like rubies.

Meenah goes to kick her but Nepeta somersaults away. Terezi and Vriska come up behind her before she has a chance to be fully on her feet again. They slash down, Terezi catches her fin as and they both get their sword wedged into her shoulder. But it is not enough, they are throwback minus their swords.

Kanaya jumps in, glowing brightly as she punches the Condesce in her face. This knocks her across the room, where Sollux is waiting. He flicks his hands upwards, causing the Empress to fly upwards like a ragdoll, all arms and limbs and torn hair. He turns two of the turrets upwards and blasts her further upwards.

Tavros seems to appear out of nowhere. He thrusts his lance through her thigh, and she screams. This sends her flying down.

Nepeta shouts “Karkat, give me a boost!”

You drop your gun and cup your paws for her. She runs and slips her foot into your palms like a shoe. You fire her upwards with strength that shocks you, like a fucking lot, where Equius leaps from a ledge above. Nepeta reaches her paw outwards, her moirail snags it and throws her further.

She is on the Condesce for all of a second before the Empress gathers her wits again. She grabs Nepeta by the scruff of her hair and flings her off. She is fired back to the ground. You go to catch but apparently you are not actually that strong and the two of you and thrown back against the far wall hard enough to send your head spinning.

Sollux starts firing the turrets at her again and Eridan is firing from the right of your vision. She lands with a wallop and is instantly up and charging for your friend. He fires at her again, the turret nearest taking a chunk of the floor away as it fires downwards.

Meenah screams with rage! She leaps up and snags ahold of the turret by its barrel and tears it from the plinth. Sollux goes to fire with the next one but she throws the turret she is holding over at him and he just about escapes in a flurry of limbs.

Aradia swoops in and grabs her hair, she pulls back on the monster, bringing her to the edge of the shelf. The Empress screams, grabbed her hair, and yanked back. Eridan runs closer and perches himself to get the shot, but Meenah tugs forcefully on her long locks, grabs hold of Aradia and practically flicks her at Eridan, causing the two of them to go backwards.

Gamzee and Equius jump over them and charge at her together. She grabs their fists and throws them over the edge. Equius smashes against the ground and bounces, but Gamzee lands on his feet and is ready to fling the Empress over his shoulder at Kanaya who kicks Her Fuckface in one of her sword burdened shoulders. Another scream. This time, she grabbed the sword that had been freshly kicked, and slashes Kanaya across the middle. Gamzee charges at her but she slashes him across the knee and then across the ankle. Standing, she tears the lance from her leg and skewers Gamzee to the floor. He howls in agony and your stomach lurches.

Kanaya jumps for her but the Empress spins around and boots her in the stomach. It sends her back against the wall, which crashes on impact.

Vriska jumps up with another sword when the Empress pulls the other sword from her shoulder and catches her blade. Vriska swings up, to the side, up, side, downwards, slash, jab, stab, slash, but her every movement is caught. Terezi is running full pelt towards them, suddenly drops to the ground and skids in for a kick at the Empress’ legs. She lifts her foot at the last minute and kicks Terezi in the chin, knocking her out.

Tavros lands and picks up the sword Meenah threw aside and starts jabbing alongside his matesprite. The two seem to be doing a very clumsy dance with the Empress, is elegant and glittering bloody, rage and power pouring off her in waves.

It’s taking it out of Tavros, who is quickly panting and sweating. Somehow, she tricks him into stepping forwards before link her leg behind his knee and pulling his backwards. He goes onto his back and is rolling over when the sword is driven through his arm!

Tavros screams and Vriska screams with him. She leans in close to the Condesce who promptly headbutts her. It gives off an almighty crack and Vriska drops backwards.

Sollux flies over to pin her down but before he gets the chance, the Condesce, flings the sword in her hand and it runs past the psiion’s side. He gasps and falls to the ground.

Feferi leaps in at last.

Meenah pulls her trident from her deck and meets her descendant's attack head on.

They appear evenly matched to you as you sit up and set unconscious Nepeta aside. One jabs, the other dodges, one swings, the other blocks. They meet attack for attack. It’s a dance in so many ways, both know the rules and the roles they must play. Both know the cost of failure. Not a single claw must be out of place or it could be the end of the game, the end of a reign, a cause, and many, many lives.

You are silent outwardly but you’re screaming on the inside, so loud your ears feel like they are being punched and your panache doubles!

Then everything feels cold and all you can hear is the sound of your own breathing. 

Because it sinks in.

Feferi is losing.

She is sweating, panting, grunting where silence was before. Her face is pale and flushed at the same time, her arms and legs and cheeks and fins are covered in tiny pink cuts and slices.

Her footing isn’t as sure, her movements not a certain.

She’s going to lose.

Oh fuck no.

She’s going to lose.

Meiura…

You pull your scythe from your deck and bring it over your head. 

You are not going to die at her hands.

Your arms come down sharply.

Sound suddenly comes back in full force as a scream erupts through your breathing.

The scythe hits the Condesce square between her shoulders, and she throws her head back in pain. Blood dribbles down her back and onto the floor.

Feferi, panting and crying now, screams as well.

Her trident runs through the tirants pan.

Blood splatters the ground and the body of the beautiful monster slides slowly to the ground, slumped. She drops her trident and Feferi drops hers. Her body flops to the ground.

Feferi looks down at her, gasping for breath. Not an image of power and strength and glory, but of exhaustion and relief. Tears trickle down her cheeks and she gulps down more breaths.

It’s not the fanfare of glory that you always imagined a victory to be.

It’s horribly silent and echoey.

Your body feels sore and heavy and tired. You do not feel proud, or glorified, or heroic.

The room is too cold, too windy. It reeks of blood and gore, there is rubble and dust in the air, making the stale air harder to breath.

There is probably noise from the Rebellion and Empire. Screams of joy, happiness, hope, relief, rage, sorrow, vengeance.

But here it’s silent.

Just panting.

Just echoing.

Feferi slowly looks up and across the room at everyone.

No one is dead.

By some miracle, no one is dead.

Finally her eyes settle on you.

“It’s over… it’s over…” she whispers.

You sob weakly.

It’s over.


	25. Chapter 25

Sollux 

journal # 178

the la2t week ha2 been bu2y. the iimperiial general iironco2t wa2 captured thii2 week along wiith hii2 entiire crew, 2ome 300 troll2 of mo2t colder hue2, 7000 warm blooded 2lave2, and hii2 two 2hiip2, the battle2hiip planet 2pliitter and the freiighter 873-b3. the general wa2 pretty quiick two 2acriifiice hii2 crew two u2, but not 2o quiick two end hii2 own liife. he and hii2 crew wiill be 2tandiing triial next week.

thank fuck.

tho2e a22hole2 have been a paiin iin our rump2 for a whiile now. iif one of my technology run2 had been attacked agaiin ii would have gone out there my2elf. 

goiing two 2ee KK, GZ, and TZ tomorrow niight. aradiia ha2 volunteered u2 for grub 2iittiing whiil2t KK and TZ have a romantiic day for them2elve2. GZ ha2 2ome work two do wiith 2ome wriiggle2 tryiing two 2pread the iidea of the ghb beiing a fuckiing god or 2ome 2hiit. whatever get2 hiim out of our haiir for a whiile.

not that ii’m complaiiniing two much, me ii2 adorable a2 fuck. he’2 2o much liike hii2 dad iit’2 not even funny. 2ay for the fang2 and hii2 haiir beiing 2liightly curliier you would thiink KK 2pat out a clone. he’2 gettiing boii2terou2 now though, not lookiing forward2 two that.

KK 2aiid that ju2t la2t week he had managed two get hiim2elf 2tuck up a tree wrapped iin kiite 2triing becau2e he claiimed two be fiightiing the damned thiing. problem ii2, no one know2 how he got up there becau2e there wa2 no branche2 or 2hiit two cliimb, 2o that wa2 pretty fuckiing weiird, but what diid ii expect wiith a grub that came from the ghb.

AA 2aiid 2he wa2 goiing two briing EQ but he’2 on a mii22iion. a2ked her why 2he wanted company. 2he 2ay2 2he want2 me two get u2ed two hangiing around wriiggler2. a2ked her why, wa2 2he planniing on haviing a grub of her own now.

2he 2aiid 2he II2 now.


End file.
